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Daycare Hell!

shaunessashaunessa member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
So I had to rescue my child yesterday from his first day of daycare!  I showed up unannounced during my lunch and noticed that there were 4 more infants than previously told.  Upon registering, they gave me a checklist of everything I needed to have...bibs, his own crib sheet, etc.  Well I made sure to pack double...just in case.  Well, I walk in and it so happens my babe is being fed his bottle...wearing some raggedy ass bib that's torn and stained!  I'm like wtf?  Did they not specify to bring your own? The lady asks if I'd like to take over and I said "sure I'll hang out for a while".  So as I'm feeding my lil' one I'm carefully examining everything going on.  Most of the kids there, had crusty boogers if not runny boogers down to their mouth.  They made no effort to clean them up!  Not only that, why the heck did the parents drop off their babies if they're sick!?  Then, I hear this huge thump and its this little kid that falls flat on his face on the floor.   He starts growing this huge knot in the middle of his forehead.  I mean, it starts bruising and starts getting huge quick!  No call to the parents is made.  They grab ice and put a band-aid over it. To top it off, the crib sheet that they had me provide is not being used. "Oh we have our own that we wash every night." Yea f*ckin right!  Then why did you say to bring one????

Yes, we toured before enrolling-but it was a scheduled tour.  Big mistake!  If you're looking into a daycare center definitely do your research before hand and show up unannounced.  Stay there for an hour to observe everything!  Yes, it might be a little weird just sitting there, but the more you know about what goes on the better.  

Anyways, just thought I'd share.  So yea, I was April-fooled big time!
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Re: Daycare Hell!

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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    Sing2phins said:
    I'm with @cagoldi.  Germs are par for the course at daycare.  My LO has been at daycare now for 7 weeks and has been congested basically since day 3.  She's had RSV, bronchiolitis, and an ear infection.  She only stayed home until she was no longer contagious.  Even now, daycare gives her her breathing treatments.

    As far as the bibs and stuff, we were told to bring them, too, but they never use them.  It bothered me at first, but then I realized in the scheme of things, who cares?  They use their own bibs and wash all the laundry (including crib sheets) every night  (I've seen it).  I'm sure yours does, too - it's part of the licensing requirements. And honestly, what is the big deal about your LO using a "torn and stained" bib as long as it's clean when he puts it on?  Isn't he just going to get it dirty anyway?  Is there some infant fashion show happening?

    Finally, when you say there are 4 more infants than they told you, again, so what?  Unless there's a ratio problem - not enough teachers - then I can't possibly see how that's a problem.

    Only you can decide if you're comfortable leaving LO there, but you might need to lower your expectations a little bit on some of these things.
    -No, not a fashion show-but c'mon replace the damn things if its that old!
    -It's the fact that they LIED about how many babies were in there.  If they lied about that, what else are they lying about?
    -And no, I don't plan on lowering my expectations.  I don't just settle.  If they tell you to bring certain items to use for your child, use them.  Don't tell me one thing and do another.
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    elmoali said:
    I understand that bringing your baby to daycare can be stressful but you are overreacting.  Very soon your child will have boogers streaming down his face.  I shit you not, most daycare kids have a cold from like October to May.  Yesterday my baby's room went through an entire box of tissues just during an hour outside.  You will quickly learn that minor illnesses are a part of daycare and if you plan to keep your child home for a cold, no snark, you should expect to not be employed much longer.

    Accidents happen and providers have a lot of experience.  If you aren't comfortable with the way they handled it, that's your perogative but I'm not sure that required an emergency call to the parents.  They assessed and treated.  Kids get bumped and banged a lot.  Mine has definitely come home with bruised cheeks from taking a header while learning to stand. 

