Deciding between 2 doulas

rmm17 · March 2014

I am hoping you experienced natural birthers can help me process and decide between 2 great doulas! I would appreciate any feedback you have, thoughts to consider or encouragement.

Just for some background: I am 18 weeks pregnant with my second child. I did not prepare or inform myself for my first birth at all (besides taking 1 breastfeeding class). I had some un-necessary interventions that led to a very painful recovery for myself and some trouble bonding initially with my baby. I want a more positive experience now. My husband is amazingly supportive but intimidated by natural birth. I don't feel he will be an excellent primary birth coach and either does he. He said he would prefer to get direction from the doula.

Have decided on a more natural birth this time around, am enrolled in Hypnobabies class, changed providers, and am hiring a doula. There are on 2 doulas in my area available for my birth that have any experience with Hypnobabies. They are very different and I am having some trouble choosing!

Doula #1: Has been doula for 14 years and attended 150 births (DONA certified). In not very experienced with Hypnobabies but has worked with 2 moms that hypnobirthed. Is supportive of the language. She is a very calm, easy going, person. All of her own births were positive and un-medicated without issues. I like her and love that she has so much experience. When asked, she couldn't really say specific comfort tools/techniques she uses besides massage. I don't feel like we had an instant rapport but there was nothing about her that makes me uncomfortable. My husband thought her personality was "boring". Not really open to taking photographs for us. Cost $850.

Doula #2: She has been teaching Hypnobabies for several years (only instructor in the area) and recently started training to be a certified doula. Does not have any certification but is a "hypno-doula" through Hypnobabies. Has taken workshops on essential oils, rebozo work, and spinning babies. Her experience with her first pregnancy was similar to mine. Very active in the natural birth community in my town. She is an acquaintance through LLL and the Attachment Parenting International Group. She will be my Hypnobabies Instructor so we will be spending about 24 classroom hours together. She has only attended 3 births total (beside her own). I feel very very comfortable with her and like her personality. My husband liked her personality better than doula #1. Cost is $450.

I really think it is the experience thing that is making me hesitant to choose the Hypno-doula. Any suggestions or things to consider? What would you do?

spicysurro · March 2014

I would choose the second one like PP said personality plays a HUGE role in your birthing time and how you feel around her. I wouldn't worry too much about experience because everyone has to start somewhere. Also as long as you are in the care of medical professionals being a midwife or OB you will be fine. You also want DH to be comfortable around the doula so that he feels able to talk and get direction from your doula. If there are personality issues things could go sour fairly quickly. It sounds like the 2nd Doula has many options to help you deal with labor. Where as the first one just said massage...I HATED being massaged during my labor. Everyone is different and you may love it and want to kiss your doula on the mouth when she does it, but my point is that you won't know until you're in it and you'll want a doula who gives you lots of options. Good Luck!!

aylafsu88 · March 2014

I would go with the hypnobirth instructor. If you feel comfortable with her that is the most important part. This woman is going to see you at your most vulnerable and emotional so you want someone that you are comfortable with. She may not have a ton of expereince but she has the knowledge and the information which will be useful. Every birth is different and there is no predictable pattern for how things will go. Even a doula with experience may encounter things that are new to her. I know that my doula had attended 30+ births and still encountered something new in my birth. I felt the urge to push when I was only 8.5 cm. The nurse had me resist pushing until I had dilated further. I was freaked out but my doula talked me through contractions and helped me breathe will fighting the urge to push. Afterwards I had asked her if that was common as my Bradley classes had not mentioned it. She said she had never had it happen before but she never showed it in my labor and got me through it. IMO having the information and being prepared is the most important thing as labor can be unpredicable.

rmm17 · March 2014

Thanks everyone! My gut was really telling me that the 2nd doula would be the best choice but it seemed strange (to my brain!) to choose someone with less formal experience. I am feeling really excited about my birth and her ability to help me with my hynosis scripts and prompts.

jmknox · April 2014

#2 for sure

margaritachikita · April 2014

It sounds like you have a better connection with doula number 2. It is most important to have someone who you feel comfortable with. Doula-ing comes from the heart, and while experience can be helpful, every birth is very different! Sounds like doula number one may have lost some of her passion along the way...

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