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Working Moms
oughtonk
member
Am I crazy? Work through leave proposition...
oughtonk
member
in Working Moms
I'll try to make this short and to the point. My company was acquired at the end of last year, prior to that we were small. Now we're part of a big Fortune 500 company. I've been an individual contributor in my role and outside of me there's not really anyone that knows what I do. The individuals in the larger company don't really have their act together and they don't know our customers or have the relationships built like I do. With that I've had a lot of anxiety about passing off my work because it'll be a mess when I get back. It's a tough position to be in because I actually really have no one to step in for me. Also, there's no maternity benefits, you get 12 weeks of FMLA with STD for the first 6 weeks at 60% pay, I think.
My old boss (I report into someone now within the wider organization that I've heard from 1 time total) and my smaller company's CEO (he's still in the same role for now) had a discussion about me going on leave yesterday...my old boss knows I'm not comfortable passing off anything and now our CEO and my old boss are feeling the same way. Overall, we're in a really rocky patch with the entire acquisition and transition to begin with, a lot of unhappy customers and overall to much change being thrown their way at once.
I was left with a proposition yesterday, if I get put on bed rest they've approved me working from home which is great and a huge relief. But they've also asked what me willingness would be to continue working remote after the twins are born. Basically take a week or two off completely directly afterwards and then work as little or as much as possible for the remaining 10 weeks of what would be my leave. Ultimately, I would never take FMLA and I would get paid in full regardless of how much work I did each week. They have the understanding that for the first 6-8 weeks it may be only an hour a day and I slowly increase my time as I adjust to the babies.
At first I thought, I don't want to give up leave. But then I got on the financial tangent and this would save us a ton because we wouldn't be without my pay at all. Even though we've saved and would be okay without me working. My mom will be at our house a lot helping with DS and the twins, I could ultimately work during naps, in the evenings after SO is home or on the weekends. I told my old boss I could end up only putting in an hour or two a day for awhile. He seemed totally okay with that. The primary goal is to not fully support everything I do today at work but focus on the items that are customer impacting that can't be put on hold for 3 months.
Am I crazy to be considering this?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I crazy? Work through leave proposition...
I could see maybe taking the 6 weeks STD and then working limited hours for the remaining 6 weeks.
You say you could ultimately work through naps. I think you have to focus on the "ultimately" part of that statement. It might be 6-8 weeks before the babies are on anything like a schedule, and it's quite possible that they won't be on the SAME schedule. Everything will take twice as long with twins, and between the grind of it (feed, diaper change, get babies to sleep, repeat every hour or so) and the sleep deprivation, you might be struggling to rub together two brain cells to come up with a coherent thought well beyond the first two weeks. If you're set on working for at least part of your leave, I would prep your boss that it might be a month or more before you're ready to attempt this one hour/day business.
Do you know anyone else with twins to talk about what the early days are like? I had a fussy, reflux-y singleton and couldn't imagine working through my ML. But maybe you could get real-life stories of twin moms? I'm sure it's a completely different experience.
You just have to weigh if it's worth it. Is the fully paid leave worth missing out on some perks of maternity leave? Sometimes 12 weeks off just isn't feasible and people just have to make it work. Just make sure the decision is yours and that you aren't feeling pressured by your company not making appropriate arrangements.
But that doesn't mean I'd do it if I were you.
I went back to work "part time from home" at 6w because I essentially run my own agency within an agency and felt the same way about taking care of clients, and not having anyone to really step in and "cover" for me.
I was checking email pretty much right off and responding to urgent things (we don't have short term disability, so I wasn't breaking an "rules" when I did so) but I didn't really DO anything for the first 6 weeks beyond that. After that I gave my self 4 hrs/day to work in our home office, those hours were at my discretion and it worked out fine for me. (Parents were here and I was able to have DS with me when he wasn't crying.
It was FINE.
BUT.... I can't say that I will (I'm 18w with our second) do it again, only because you really WON'T get that time back. I really don't know what I'm going to do, but I can tell you that it is possible (at least with a singleton) to stay tethered.
Perhaps if you are getting that extra money you could hire a short term nanny to be at home with you and your parents to make it easier?
Good luck,.
For a singleton pregnancy/birth, I would say proceed with caution. It might not work out to work on leave.