    The sheets and bibs?   Annoying, maybe but a big deal?  No.  Feel free to ask them to use your stuff or ask to have yours back since they don't need it but it certainly isnt' a deal breaker.
    -One of the providers was young, so I don't quite think she had a lot of experience.  But no lie, this kid's bump was huge and bruising.  not a small smack on a table or against something.  His head went full force onto the floor.  I would definitely want a phone call if my kid had a huge knot growing on the center of his forehead.  But to each his own.  Maybe I'm being overly cautious, but so what? I'd rather know, then not know.  What if the kid had a concussion?  I'm not over exaggerating when I say the knot on his head was huge.  
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    Idani said:
    I agree with the PP plus kids fall, how do you know they didn't inform the parents. It would likely be done in a private area. At ours the administrator does this calls and we also have the option to be text or email so its most convenient and effective for the parent. Nothing you stated would be a huge problem to me but its your choice and your kid.
    Maybe they did after I left.  But for the hour and half i was there, neither of the teachers got up.  I would want to know asap.  
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    Idani said:
    Also this was his first day? You went t lunch so he had been there maybe 4 hours? They probably haven't even label his things yet or unpacked it all. You seem very upset about the bib.
    Yes, his first day.  They had already unpacked his things and labeled everything.  And i was upset about the bib.  Oddly enough, I think that's what pissed me off the most!  It almost looked like they only had 1 bib to pass around to all the kids.  I dunno, this is a franchised daycare and the director drives a BMW. Surely, they could afford a pack of new bibs. A 10 pack costs $7 at Wal-Mart.  Anyways, I'm just going to wait a while until my little one gets a little older (he's only 6 weeks now)  He has his first set of shots next week, so that was another concern.  All these boogied babies and my son hadn't even been vaccinated.  I think we'll either try the nanny route or go with another daycare facility later on.  Right now, my boss said it was cool to bring him since all he does is sleep anyway.  
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  • nonzerononzero member
    Lol your kid is still going to get colds with a full set of vaccines. I think my 3 yo has had 10 since last October and this is his second winter in daycare. I know your LO is little but daycare and snot go hand in hand (or finger in nose).
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  • cagoldicagoldi member
    OP, it's frustrating having a sick baby. It's really miserable actually. I've even considered going the nanny route myself. But like everyone said, that's just the price of admission when you send your child to daycare unfortunately.

    Your LO will get sick at DC, at any DC. Anywhere young kids congregate, your baby is likely to catch something. It could be a birthday party, church daycare, etc. Whatever they don't catch now, they'll get eventually when they start pre-school or kindergarten.

    You need to have reasonable expectations. Will your baby get fewer illnesses if they are with a nanny instead of daycare? Probably. Will vaccinating your child protect them from any of the cold and flu viruses floating around? No.

    I'm not telling you to accept daycare conditions that make you uncomfortable. However you don't seem like the realities of daycare are something you can accept so perhaps it is better if you consider having someone watch your baby in your home.
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  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    Some of the stuff sounds fishy, but there are a couple of things you need to realize now: 1) If parents kept their kids home from daycare every time they had a runny nose, the daycares would go out of business. Runny noses are a fact of life during the winter in daycare. (The fact that they aren't wiping them as you say would bother me.) Fever, vomiting, and the like are when they want you to keep the baby home. 2) Kids who are learning to walk/pull up/etc. fall down a lot, and sometimes they get knots and bruises. The parent should definitely be informed if there is an injury, but if the baby is responsive and ceases crying it's not an emergency.
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    BC&LM said:
    Idani said:
    Also this was his first day? You went t lunch so he had been there maybe 4 hours? They probably haven't even label his things yet or unpacked it all. You seem very upset about the bib.
    Yes, his first day.  They had already unpacked his things and labeled everything.  And i was upset about the bib.  Oddly enough, I think that's what pissed me off the most!  It almost looked like they only had 1 bib to pass around to all the kids.  I dunno, this is a franchised daycare and the director drives a BMW. Surely, they could afford a pack of new bibs. A 10 pack costs $7 at Wal-Mart.  Anyways, I'm just going to wait a while until my little one gets a little older (he's only 6 weeks now)  He has his first set of shots next week, so that was another concern.  All these boogied babies and my son hadn't even been vaccinated.  I think we'll either try the nanny route or go with another daycare facility later on.  Right now, my boss said it was cool to bring him since all he does is sleep anyway.  
    ---------- You can't get a vaccine for the common cold or a sinus infection which is most likely why the babies' noses were runny. So if you never want your baby to catch anything, you should just get a nanny. I would start looking now, as the sleeping all the time thing will wear off very soon.
    Good point.  Just worried I guess b/c he's so little.  
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  • ILoveRunningILoveRunning member
    I agree with the other posters but I also feel for you OP. I remember my DS's firth day and felt similarly about the booger situation (it was January so cold season was at its peak). Little did I know that my son would soon become a snotty slime ball himself. your kid is going to encounter that whether it is at daycare, preschool or in kindergarten. The only difference is that by kindergarten, they are able to wipe themselves.

    Regarding the bibs. As long as they are being washed, no harm, no foul. I would actually be thankful since you won't have to lug home dirty bibs every day (and they get particularly nasty once you introduce solids).

    The bump. Most places I know require a call for any injury above the neck. I highly doubt that you were completely aware of the happenings. However, it is easy enough to enquire. See what their policy is and then mention what you observed. It is possible the teachers were being irresponsible. More likely you didn't see/hear all.

    Finally, regarding the number of kids. Are they keeping ratio? Were they older toddlers visiting from another room? Ask if you have concerns.

    Bottom line, you are being overly dramatic about some things but others may be cause for concern. Rather than making assumptions you should speak up and ask. It will make you better informed so you can make a good decision.
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  • Tracymunoz8Tracymunoz8 member
    Putting your child in someone else's care is super stressful, I never thought it would be as hard as it is. However, at the end of the day, if your child is being cared for, loved, given attention, and is safe is what matters most.  No one will ever care for your child like you do. 

