Independent spirit babies

hungryhippo · April 2014

Anybody else have a highly independent and high energy baby? DS is 6.5 months old and already crawling, pulling up on things and even just barely starting to cruise a little bit. I describe him as high energy, very self motivated, and highly independent. His independence is evident when he eats. He will take a spoonful of food about twice before insisting he hold it himself. We help him dip it in the puree and then he does all other feeding (mostly making a mess, but occasionally finding his mouth) himself. He also loves big chunks of food to gnaw on BLW style.

None of this is a "problem" for us. As his parents we encourage him, keep up with him, stay very close to help him stay safe while he's moving around, and let him explore. We are trying to help him learn the scenarios when he's more likely to fall from standing and help him learn when he's close to a wall or other hard object where he could bonk his head. I don't think we are doing anything extreme here. I also know the DH was described to be exactly the same way as a baby. I guess, I think DS is just being who he is and I don't have any notion or inclination to try to change these things about him.

The "problem" comes in when talking to one of the main providers at his daycare center. Two days in a row she has now made comments about him needing some time to be still. It was along the lines of "It probably wouldn't be a bad idea for DS to learn how to sit down calmly." I'm reading between the lines here, but I don't think she's so much thinking about what DS needs, but maybe more about what she wants him to do. I think it is her tone that lends me to think she views his behavior as problematic.

Has anyone else dealt with this or have any advice/perspective to offer?

km_md · April 2014

It sounds like you have your hands full in a wonderful way! I'm a FTM, but my mom owns a daycare, so I've been around little kids my entire life, and it's what I'm studying at school. I can't imagine my mom ever saying to a parent something like what your provider said to you. It sounds like he is just being a baby and learning about the world! Some babies are going to be more outgoing than others, just like adults are. I think that at some point, it would be good for him to be able to sit and do things quietly (like when he has to go to school and follow the routines there) but 6 months old really doesn't seem like the time to do this - you don't want to stifle his curiosity about the world! Does he sit still for you to read a book before bed time or things like that?

I could be wrong about this but it is just my opinion. Every child and situation is unique (so it is easier when you actually see the child) but I think that I would just keep doing what you are doing, and brush off her comments unless she turns them into something more.

BootsOrHearts · April 2014

Sounds like normal baby stuff to me. I haven't known any babies who like to sit and ponder the nature of the universe or read a novel or meditate. Even at 4 months, Baby Boots isn't mobile yet but he is always doing something, even if it's just chewing on his hands or batting at a toy or playing with his feet or whatever. I'm a little scared for when he becomes mobile!

hungryhippo · April 2014

Thanks, all for the advice and perspective. I'm so glad to know I'm not way off base here.

@mkc5869 - Great question about provider experience. She is a young person, but she's been at this center for about 6 years and worked at another center previously. She is spending more time than usual with DS right now while others are out on vacation or have left recently. I'm partially wondering if perhaps she and DS just won't ever be each other's favorites and others will be up for handling his energy. I could see how some personalities just aren't suited to this type of child, but hopefully others are.

@km_md - yes, he will totally be still to read a book (or several!) at the end of the day. He doesn't do it everyday, but more often than not he will. I totally agree I don't want to stifle him in the least. I love his curiosity so much!

@dmalone1024 - Aww, a play date would be so nice! I'm definitely going to talk to her a little more about it. So far, our conversations have been in the context of other things like bringing solids for him, so it's been side comments rather than a specific need to talk about his busyness. Like I mentioned to mkc - based on all of your input, I'm wondering if perhaps its just her personality and style not being up for his energy rather than it being a center wide issue.

hungryhippo · April 2014

@bootsorhearts - Sounds like my DS just a couple of months ago. I'm having the time of my life playing with him. :x

stephy1221 · April 2014

Newb here, hope you don't my jumping in. I would be annoyed. A baby learning to sit still is unrealistic. If you said DS was 4yrs old I could see the issue but for petes sake he just learned to sit up at all let alone sitting still.

andrea ri 80 reply that he sits still during naps.

4legsRbest · April 2014

My DS sounds just like your LO He was walking by 10 months and I don't think he has ever sat still. Even getting him to sit still while he eats is a major feat! But, the good thing is that he literally falls into his crib at 8 I love a high energy child because we are a high energy family.

I would be curious as to why she needs him to "sit still". At our daycare, they don't even start a scheduled story time until they are 2. There is always an activity going on (except at nap time). I would honestly ask her if there is a specific task he needs to sit still for and maybe address that (like for us, it is eating - he is really bad about this). If she wants him to sit for a book, then she doesn't understand 6 months old who are learning to move around. I agree with PP that it is probably better for her which is why she is complaining, but I would push very specific circumstances or instances with her so you can address them individually. I know it isn't good for my child to eat and walk arund. I get that, so we are working on it. My line of work doesn't allow for generalizations or anecdotes, so my mind naturally works this way - I have to have specifics to address it.

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Independent spirit babies

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