Yes, you are made with rolled oats. Yes, you are delicious. And yes, you *may* "help" with milk supply, but that does not mean that you should be consumed 10 at a time. Even with a cold glass of milk.
I know your home 'sick' but it doesn't mean you are on your death bed. On my 'sick days' I still have to take care of LO, the house and animals. Your 'sick' because you nearly took off your finger being stupid, your not contagious! Watching LO is not going to prolong your healing. Pissing me off will. Don't act like you can't watch LO so I can get my choirs done in half the time it takes with her.
Thank you so so much for sleeping for 6.5 hours straight last night. Mommy feels like a new woman...which is a good thing since you are now boycotting any and all naps.
Sincerely,
Your well rested, yet slightly annoyed, mom
Dear Mother nature,
Stop PMSing and doing weird things to my weather. Several inches of snow yesterday...55 and beautiful blue skies today. I can't figure you out!
For the love of god, figure out why I can't change my siggy. I have emailed and contacted everyone I can think of and its still old. I look like a lazy lurker who doesn't know how to change my tickers and I can't participated in any siggy challenges.
Dear changing table & nursery light fixture, Thank you for calming and holding the attention of LO for almost 30 minutes last night. It was a nice break from the banshee screaming we had earlier. Sincerely, Endofherrope.
Dear moby wrap, I love you. Kisses, Baby wearing covert
Dear admin team member, You suck, and I'm really happy my boss let me know your eval is due while I'm on leave so I have a chance to weigh in on how much you suck. Tired of cleaning up after your mistakes, More qualified to do your job
Suzy & Brian November 3, 2007 "...this one time, at band camp..." ;-)
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14
My Wedding Bio from back in the day
Do NOT even think about complaining about being tired since you were SNORING so loud it sounded like your tonsils were slapping around in your throat like a wet fish on a pier. Bleh. I can't believe you did not wake up LO with all that racket.
Please stop waking up right after your brother falls asleep and then cry when I ask you to go back to bed..
Sincerely your very tired mommy
Dear DS2,
I'm so happy your are smiling and cooing but can you please stop unlatching while you nurse? I really do love your smiles and "talking" but it's not polite to do them with your mouth full.
dear brain, just because LO's left leg hangs differently than her right leg out of the Ergo doesn't mean you need to obsessively stalk google. nothing is wrong, it's just the way she's holding her leg. love, crazy first time mama ps- am I right?? do your LO's legs hang the same way??
dear lady who's subbing for me, why are you going to my principal and saying you don't agree with the placement of my kids for next year?? THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB. I hope you felt like a real idiot when he told you it wasn't happening. I strongly dislike you. sincerely, the girl who can't stop thinking mean thoughts about you.
For the love of god, figure out why I can't change my siggy. I have emailed and contacted everyone I can think of and its still old. I look like a lazy lurker who doesn't know how to change my tickers and I can't participated in any siggy challenges.
Signed,
Seriously annoyed
I second this. I most certainly am not 45 weeks pregnant and have tried everything to change my ticker. I give up.
I'm sorry we bathed you at the feed before bed, but not only did you smell like rotten milk, you keep galling asleep during the last feed and then waking me up at stupid o'clock. We did it to keep you awake long enough to finish the last feed....now GO to sleep!!! The last feed was an hour ago - you should be comatose, not hiving daddy ear ache with your screeching!
You have a full belly, a clean diaper and have been burped for the past hour - it is bed time NOW
Love Mummy - the idiot who's idea it was to bathe you
Thank you for making me get a hair appointment. It's been since October and I'm looking forward to feeling pretty!! I guess I mean more thank you for not letting me abandon myself in the name of "new mom."
Much love,
I look like a ragamuffin with 3-toned hair
I've been trying very hard to spend time with you, but your little brother requires a lot of my attention. I'm really sorry. I promise that you'll have at least some of your mommy back soon, and I hope you don't hate me.
Re: Open Letter Tuesday
I don't know who loves you more, me or DS. But seriously, thank you so much for existing.
I feel so bad that you're sick, but mommy is also sick. Can't we just have some cuddle and nap time?!
Love,
One exhausted momma.