    But if you aren't comfortable, use your gut instincts and remove your child. Don't ignore what your gut is telling you. But make sure you are making a rational decision. 

    But if I may be frank for a moment, if you are upset about a dirty bib and that they aren't using what you brought, take a step back and asses the situation. Is your child being cared for properly? Do you feel your kid is in any danger or being mistreated? Accidents happen and children get hurt. and while you never want your child to get hurt there will be a day when he bonks his head- unless of course you are going to put your child in a bubble. Boogers do not mean a child is sick, ya it's gross but there are more important things to tend to than making sure every child has a clean nose. and of course you don't let your child have a boogers running down his face while you are at home, but you also only have one child (or maybe 2?!) the daycare has probably 10 children, boogers are the last thing they worry about. Making sure the children are fed, dry diapers and are tended too are their top priorities. 

    Sit down with the daycare director and talk to them about your concerns, ask they why they require you to bring items and then they aren't using them. Speak to them about what you witnessed and how it made you feel. Maybe they can give you valid explanations to what you saw or witnessed. Or maybe their answers won't make you feel better but you never know until you address the situation with the apropriate people.

    good luck!




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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    MrsMuq said:
    OP, you clearly need a nanny and not a DCP. That being said, I feel really badly for your future nanny.

    You kind of sound like a nutball.
    you have no idea!  Hey, I just know what I like and what I expect!  Like I said before, I think i'm being overly cautious b/c he's a little guy.  
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    melOHdy said:
    re: Bibs - my daughter has had the same 2 bibs in her diaper bag, unused, for a month now.  Our DCP prefers snap bibs and we have primarily velcro so she uses her own.  It is no big deal! It's a bib! It's going to get snot and drool and spit up all over it.  I would prefer they have laundry at the end of the day than me.

    re: Bumps - the teachers may have assessed the bump as harmless in the moment (and/or decided to watch the little guy if he didn't seem too terribly upset) and put it in his notes for when the parent picks them up.

    re: Boogers - I second what everyone has said about the sniffles and snot.  I have learned that that is just the way of daycare.  One kid gets something and they pass it around.  I personally don't have the luxury of taking off work whenever my kid has a sniffly nose. 

    re: Number o' Babies - if they are over ration then I think that is cause for concern.  If it is just more babies than you expected, that is a weird thing to get mad about.  If you want your baby to have one-on-one attention you should have gone with a nanny from the start. 


    My take is that you weren't comfortable putting your little one in daycare to begin with and so every little thing you saw was a red flag.  
    Probably so.  Guess daycare is not for me or my little one.
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    elmoali said:
    I think people here are just trying to give you perspective that you really only gain with experience.  You've gotten a lot of good advice.  You know what you like, fine, but there are facts of daycare life that you can't avoid so you WILL need to adapt.  Sure, you could use a nanny but that's not without its own challenges (such as having a single provider so if that person is sick/has an appointment, you too are home, etc.)  We've all been here but it's very easy to be short sighted with you're in the thick of new-momness.  When you start feeding your kid squash and realize that every goddamn thing it touches turns permanently orange, you will rethink how necessary it is to replace stained bibs.  There are things you want that aren't feasible, like wanting your kid to not get sick and things that are irrational, like thinking vaccines will save your kid from booger diseases.

    Don't look at things as "settling" but "adapting" because that's key as a parent.  Not everything is going to be the way you'd have in a dream world but you learn to pick your battles and relinquish some control.
    You're right, but I can damn well try!
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  • Calla123Calla123 member
    Just sort of popping in here while I wait for baby #2 to be born, but I wanted to say that you know what your gut is telling you. None of us were there, and if you got a bad feeling then I think you are doing the right thing. We can only do what we think is best for our kiddos. Good luck!
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    shaunessa said:


    elmoali said:

    I think people here are just trying to give you perspective that you really only gain with experience.  You've gotten a lot of good advice.  You know what you like, fine, but there are facts of daycare life that you can't avoid so you WILL need to adapt.  Sure, you could use a nanny but that's not without its own challenges (such as having a single provider so if that person is sick/has an appointment, you too are home, etc.)  We've all been here but it's very easy to be short sighted with you're in the thick of new-momness.  When you start feeding your kid squash and realize that every goddamn thing it touches turns permanently orange, you will rethink how necessary it is to replace stained bibs.  There are things you want that aren't feasible, like wanting your kid to not get sick and things that are irrational, like thinking vaccines will save your kid from booger diseases.

    Don't look at things as "settling" but "adapting" because that's key as a parent.  Not everything is going to be the way you'd have in a dream world but you learn to pick your battles and relinquish some control.

    You're right, but I can damn well try!
    Sure you can but I'll tell you now that if you keep chasing an impossible goal you will never allow yourself to get comfortable with daycare.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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