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March 2014 Moms
pattipants
member
About to lose my mind. DS is a fussy mofo :(
pattipants
member
I haven't been on here since my son was born 5.5 weeks ago because,
well, I've been a bit blue, and I've been burying my head in the sand 
I'm hoping that some of you can relate to
this, and, more importantly, I hope that anyone who's experienced this
will tell me that it gets better! Sorry if this is a bit long...
We started off with problems breastfeeding. DS had a tongue and lip tie, which we fixed on day 4. However, it didn't do much -- he's always been a super lazy eater. I've tried everything in the past month and a half (and worked with several different lactation consultants), but ultimately now I'm stuck exclusively pumping and feeding DS by bottle. I had hoped to be one of those women who breastfeed for, like, two years, but I don't think it's in the cards. It's been a process, but I think I'm becoming ok with the thought of pumping when I can when I return to work in May, and likely needing to supplement with some formula mixed in with my pumped milk at that point. Whatevs. DS is gaining weight well, and he doesn't appear to have issues with my breast milk (like reflux, silent reflux, etc), so I feel thankful for that.
The problem for the past few weeks has been DS's fussiness. Holy shit. WHY does no one admit to having a fussy baby? And why does no one talk about how AWFUL it is?! At about 2.5 weeks old, DS turned into a terror. So damn particular and touchy! He became quite alert early on (during his newborn pics at 2 weeks old he was wide awake and following the photographer with his eyes the entire time), so I wonder if he's also overstimulated, which adds to his fussiness. He doesn't like to nap much during the day, despite our best efforts. Thankfully, he sleeps fairly well at night. But beginning in the afternoon and through the evening, he's just a fussy mofo. It is miserable. I asked our ped about colic, but he doesn't like to use that label unless things are really bad. (Like, for example, a baby who is up crying all through the night, which our son doesn't do.) Our ped said this is likely a fussy phase, which can begin usually around weeks 3-4. I've heard that things get better by week 12, but of course 1) I wonder if our baby is some freak who will ALWAYS be this way, and 2) I have no idea how I will survive this for another 6-ish weeks.
My mom came to stay with us for 2 weeks and just left on Saturday. (My parents live 1,300 miles away, and we don't have any other family here either.) It was amazing having my mom here to help with DS, especially during the day when DH is at work -- I'm pumping throughout the day so we can feed DS and to keep up my supply. But now with my mom gone I'm alone during the day, and it's so damn difficult to pump when I have a finicky baby who doesn't want to nap, who is only happy when he's held, etc.
I feel like I can't even take my baby out in public, because he's so easily irritated and unpredictable, even during the day (before he gets even fussier at night). I feel so alone. I feel like I'm a horrible mom because my baby cries and I can't always fix it (on top of my huge feelings of failure with breastfeeding). I feel like I'll never be able to take my son out in public. And worst of all, I am having a hard time feeling head-over-heels in love with him. I have been looking forward to the moment when he smiles at me (which supposedly should happen in the next week), but now I'm worried that my son won't smile at me because he's too fussy, and because he hates me. (Obviously.)
I pray that there is an end to this fussiness. Any STMs who've gone through this before, please reassure me that there is a light at the end of this tunnel!
I'm hoping that some of you can relate to
this, and, more importantly, I hope that anyone who's experienced this
will tell me that it gets better! Sorry if this is a bit long...We started off with problems breastfeeding. DS had a tongue and lip tie, which we fixed on day 4. However, it didn't do much -- he's always been a super lazy eater. I've tried everything in the past month and a half (and worked with several different lactation consultants), but ultimately now I'm stuck exclusively pumping and feeding DS by bottle. I had hoped to be one of those women who breastfeed for, like, two years, but I don't think it's in the cards. It's been a process, but I think I'm becoming ok with the thought of pumping when I can when I return to work in May, and likely needing to supplement with some formula mixed in with my pumped milk at that point. Whatevs. DS is gaining weight well, and he doesn't appear to have issues with my breast milk (like reflux, silent reflux, etc), so I feel thankful for that.
The problem for the past few weeks has been DS's fussiness. Holy shit. WHY does no one admit to having a fussy baby? And why does no one talk about how AWFUL it is?! At about 2.5 weeks old, DS turned into a terror. So damn particular and touchy! He became quite alert early on (during his newborn pics at 2 weeks old he was wide awake and following the photographer with his eyes the entire time), so I wonder if he's also overstimulated, which adds to his fussiness. He doesn't like to nap much during the day, despite our best efforts. Thankfully, he sleeps fairly well at night. But beginning in the afternoon and through the evening, he's just a fussy mofo. It is miserable. I asked our ped about colic, but he doesn't like to use that label unless things are really bad. (Like, for example, a baby who is up crying all through the night, which our son doesn't do.) Our ped said this is likely a fussy phase, which can begin usually around weeks 3-4. I've heard that things get better by week 12, but of course 1) I wonder if our baby is some freak who will ALWAYS be this way, and 2) I have no idea how I will survive this for another 6-ish weeks.
