Any BF'ing mamas NOT sleeptrain?

OntheWater · April 2014

So, my DD2 is perfectly capacble of sleeping through the night. From 6 weeks until 6 months, she slept 11-12 hours a night, never waking ONCE during that time. Not even one night. Then I moved her to her crib one week short of 6 months and returned to work a few days later. Well....now she is reverse cycling BIG time. I average 2.5 hours of sleep a night. I cannot/will not bedshare. I don't think it's always hunger, maybe just reconnecting with mama. I am exhausted though. I have a 4 year old too, my husband travels a lot for work and I am trying to maintain my career. I am getting worn down. We are 7 weeks into this crazy lack of sleep world.

I have tried some of the no cry sleep solution techniques, and am occassionally successful with putting my hand on her chest or holding her hand and using the sleep sheep. But not always. Rocking her/nursing her a bit is fastest and most successul but many times the second I shift to stand up to put her back in crib, she starts screaming again. I admit, I am just too tired in the MOTN to continue trying the no cry sleep solutions. It's an evil, non-productive cycle. My husband takkes on the 2 a.m. waking and she seems to go back down for him without too much fuss. I'm tempted to try having him go in more often.

My question though, have any BF'ing mamas just lived through this and not bothered to sleep train? Am I in for a nightmare if I don't get around to doing it? Or did it ultimately just somehow work out?

vvvvvfee · April 2014

your DD is definitely not the norm, STTN at such an early age. many babies with working moms reverse cycle to nurse more at night- my DS definitely did. i do think that it is a phase, though, and she may be adjusting to you being back at work and/or going through a growth spurt or sleep regression.

we never sleep-trained, but we also bedshare. my DS is now 19 months and sleeps through the night (unless he is sick).

my first suggestion would be to have your DH go in and soothe her, but you said he travels a lot. is there a reason you are opposed to bedsharing? i don't think i could've survived working f/t if we weren't bedsharing.

i do think our LOs eventually work it out on their own, though. i like the comparison of sleeping through the night being a skill that kids have to learn, they all learn at their own pace, and we can't force it, just like you can't force a baby to learn how to crawl or walk before they are ready. you can do things to facilitate their learning, but you can't force it prematurely.

OntheWater · April 2014

She certainly isn't the norm, that's for sure! Notwithstanding, she moved from about the 15-20% to the 75%+, so I wasn't concerned about her gaining.

I'm opposed, for myself, to bedsharing because, quite frankly I am scared to! I have read a lot about it, I just know myself enough to know I would NOT fall asleep. I sleep better getting 30 minutes here and there than I would if she were in bed with me. I hardly sleep when my 4 year old occassionally snuggles up with us when she's sick, I can't imagine a 7.5 month old!

My husband is going to try taking on another waking now that the one he is already handling is getting smoother and smoother. But, of course, we go backwards a little with the travel. I am hoping she will see less and less benefit to waking if only dad comes in! LOL! I am just too tired to spend hours on the floor every night with my hand on her chest shssing her till she dozes back off when rocking/nursing her puts her back to sleep quicker. I guess I just hope that one day I fall asleep and realize when I wake that I just slept 4 plus hours!

vvvvvfee · April 2014

is she sleeping in the crib in her own room? maybe she'd sleep better if she was in the crib in your room? or in a pack-n-play? then at least it'd be easier to get to her to nurse her when she wakes.

OntheWater · April 2014

I've pondered that. She's in a crib in her own room now. Until just shy of 6 months, she had been in a rock n' play in our room, where she was a fantastic sleeper. She napped in her crib though. When we moved her into her crib in her room, I expected a rough transistion, but she maintained her normal sleep schedule for the first 2 weeks until I returned to work. I have wondered if setting up the pack n play in our room would give her the closeness that she seems to want right now. It may be worth a shot. And maybe I could stick the binkie back in quick enough that she doesn't wake fully. It just means another transition again later! Lol! I suppose at this point, anything may be worth a shot!

cinderin · April 2014

My DS is 8 months old and has never slept through the night.

We don't sleep train and we don't bed share.

