Formula feeding

ed16564 · March 2014

Are any of you moms or moms to be planning to formula feed? I know the benefits of breast milk are endless but for personal reasons I'm really considering formula. I feel like I'll be judged into the next century for that decision though.

icaughtfire · March 2014

I formula fed my daughter, she's healthy, smart & happy. To me, that's all that mattered. If someone has a problem with your choice regarding how you plan to feed your kid, tell them to go fuck themselves. I plan to try breastfeeding this time, if I decide it's not for me then we'll go to formula and I could care less what anyone has to say about it. Don't let the opinions of others affect your choices. Do what works for you & your family.

ed16564 · March 2014

@mackenziesmama‌ and @KimmieS1756‌ thanks ladies. I think I'll go into it with an open mind but I'm not a huge fan of having to pump when I go back to work (which will be no later than 8-10 weeks later I'm sure) and I want my husband to be able to help me- I get a little stressy when I'm the sole person who can do something. I feel like those are terribly selfish reasons but well see what happens 8 months is a long way away.

nonoemily · March 2014

Dude, I am a BFing mom, but I really am grossed out by how pushy some pro-BFing people are. Do whatever you want, it ain't nobody's business but your own.

I totally hated pumping. If I was a working mom I might have been less enthusiastic too.

ed16564 · March 2014

@nonoemily‌ I just can't get my head around pumping in an office- I'm in a cubical so I'd have to go into an empty office somewhere which is totally fine and allowed just bothers me. But I'm a very private person.

sunflwra · March 2014

One of the most terrifying things about becoming a mom is that you will be judged for just about every single thing that you do. The sooner you realize that and figure out how to deal with it, the better off you will be. Even better if you can just not give a shit.

If you look at many of us in the 28-35+ age range, we were formula fed- it just wasn't something that was pushed back then. We all turned out just fine Do what works for you and your family.

ed16564 · March 2014

@heatherbee710‌ and @sunflwra thanks ladies.

) yes I was talking to my friend about it she said the things moms get judged for the most are the things their kids never know. Like breast or formula - I have no idea- I just assume formula because of my age. I'm glad for the encouragement I actually expected a lot of moms on here to judge me lol! Seems like breast is best is king on a lot of forums.

carcrashheart · March 2014

I never even considered BF'ing with DS. We will FF #2 as well. It was just how I always imagined our family to be. DH was supportive and after DS was born he was grateful that was the decision. He fed DS for the first time after birth and he really cherished that moment, and I cherished watching it. It worked for us. But yes, I feel judged often and frequently. Or did, when DS was still FF. Nobody said anything but I know a lot of moms that had something said to them. I'm appalled that people, strangers, feel it's ok to outwardly pass judgement. Do whatever is best for you, whatever that may be.

CountryMama1114 · March 2014

I FF. And will probably do it again... I threw around the idea of breast feeding but I do not envy moms who have to pump at work... And that is the biggest reason I'll be formula feeding again.

NickyCicc20 · March 2014

DD was formula fed the entire time and is no different from her friends who were breastfed. Sure, she had some colds and viruses when she was young but she was in daycare and so was everyone else.

I couldn't BF for medical reasons but in the end, it was great knowing that DH could help out, I wasn't tied to DD all the time and I could have some mommy time. Anyone who cared about me was supportive and didn't judge -- at least not to my face

TXSparky · March 2014

I watched my best friend beat herself over not BF'ing. When she finally just accepted it, everyone was so much happier! Happy mom and bonding mean way more to baby than if they are BF or getting formula. Don't let anyone get you down for your choice. There are lots of different ways to be a great mom!

Maelara · March 2014

I couldn't BF so I formula feed DD. I'm not going to lie to you. You get judged, a lot. Not only do you get complete strangers making comments but the looks you get are terrible. I'm glad I'm a strong person because I just glare back and tell people to back off.

It's disgusting how people judge others for feeding their babies. As long as the baby is feed, happy and healthy, then why the negativity? It will never make sense to me. I'm glad the women here seem to be so good about it though!

MalachiteDrake · March 2014

I'm going to try to breastfeed, but I'll be a SAHM with all the benefits that come from not having to have a strict schedule or figure out how to pump at work.

Breast milk is the best, but that doesn't mean that formula is some bad thing. We've gotten good at making formula that's really really close to breast milk and formula kids (of which I'm one!) are just fine. I agree with PP, if someone's being judgy tell them to go fuck themselves. You are the Mom to your LO, not them!

happyfor3 · March 2014

I bf #1 and ff #2. It is a personal choice and to hell with anyone who wants to judge you for it. You do what is best for you.