My mom came to stay with us for 2 weeks and just left on Saturday. (My parents live 1,300 miles away, and we don't have any other family here either.) It was amazing having my mom here to help with DS, especially during the day when DH is at work -- I'm pumping throughout the day so we can feed DS and to keep up my supply. But now with my mom gone I'm alone during the day, and it's so damn difficult to pump when I have a finicky baby who doesn't want to nap, who is only happy when he's held, etc.
I feel like I can't even take my baby out in public, because he's so easily irritated and unpredictable, even during the day (before he gets even fussier at night). I feel so alone. I feel like I'm a horrible mom because my baby cries and I can't always fix it (on top of my huge feelings of failure with breastfeeding). I feel like I'll never be able to take my son out in public. And worst of all, I am having a hard time feeling head-over-heels in love with him. I have been looking forward to the moment when he smiles at me (which supposedly should happen in the next week), but now I'm worried that my son won't smile at me because he's too fussy, and because he hates me. (Obviously.)
I pray that there is an end to this fussiness. Any STMs who've gone through this before, please reassure me that there is a light at the end of this tunnel!
Unplanned pregnancy July 2005; EDD 3/27/06; birthdaughter born 3/15/06 (38w2d) (placed for adoption).
TTC since December 2012, BFP 6/25/13. EDD 3/2/14. Baby Elias born 2/21/14 (38w5d)!
TTC since December 2012, BFP 6/25/13. EDD 3/2/14. Baby Elias born 2/21/14 (38w5d)!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: About to lose my mind. DS is a fussy mofo :(
Do you do any babywearing? When DS is super fussy I strip him down to his diaper and take my shirt off and wear him around. Not super sexy, but it seems to help.
TTC since December 2012, BFP 6/25/13. EDD 3/2/14. Baby Elias born 2/21/14 (38w5d)!
For my son he needed the "sucking" and "noise" the most out of the five to sleep.
Do what you have to do to survive. For me that was walking with her in the morning when she was less fussy, being super honest about my feelings and talking them through with my husband (and honestly, eventually a therapist) and knowing that this too shall pass. It did. It was kind of a nightmare (hearing my baby cry made my skin crawl!) but we did it.
My sweet DD2 is now a determined, super smart, hilarious 19 month old. And I have a 4 week old DD3, so the colic didn't scare us off of babies forever! You can do this. And lay off the google - something I read had me scared it would last like a year. That is very uncommon.
I'm glad you posted. No one seems to ever understand why i don't want to go anywhere with LO, but like you said, with him being so unpredictable, it's so hard. I don't want him to have one of his outbursts in public. Ugh.
Emma Rose
Born 3.11.14
8lbs 14oz, 21.5 in
You are not alone. You are a great mommy. You are not a failure when he cries. You will get through this even though it's hard. Before long it will be hard to remember these tough times.
Anyway, you are not at all alone and it is truly no reflection on you as a mom! Some babies are just little crabby things! Try to take lo outside if you are in a nice climate...fresh air can knock them out. Also, it's ok if they cry. Repeat that over and over! If you are pumping, finish pumping. If you are in the bathroom, finish, don't run out! The baby will be just fine! It's so hard to listen to them cry but if you have covered all bases (fed, changed, well rested, no medical issues) and the baby is still crying pour yourself a glass of wine, put on some music LOUD and try to relax knowing that it won't last forever. You may be surprised that the baby calms down too! If not at least enjoy your wine!
Today at my six-week follow-up, I was "diagnosed" with PPD. HOORAY!
TTC since December 2012, BFP 6/25/13. EDD 3/2/14. Baby Elias born 2/21/14 (38w5d)!
I totally thought the law of averages would be on my side and I wouldn't get 2 colicky babies. But at 3 weeks now, sure seems like DD2 is, too. But at least this time I know it's nothing I'm doing wrong and she will grow out of it.
TTC since December 2012, BFP 6/25/13. EDD 3/2/14. Baby Elias born 2/21/14 (38w5d)!
Our pedi said the drops are expensive, but worth their weight in gold.