so the big deal interview I had did not pan out. It came down to two of us, and while they liked my work and me, personally, best, they went with the other candidate because they think she has a better chance of keeping the position in the long term. They have a bad history of losing people early. They discussed a dual hire, but they have hit their budget for the year. I got a nice decision letter and that is that.
So, my other job opportunity is at not such a great place, in a small town hours and hours away from everywhere else. Getting to my parents will require 3-4 connections, or 18 hours of driving. I can literally see farms for as far as the eye can see from the building. The employer is also pushing me to add responsibilities that will hinder my attempts to go elsewhere. I'm not feeling so great about it. This is the only option I was able to swing out of the 8 jobs that became available for people in my field. There might be nothing next year. I'd be nuts to not take the job.
and I think I might have to POAS next week. I've been feeling strange the last two days, and this would be 10 days after ovulation. I want this, but I am super anxious about it now. Everything seems so unstable, but the timer on my ovaries is running down. I'm grateful is this does pan out, but - like I said - insanely anxious. I also got super emotional over the thought that there I'll have less time for my current LO.
I get that all of this sounds like bulls#$%. These are good things, ultimately. There is just a lot going on today. Nothing seems to be where I left it.
So - tell me I'm nuts. I need to hear it.
Re: emotional day
If the employer can move a few items we are negotiating, this place could be a good place to be for 2 or 3 years. We could eliminate our student loans. The cost of living is so low we could send LO to a fancy daycare and kindergarten. We would be isolated and very cold, but we have a few friends that live only a few hours away - so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. The institution has a lot of money, and my progress there seems more likely than at the very highly esteemed place that gave the job to someone else.....so maybe this is all to the life good. A place to gain ground, while we look for something where we would like to be. Let's hope, in anycase.
Thanks again.