For twins? No. I think you need to take all the time you can.
Ditto the PPs. Also, don't forget with twins you are more likely to deliver early so you may end up with one or both babies in NICU for a couple of weeks (hopefully not, but this happened to a friend of mine). So by the time they get home you may already be a couple of weeks into your leave.
And the fact that your boss does not want to deal with this should not force you into working during your leave. I posted a similar question a couple of months ago, because I get zero paid leave, and I am the only one at my office who knows what I do. My boss kept putting off talking to me about who would cover while I was out and I was considering working during my leave on a limited basis, but the ladies here talked sense into me.
So finally I told my boss I will NOT be working over my leave and guess what? He figured it out. Will things be perfect? No of course not, but they will survive.
Take this time for yourself and your babies. Don't let your boss make you feel like you have to work because he doesn't want to do any planning.
And don't forget, not only are you caring for two newborns this time, you are also going to be helping your DS adjust to having two new babies in the house. Don't spread yourself too thin,
Having twins is a life changing event on its own and you will have a LOT to adjust to. I think by taking on this whole working one hour a day business, you will be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and you won't be able rest when you need to. Also spending time with the babies will help you when you eventually do go back to work - you will be rested and hopefully ready to jump back into things.
And ditto PP who said that your boss will figure it out. Your babies and your family should be your priorities during ML, not your clients or your job.
I think most of this was covered, but well my .02 and all. First, I saw it was mentioned, but if you start working and then in a week or two have a complication/decide that you cannot handle working and 3 kids and the craziness your body just went through, you probably will not be able to receive your STD pay. So then you will get 0 vs. 60%. Also, I would be very dubious about promises that you can work a handful of hours and get paid full time. You said you were now a Fortune 500 company, that may have flown in the small biz, but depending on your job, SOX is going to disagree with that idea.
The fact that you have a kid already tells me that you were one of the rare ones with an easy baby. I had my DD at 35 (almost 36 weeks), she didn't require the NICU, but we had feeding issues that required me to feed her every two hours. For weeks. I BF'd so there was no way I was doing anything else but feeding and surviving. If you plan to BF, I would say definitely not, if you plan to FF, and you have A LOT of help, maybe.
I had 2u2, but I was floored by how big of a change going from 1 to 2 was, much harder than 0 to 1. The joke is that 1 is none and 2 is 10, and it really can seem that way sometimes. Even with help, I cannot fathom working for the first 4 weeks. Maybe possibly after that, but it would be very limited.
If it were me I would take my 6/8 weeks disability and then agree to work at home as you can for the next 6. GL.
@dashofreality - I was thinking about the STD issue too and it is a very good point.
OP, now that you work for a larger company, I would assume there is an outside company who administers your STD insurance. At my company there is a requirement that you have to file by a certain date, which includes getting forms completed by your Dr., etc. if you are going to be approved for STD.
You are running a risk by not documenting your STD claim ahead of time that if you run into issues partway through your leave and are unable to work you may very well end up getting nothing.
And I would make sure that your boss is able to follow through on his promises, if you do end up agreeing to his proposal.
This would be my concern. It sounds great now to your boss to have an hour or two here and there, but how much help is that really going to be? I feel like in reality you will be asked/pressured to do more and it has the potential to spiral out of control. In general, I like to underpromise and overdeliver. Both of my mat leaves I did not "work" until my 12 weeks were up but I did routinely check email (with Communicator showing offline at all times!) and if there was a genuinely urgent situation where I needed to weigh in I did. But I did it quietly and unpredictably so folks did not start sending me stuff to do, because my intent was not to be working during that time.
I know it feels nice to be SO necessary and indispensable - but it's really a bad spot to be in - for both you and the company. As I think this is beginning to show.
If your boss refuses to listen to you and refuses to get help, then let your boss sink here. If you come running to the rescue - you'll only teach him that he's right. Let him flounder a bit.
I did the exact same thing, against the advice of the other ladies on this board, and REGRET every single minute of it. I was constantly worried that I wasn't "doing enough" and every moment my LO was sleeping, I felt I had to work. I was miserable. People who didn't know the arrangement, since it was none of their business, complained that I wasn't working full time and taking advantage of the system. Those who did know, expected me to work their hours, not mine.
I would not do it. Never in a heartbeat would I recommend someone doing this.