Breastfeeding

Overfed at DC

A little background: My LO is 6 months old. He's been going to DC since he was 3.5 months old. He goes 2 days a week and goes by grandma's 2 days a week. He is being cared for from 8:30-5:30. I nurse him at 6am before I leave for work.

I send 5 - 4oz. bottles of BM with him daily - with frozen breastmilk kept at both places as backup. When he's by grandma's he goes through 4 or 5 bottles. At DC they've been feeding him 6-7 bottles (24-28 oz.)- which seems like its way too much. I got off work early today and they had already fed him 6 bottles by 3pm. Both DH and I have tried to give the DCPs tips on how to soothe him if he's fussy, but I fear they are just using the bottle to solve every whimper.

So, I guess what I'm trying to get at is: has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, how did you handle it?

I don't want them overfeeding him, but I don't want them to ignore his hungry cues, either.

TIA

Re: Overfed at DC

  • Upper limit for a BF baby is 32 oz/day, so definitely over feeding if you are nursing morning/night. I would instruct them that LO should not take more than 1 bottle every 2 hours (start of 1 feed to start of another) and make sure they are using proper technique for BF babies. I found these articles helpful:

    https://blog.nurturedchild.ca/index.php/2010/12/10/baby-led-bottle-feeding/

    https://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/

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  • Just wanted to say I've dealt with this too. LO was eating 20-25 oz at daycare between 7:30 and 5:30. She just turned 4 months.

    In my case I wasn't sure if she was being overfed at first because since I BF I didn't know how much she was drinking when not at daycare.

    In your case I think it's very clear your LO is being overfed if the amount in one day is so different between daycare and grandmas house.

    I just kept mentioning my concerns to my DCP but not in a judgey way, just would tell her at drop off that from what I read and LCs I talked to she shouldn't need that much etc Now she has dropped down to 12-15 oz a day and I feel much better and my DCP knows that this is more inline with what I expect. I changed up a few things and I think just the fact that we kept talking about it each day made my DCP realize that the issue was important to me and wasn't going to go away until it got resolved, but I never blamed her since I'm not there during the day to know how my LO was acting.

    In your case I think it would be easy to simply say that when LO is at grandmas he only eats X amount so you know that amount is enough for him. Maybe he is eating for comfort at daycare? maybe he gets over or under stimulated at daycare? and focus on looking at it from that angle and try to work with them.

    Also I'd be curious if they think your LO is eating a lot compared to their past experience or other kids. If your LO is eating more than the other kids that age they should be willing to work with you to figure out why.
  • I was about to post almost the same post, but my problem is the 2 days with great grandma not daycare. My 4 month old is growing perfect, gets enough sleep and is happy. Daycare feeds 3, 4oz bottles and LO is satisfied for 8 hours. Great grandma (who is a young 70), started with 3, then increased to 4 bottles and last Thursday asked for 5 bottles a day. I am at my wits end, I have tried to speak to her, my MIL who is a PA has spoken to her, even great grandpa has tried. She basically feels that I am not feeding LO enough. I tried to explain this morning that for breast feeding to work, I need her cooperation and she told me that she knows what it's like to go to sleep hungry and she won't let her great grandchild experience that. She then suggested formula, again.

    If you have a solution that helps I'll be interested in it too, all I can do is commiserate with you. I'm ready to fire great grandma, but daycare can't add days (I asked and got on the waiting list ) and my husband doesn't want to cause family problems by firing her. I wish I could give advice, but I can tell you that you aren't alone- I feel like this is all I think about - it makes work miserable.
  • Woah that seems like way too much! If tell them when he is allowed to eat, maybe not more often than every 3 hours?

    4 4 oz bottles seems like plenty, maybe cut down on what you're sending?

    I'd also have a serious conversation with the admin that they are not doing their job if they are only soothing him with food.

    On the other hand, is he fine weight wise? Is he sleeping (moderately) well at night? Have you introduced good yet? Maybe he needs the calories or maybe he needs the attention b/c grandma probably gives him more love than DC.

  • @Sing2phins‌ you just spoke my biggest fear out loud, she jokes about that all the time. She also is just itching to give baby "real" food. She had 4 children of her own and babysat my DH and his 4 brothers, so she has experience. But my DH also remembers that her idea of an after school snack was a stack of pancakes. I'm looking into daycare providers in the area to supplement until DC can pick up the rest of the week. I loved the idea of GG-baby bonding, but not at the expense of a lifetime of bad eating habits. Sorry I hijacked this post OP! (Smiles sheepishly)
  • Update - I had DH pick up LO tonight, great grandma said she is going to try and feed LO as I want but she disagrees with 4oz bottles. He said she laughed and said wait until we start solids. He thought she was being sweet. He obviously dosent get it either. She has some weird issue with food I never realized in the last 9 years. I started calling local daycares after work to see if they have baby openings. I love our DC but since they can't do 4 days, I'll have to switch if necessary. Oy vey. Good luck @nbartlett47‌ , how did today go for you and your LO?
  • Thank you ladies for all of the suggestions!!

    @Kate030‌ - he was by Grandma's today and again only went through 4 - 4 oz. bottles. He'll be at DC tomorrow, but DH does drop offs so I'm going to send a note in his bottle bag and have my H talk to them, and I'll follow up when I get him after work.

    I totally know how you feel about others wanting to give LO formula or solids. When LO was going through one of his growth spurts at around 2
    months, just about everyone I knew over the age of 50 was suggesting that I give him formula or rice cereal because he was eating too often so it must have been that "my milk wasn't enough for him." I politely told them that unless I wasn't able to produce enough milk, he would be just fine having BM alone. A few of them were a little more persistent, but then I got a little less polite. They got it eventually.

    @theresat858‌ - they were/are giving him 6 or 7 - 4 ounce bottles. I'm afraid about not leaving frozen as back up, though. What if they spill a bottle or something were to happen that I can't get to him at the usual pick up time? I suppose I need to reiterate that the frozen is kept there strictly for emergencies.

    @babymama619‌ - he is in the 50th percentile for weight and has been STTN since he was about 2.5 months old. we just started one serving of solids a day about 2 weeks ago, and he's loving them. I know that since he does sleep well he'll be eating more frequently during the day, but 7 bottles in addition to nursing 3 times plus a serving of solids seems excessive.

    Grandma has been watching him because she was laid off from her job last month, but she was just offered a new position today, so DS will be at DC 4-5 times a week, so getting this situation under control is extremely important. I'm going to have DH address it with them in the morning and I'll talk to them about it again at pick up. I'll also follow up with the director if it happens again. Otherwise DS seems genuinely happy and cared for while he is there - I'm just not sure if all the teachers are properly educated on how to feed a breastfed baby.
  • Follow up: DS was at DC today from 8:30 to 6:30 - I usually pick him up at 5:30, however I developed mastitis and was shaking so badly that I didn't feel safe picking him up. So, my H picked him up - and what do know...after H said something to them this morning, DS only had 5 bottles today, and he was even there an extra hour. I'm going to keep an eye on if to make sure they follow our instructions.

    Thank you all again for all of your help!

    And, @AmyG*‌ - we're going to miss you!
  • @nbartlett47‌ good luck with the mastitis, I had that in December , it is the WORST! Glad DC went better today, hope next week continues as well. @AmyG*‌ I'll use the calorie information, hopefully it helps ! Thank you!
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