Please clear up so I can get to my OB appointment. I'm nervous enough without you prolonging the agony.
Sincerely,
Don't like being in park on the highway
I know your home 'sick' but it doesn't mean you are on your death bed. On my 'sick days' I still have to take care of LO, the house and animals. Your 'sick' because you nearly took off your finger being stupid, your not contagious! Watching LO is not going to prolong your healing. Pissing me off will. Don't act like you can't watch LO so I can get my choirs done in half the time it takes with her.
Sincerely,
Not your nurse maid of a wife
Dear LO,
Thank you so so much for sleeping for 6.5 hours straight last night. Mommy feels like a new woman...which is a good thing since you are now boycotting any and all naps.
Sincerely,
Your well rested, yet slightly annoyed, mom
Dear Mother nature,
Stop PMSing and doing weird things to my weather. Several inches of snow yesterday...55 and beautiful blue skies today. I can't figure you out!
Thanks,
Mommy who wants to take her kids for walks.
Oh one more...
Dear bump gods,
For the love of god, figure out why I can't change my siggy. I have emailed and contacted everyone I can think of and its still old. I look like a lazy lurker who doesn't know how to change my tickers and I can't participated in any siggy challenges.
Signed,
Seriously annoyed
Thank you for existing. You are brilliant. I'll happily change your batteries if you provide me with a couple extra hours of sleep.
Love,
Mama who loves sleeping
Thank you for calming and holding the attention of LO for almost 30 minutes last night. It was a nice break from the banshee screaming we had earlier.
Sincerely, Endofherrope.
I love you.
Kisses,
Baby wearing covert
Dear admin team member,
You suck, and I'm really happy my boss let me know your eval is due while I'm on leave so I have a chance to weigh in on how much you suck.
Tired of cleaning up after your mistakes,
More qualified to do your job
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14 My Wedding Bio from back in the day
No need to fight sleep. All the fun stuff will still be here when you wake up.
Love,
Your mom who has a few things to do
Dear DH,
Do NOT even think about complaining about being tired since you were SNORING so loud it sounded like your tonsils were slapping around in your throat like a wet fish on a pier. Bleh. I can't believe you did not wake up LO with all that racket.
Love
Your Sleepless Wife
Please stop waking up right after your brother falls asleep and then cry when I ask you to go back to bed..
Sincerely
your very tired mommy
Dear DS2,
I'm so happy your are smiling and cooing but can you please stop unlatching while you nurse? I really do love your smiles and "talking" but it's not polite to do them with your mouth full.
Sincerely,
Hurting nipples
YOU SUCK! Leave my baby alone! I am praying the antibiotics wipe you out quickly and completely.
Lots of hate,
A worried Momma
Why so sweaty? I'm changing socks three times a day and it's gross .
I don't want to stink and you're not helping.
just because LO's left leg hangs differently than her right leg out of the Ergo doesn't mean you need to obsessively stalk google. nothing is wrong, it's just the way she's holding her leg.
love,
crazy first time mama
ps- am I right?? do your LO's legs hang the same way??
dear lady who's subbing for me,
why are you going to my principal and saying you don't agree with the placement of my kids for next year?? THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB. I hope you felt like a real idiot when he told you it wasn't happening. I strongly dislike you.
sincerely,
the girl who can't stop thinking mean thoughts about you.
Why are you addicting?
Love,
I have shit to do
PS: Gus' face tho! 8-X
Ethan Michael - 12/21/09
Norah Jewel - 2/26/14
I'm sorry we bathed you at the feed before bed, but not only did you smell like rotten milk, you keep galling asleep during the last feed and then waking me up at stupid o'clock. We did it to keep you awake long enough to finish the last feed....now GO to sleep!!! The last feed was an hour ago - you should be comatose, not hiving daddy ear ache with your screeching!
You have a full belly, a clean diaper and have been burped for the past hour - it is bed time NOW
Love Mummy - the idiot who's idea it was to bathe you
I've been trying very hard to spend time with you, but your little brother requires a lot of my attention. I'm really sorry. I promise that you'll have at least some of your mommy back soon, and I hope you don't hate me.
Love,
Your thin-spread mommy