He was getting up only once a night at his best, but has been doing the every 2 to 3 hour thing for the last couple months.

I don't know what to tell you. Someday he will be a teenager and I won't be able to wake him! I keep reminding myself.

We just transitioned him from the swing to his crib (I know, I know) and I have had to let him "fuss it out" a little. I nurse him to sleep, then put him in his crib (which usually wakes him). I let him fuss for 5 minutes or so (depending) and sometimes he just falls back sleep. If he cries, I go in and nurse or rock him back to sleep and do it all over again. I do the same thing at night.

I don't think it is helping him sleep more, but he has been in the crib, which was the goal. He has been sleeping the same (crappy) 2 to 3 hours at a time in the crib as he was in the swing.

vvvvvfee · April 2014

i would try the pack n play in your room. maybe the moving into another room combined with your going back to work was too many changes at once? i wouldn't worry about the transition later- it might be easier than you think, and you have to do what you have to do now to get sleep so you don't lose it!

OntheWater · April 2014

Thanks ladies - maybe I will try putting her back in our room for a few nights and see what happens. THEN, either way, I will have my husband start taking on an additional waking. I feel badly complainining about this because I know we've been very lucky, but I also know that she's (obviously) capable of getting better quality sleep than she is now and for at least 1, if not 2 of her 4-5 wakings each night, it is impossible to get her back to sleep. 2.5 hrs of sleep over the course of 2 stretches is just not enough for me to function properly! Thanks so much ladies.

sarahandeddiejune212008 · April 2014

Most BF babies do not sttn until much older than 6 months. DD#1 did not sttn until she was 18m, and she was night weaned at 15. DD#2 is 20m and does not sttn yet. She still nurses 2x/night. With DD#1 I did bedshare once I went back to work. It was the best way for both of us to get sleep.

OntheWater · April 2014

Thanks ladies...casey78- definitely think there's some reverse cycling going on. Amyg- I think some teething is starting, but only in past 2-3 weeks, not the entire 7 weeks this has been going on. Crawling has been a big effort lately and I didn't consider the sore muscles/bath combo. I'll add that in! I certainly don't expect her to STTN, I recognize we've been very lucky in that regard. I would just love to see some relaxation on the routine of waking every 1.5-2 hrs and not letting me put her back in the crib. Often by the time I get her into the crib, it's only 20-30 minutes before her next waking. It makes for lonnnngggg nights when it is every night! I do notice when she wakes she is gassy. We started probiotics a week ago. Gas drops don't hold her thru the night and it doesn't seem to matter what foods she sampled during the day. I even tried a few days w no solids and that didn't make a difference in the gas. I'm wondering if when she starts sleeping on her belly (she's in a sleepsuit now), if she'll be able to pass the gas easier and wake less. We'll see! I did get a fantastic break last night tho- she clearly knew yesterday was my birthday bc she woke at 10:45, I fed her. She woke at 1:30, my husband changed her and got her back to sleep and then she didn't wake till 4:55, I fed her and started getting ready for work. It was the most amazing stretch of sleep for me!! I'll pay for it tonight! Lol!

MrsBigTime · April 2014

OntheWater said:
My question though, have any BF'ing mamas just lived through this and not bothered to sleep train? Am I in for a nightmare if I don't get around to doing it? Or did it ultimately just somehow work out?

I didn't sleep train, and DD eventually got into her own rhythm. I did partially bedshare though, so that helped.

To me, maintaining my supply, which I had to work really hard to do, was more important than uninterrupted sleep, so if DD woke at night, I'd nurse her. It helped that I brought her to bed with us after her first wake up in her crib.

When she turned 1 year, I was starting to get a little more fed up with the frequent wake ups (she went from one a night to three), so I stopped getting her at her first time waking, and that made a huge difference and she started sleeping through the night until about 5 am, when she'd nurse and then go back to sleep until 8 or 9.

All that to say, I didn't really sleep train, but I did eventually have to help her sleep for my sanity, but because she was older, but not too old, it was actually really easy and not nearly as stressful as I had expected.