Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Update on me - LONG
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
Nope, no one could agree on what caused it. At first I thought it was due to a trip I took (12 hr car ride & high altitude) but it doesn't make sense why my body wouldn't get rid of the fluid once back home. At my previous prenatal visits the labs testing my nutrition were fine and at the end of February my thyroid levels were perfect. It's like my body just freaked out and couldn't get itself back on track!
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
Jan-March '13 3 IUIs Clomid + Trigger = BFN
He's Here! Arrived 4/15/14!!!!
September 2015 - FET with remaining embryos
Twins! EDD: 6/14/15
PAIF/SAIF Everyone welcome!
First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN
Switching RE
IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH!
BFN
Switching RE's within practice
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************

Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
Me: 06/12 Dx w/ IR PCOS (rx 2000 metformin) DH: SA all clear; looking good
06/12-10/12- Clomid/Femara + trigger + TI + P4 = 3 BFNs, hysteroscopy, polypectomy, D&C
11/12 - 7.5 mg Femara + trigger + IUI + P4 = BFN
12/12 - Surprise BFP ectopic (MTX 01/13)
04/13 - Off the Bench! 7.5 mg Femara + trigger + IUI #2 + estradiol + P4 = BFN
05/13 Clear HSG-5 mg Femara + Menopur + trigger + IUI #3 + P4 = BFP ectopic (MTX 07/03 & 07/11)
07/23 emergency lap to remove ectopic mass and left tube
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Me: 42. DH: 46.
1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.
2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.
3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.
4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.
5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.
Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN. After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.
August 16, 2013: BFP our first month of "not trying!" Still in shock. Beta #1 (14dpo): 183. Beta #2 (17dpo): 611. Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm!
Ultrasound 9/13/13: 8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
Baby is due 4/26/14
Me: 33, HSG & b/w normal; partial septate uterus DH: 33, SA good but low morphology (3%)
Started trying to make a baby Apr'12 Aug'13 DX: Unexplained Infertility
Sept'13: 50mg Clomid + IUI #1 (13m + 11m post wash) CDs 11&12 + 200mg progesterone 3x daily = BFP! Beta 16dpIUI = 391 EDD 6.14.14 Delivered 6.13.14
Waited a long time, tried a lot of stuff, science made me a mom.
TTC summer 2008
Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
Mental health break for 10 months
IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
7 fertilized transferred 3
Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl!
TTC#2 No birth control since DD was born. Getting ready to jump back in the saddle. Weaning this month. RE
appt scheduled 5/8. Here we go again!
11/13 beta #1 924!!! 2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430. First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
6 rounds of clomid = no luck
IVF w/ ICSI & AZH #1 - Jan/2011 = ET cancelled OHSS
FET #1 & #2 - March/2011 & June/2011 = Chemical Preg.
IVF w/ Half ICSI #2 New RE - May/2012 = BFN!
May '12 - Sep '13 - Took A Break
Dec '13 IVF w/ Half ICSI #3!!!!! Switched RE
Protocol - Lupron trigger/Follistim/Ganirelix/Estrace/Vivelle/Crinone
6/27/14 - Emergency C/S @ 30w2d - Baby A 2lb 14oz, Baby B 2lb 11 oz
Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p, New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS 4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!!