Trying to find where I fit in

xladybassx · March 2014

Hello ladies! After a long bump break I am trying to find which board/s is/are the best fit for me. I was active on TTC, TTTC, and PAIF before my baby girls were born on 11/12/2013. We tried for 2 years which included medicated cycles, IUI's, and finally IVF. Lucky for us the first IVF attempt was successful! I had a complicated pregnancy and ended up on hospital bed rest for a month before going into preterm labor. My girls were micro preemies born at 27 weeks 6 days. Lorelei was 1 pound 8 ounces, 11.75 inches and stayed in the NICU for 62 days. Amelia was 1 pound 12 ounces, 13.25 inches and stayed in the NICU for 67 days. They are both doing amazing! Currently the only medical issues we are facing are inguinal hernias (both girls), crazy reflux (both girls) and poor weight gain (Amelia). I am adjusting to being a SAHM (was a teacher before the babies). Currently we are living at Fort Benning in Georgia, but we will be moving to Fort Lewis in Washington very soon. Besides trying to be the best mom I can be my interests include: music (I am a professional musician), sewing, knitting, cooking, fantasy gaming, and science fiction. In addition to my human babies I have two fur babies, Luke (a stripy orange cat and leader of the Rebellion), and Vader (a fluffy black cat and Lord of the Sith). So ladies, what do you think...will you have me?

Pips09 · March 2014

All preemie parents welcome!

KTZ17 · March 2014

Welcome!! So glad to hear your girls are doing well! What beautiful names! The ladies on this board are very supportive. I'm a teacher too (high school ESL), but a SAHM till September. What did you teach?

rcnavywife · March 2014

I remember you from PAIF! Glad your girls are doing well. My trio were born at 27+2. We took two home after 77 days. Our one DS is still in the NICU, hopefully coming home in another couple of weeks! Welcome to the board!

MinaE01 · March 2014

Of course you are welcome! Congratulations on the birth of your little girls. DS also dealt with terrible reflux and slow weight gain. I'm a teacher, too! I wish I could SAH. We keep hoping for a lucky lottery win so that can happen.

I hope your little ladies continue to thrive!

xladybassx · March 2014

Woohoo! I'm glad this seems like a good fit for me!

@KTZ17, I was a music teacher before the girls. I have taught middle school and high school orchestra, band, and elementary general music.

@bostonkisses2, awesome! What do you play/sing? I am a double bassist.

AmandaFaith · March 2014

Of course!!

Welcome and congratulations on your relatively healthy preemies! I have preemie twins (boy/girl) conceived via IVF also. Cali and Camden arrived 01/29/2014 at 25+0. We are currently 54 days into our NICU stay, which we anticipate will be about 4 months total. From one preemie MoM to another, how did you handle bringing one twin home before the other? It is something DH and I are currently trying to prepare ourselves for.

LaciJaxx · March 2014

Absolutely!!!! Welcome. Glad to hear your babies are doing well. How do you like Benning? When do you PCS? We are at Leavenworth. Just got here in Jan but only here until mid-December. My oldest nephew graduated basic and AIT last December from Benning and my sister's youngest heads there in May.

xladybassx · March 2014

AmandaFaith said:

Of course!! Welcome and congratulations on your relatively healthy preemies! I have preemie twins (boy/girl) conceived via IVF also. Cali and Camden arrived 01/29/2014 at 25+0. We are currently 54 days into our NICU stay, which we anticipate will be about 4 months total. From one preemie MoM to another, how did you handle bringing one twin home before the other? It is something DH and I are currently trying to prepare ourselves for.

I would say there are two sides of this issue: handling it emotionally and handling it logistically. Emotionally, the hardest part was walking out of the NICU with Lorelei and leaving Amelia behind. It was such a cruel mix of feelings. I was so excited to bring Lorelei home, overjoyed that she was healthy, terrified that I would not be able to take care of her, proud because it finally felt real that we succeeded in becoming parents after infertility, heartbroken that her sister was not ready to come home, and guilty for feeling happy at all while Amelia was still sick. I am sure you are already familiar with that jumble of emotions, but I personally was not prepared for how strong they would be in that moment. I flip flopped from feeling completely at peace and more happy than I have ever felt in my life to being so overwhelmed with sadness and longing for my other daughter, and there wasn't much in between. When I went back to the NICU to visit Amelia in the 5 days before she came home it was really tough seeing the empty space next to her where Lorelei used to be, because it just made it seem like Amelia was so alone. It felt like our family was split up I wish I could be more encouraging about it, but for me anyway, it was a really hard emotional time. I am thankful that it was only 5 days in our case.

Logistically, my husband and I had to take turns going to the NICU to be with Amelia while one of us was home with Lorelei. It was an adjustment for sure because I was used to spending at least 8 hours a day at the hospital, and that was no longer feasible. I stayed home with Lorelei while my husband was at work and then when he came home I would drive the 30 min to the NICU, stay for an hour, and drive the 30 minutes back. Then my husband would do the same. When he got home we would out Lorelei to bed and we switched off sleeping in the nursery with her. Basically my husband and I just didn't see each other for those 5 days. If you have someone who can stay with the one who comes home first so you and your husband can go to the NICU together that would simplify things. It just wasn't an option for us because our family is 1,000 miles away.

I wish you the best of luck. It isn't easy at all...but at the same time, it is wonderful to have one of your babies at home. The joy when your second comes home and your whole family is together at home where they belong is absolutely incredible.

xladybassx · March 2014

LaciJaxx said:

Absolutely!!!! Welcome. Glad to hear your babies are doing well. How do you like Benning? When do you PCS? We are at Leavenworth. Just got here in Jan but only here until mid-December. My oldest nephew graduated basic and AIT last December from Benning and my sister's youngest heads there in May.

We got here in June of 2013, so it hasn't been a long stay in Georgia. We are technically supposed to be at Fort Lewis before the end of April, but that is getting pushed back because there are still some medical things that have to be cleared up with the girls. Most pressing is the inguinal hernias. We have a consult with the Pediatric surgeon on Friday, and I hope that they will either say the surgery can wait until after we PCS, or schedule it soon so it can just be done with. Optimistically we hope to be moving early to mid May.

Missi576 · March 2014

Welcome! It sounds like you fit in perfectly with a lot of us. I share many of your interests

Amusingly, we've had to schedule in gaming time (computer at the moment) for my husband's sanity through this.

thishappyhouse · March 2014

welcome! Im so glad your girls are doing so well! I love their names! This is a wonderfully supportive group.

I also struggled with infertility before having my daughter and am having an even longer struggle with TTC #2 and understand how that combined with prematurity can really be tough to reconcile.

Drhonor · April 2014

I have a girlfriend who just moved to Ft. Lewis recently. Can I put you guys in touch?

ziggy903 · April 2014

Welcome! I'm in GA too, but up in Alpharetta

I had my boy at 32+2

DrRx · April 2014

Congratulations on the birth of your LOs! My daughter is also an IVF baby, and she came at 26-weeks. I'm so glad that they had relatively short NICU stays and that, although they still have some issues, it isn't anything too major. Welcome to the board!

Trying to find where I fit in

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