5 reasons why I might want another baby

gwendarling · April 2014

this article popped up on my feed.
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5029270?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

I want to know what you guys think.

none of them (save for #5, but just a tiny bit) are compelling enough for me to even entertain the thought of another especially in a HCOL urban area like she describes.

PB102012 · April 2014

I am firmly OAD. Although sibling love is wonderful, I don't speak to my sister.... So siblings aren't always as close unfortunately.

KatieB19 · April 2014

I think it's funny how #2 is "For the bragging rights" and #3 is "Because it keeps you humble." Ummm.... lol

I'm too far off of the fence at the moment for any of those reasons to sway me. #5 does sound sweet, but I can't say I've experienced it to know what I'm missing. I mean, I'm sure I've had to have seen some of my friends' kids being sweet to each other, but it never tugged on my heartstrings or anything.

gwendarling · April 2014

after re-reading it, I take it back - they're not compelling and the article kind of pisses me off - pass/agg words of a martyr mom of 2+ kids (ex. mom of one: rock star; mom of two: stadium-headlining rock star. nope. just mom of 2+).

Chapter79 · April 2014

Ummm.. I have plenty bragging rights as a OAD mama. I still had and have a kid. You're not more special because you have 2+ - that's just bullshit. And when you think of it, having ONE can be a lot more difficult at certain times. When moms of more kids are able to shove some siblings to each other to play, *I* had to play with my kid. I often think OAD parents and kids have a super sensational bond because of the one on one time. I'm superwoman, dammit.

The only "OK" one is the last one. NOT a reason to have more for me, but can be true. I'm very close to my brothers and I'm glad I have them. We weren't as close growing up, though, as our ages were very spread out (6 years for each of us- I was 6 when my brother was born, and I was 12 for the other).. but now, as adults, we are very close. But I know plenty of siblings that aren't.

Chapter79 · April 2014

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

1. Very stupid reasoning. As for myself, we did get it right. DS's birth might have been traumatic & not what we expected at all but he is the best. We've got it made with him so unlike her, we struck gold with the first kid, no need to strike again.

2. Wth? I personally think moms of onlies are the biggest rockstars. We actually have to parent more often. The kids don't just run off with each other & mess around together. We have to make sure either a) we're playing/entertaining them or b) they have the essentials that help them play/entertain themselves. &+also, I think we have more bragging rights... more sleep, more time together as a couple once LO goes down for a nap, more vacations/activities, less headaches... I always say I got an inkling there's a lot of envy on my FB towards us.

3. Another stupid reason. That's your problem your first AND second didn't humble you enough. Our lives are engulfed with our son. So much so that we don't want to have another at the simple fact that our attention would be divided. So yeah...

4. Wow, these keep getting stupider. We sold all our baby gear & DS loved each & every piece. Still not convincing. Sorry your kid didn't like all the gadgets you bought. I'm sure he/she is sorry for the inconvenience. -_-

5. Nope, still not convinced. Sibling relationships are not guaranteed. Sure, they can be sweet & cuddly when they're younger.. I mean, they do share a house & have to be amongst each other, kwim but from experience, when older... it's 50/50. Definitely not a reason to have another. I have enough of moms of 2+ on FB & our families, in which we don't envy their situation at all. For every 5 minutes of peace, there's hours of arguments, fights, & headaches afterwards.

All in all, no thank you.

I liiiiiike you.

legalbeagle1 · April 2014

Reason #2 is so vomit-inducing and obnoxious and so fucking New York. So many women here have additional kids as status symbols because of how expensive it is instead of actually wanting to be a parent. I also want to know what she and her husband do, whether her kids attend private school ($40k each), a nanny (another $40k a year) or does a family member help, do they have a car, etc. My husband and I both make good salaries and if we want to take vacations, save for retirement and everything else two would be a real struggle.

hopefulmom81 · April 2014

KatieB19 said:

I think it's funny how #2 is "For the bragging rights" and #3 is "Because it keeps you humble." Ummm.... lol

I'm too far off of the fence at the moment for any of those reasons to sway me. #5 does sound sweet, but I can't say I've experienced it to know what I'm missing. I mean, I'm sure I've had to have seen some of my friends' kids being sweet to each other, but it never tugged on my heartstrings or anything.

I totally agree. It sounds sweet, but "meh".

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

I am confused by the purpose of the article.

Is she trying to convince other people to have more than one child? Is she trying to "justify" her decision to have more than one child?

The whole thing is weird. Some people have one child. Some people have more than one child. Some people have no children. Why the controversy?

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

YellowWallpaper12 said:

I have yet to hear a good reason to have additional children (whether it be 2 or more) other than "I want to." Just like I don't need any reason to not have more other than "I don't want to."

Totally agree.

If someone said to me they had 2 (or more children) because they "wanted to", that's enough justification for me.

pdh2008 · April 2014

I'm still firmly straddling the fence about having another, but these reasons are crap.

gwendarling · April 2014

YellowWallpaper12 said:

I have yet to hear a good reason to have additional children (whether it be 2 or more) other than "I want to." Just like I don't need any reason to not have more other than "I don't want to."

YES. CO-SIGN, HIGH-FIVE, all of it.

TiffanyBerry · April 2014

Those are 5 pretty awful reasons to have another kid.

I'm with @YellowWallpaper12 in "the best good reason is because you want to".

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