KatzKiss · March 2014

I felt like the shittiest failure of a mother when I couldn't BF. I tried for two months filled with tears and anxiety. When we switched, I was relaxed and happy. I was able to bond with my son as was my husband. He just turned two and has never been sick a day in his life. I'm all for FF!

heidiliz626 · March 2014

I plan to formula feed. I already got the stink eye from my ob about it and a suggestion to see a lactation specialist... no thanks

meeshybee · March 2014

FF is right for us and we have with all 3 of our kids. I only had one person give me grief about FF'ing and that was my mother. She was going on about how she had never used formula with us and benefit this and benefit that and I just snapped at her one day. She never said another word about it.

And really, unless they are feeding your baby it's none of their business.

mrsodonnell12 · March 2014

I'm a bfing mom and very pro bfing. However, I am so sick of the mommy wars over ff and bf. As long as you are feeding your baby, everyone needs to stfu. Right?

Allisonville · March 2014

mrsodonnell12 said:
I'm a bfing mom and very pro bfing. However, I am so sick of the mommy wars over ff and bf. As long as you are feeding your baby, everyone needs to stfu. Right?

This is literally what I came here to say.

as long as you feed your kid, I won't judge you...or at least not about that. Haha

Seneca0325 · March 2014

I formula feed as well and it's just what works for us! Do what you want and don't feel guilty about it!

melissajam · March 2014

I second what many PPs said. I FF DD because BF didn't work out for us. I was really upset about it at first, but I've come to terms with it now. I'll probably try to BF this LO, but if it doesn't work out too that's okay. Definitely do what's best for your family!

Melissa2216 · March 2014

heatherbee710 said:

I personally chose to BF but supplemented with formula when my DS got older, so as someone who has used both I understand and had your concerns as well. I honestly thought I would only bf till I went back to work because the thought of pumping scared the crap out of me. It ended up not being so bad though and was actually nice to be able to take breaks at work (im a teacher) so I just wanted to offer some encouragement

All of this (and I'm a teacher, too)! I EBF and pumped at work for the first 6 months, then started supplementing with formula b/c my supply had dropped. I continued to pump at work before school and at lunch for the entire school year. It worked out well for me b/c I pumped in my classroom and I have a little refrigerator in there. I totally understand how pumping would be a PITA, though, if you don't have a private space and you have to share a fridge with a bunch of people.

mslynn2012 · March 2014

I BF'd DS till 9 months, then dried up. I HATED pumping for work/MOTN feedings for DH, but I was determined. When we switched to formula I was a new (much happier) woman! Looking back, I think I should have formula fed earlier (for my own sanity).

With this LO I will be SAH, so I'll nurse as long as my body will allow (I think). If I start to hate it (again), I have no qualms about stopping early.

You have to do whatever is best for you and your family!

mb314 · March 2014

I am a big proponent of breastfeeding when it works for your family (I'm still BF-ing my 18 month old). However, there was an interesting study that came out in the last month or so that says that the long-term benefits of breastfeeding are overstated. Most of the earlier breastfeeding studies that showed the benefits compared formula-fed families with breastfeeding families. But when they compared a formula fed child and a breast fed child from the same family, they found that the formula fed child and breast fed child were really no different. Here's an article on the study: https://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/02/sibling-study-finds-no-long-term-breastfeeding-benefits-for-kids

mrsodonnell12 · March 2014

mb314 said:
I am a big proponent of breastfeeding when it works for your family (I'm still BF-ing my 18 month old). However, there was an interesting study that came out in the last month or so that says that the long-term benefits of breastfeeding are overstated. Most of the earlier breastfeeding studies that showed the benefits compared formula-fed families with breastfeeding families. But when they compared a formula fed child and a breast fed child from the same family, they found that the formula fed child and breast fed child were really no different. Here's an article on the study: https://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/02/sibling-study-finds-no-long-term-breastfeeding-benefits-for-kids

This "research" has been debunked.

momtojad · March 2014

I really hope you embrace it and don't feel judged. I kind of cringe when I hear people say they love breastfeeding because there was maybe a couple of months it was really spectacular (I am still BF at 13 months), but I never loved it. Just know that when we make a choice it is what we think is best, so breast is only best unless isn't best for you.

mb314 · March 2014

mrsodonnell12 said:

I am a big proponent of breastfeeding when it works for your family (I'm still BF-ing my 18 month old). However, there was an interesting study that came out in the last month or so that says that the long-term benefits of breastfeeding are overstated. Most of the earlier breastfeeding studies that showed the benefits compared formula-fed families with breastfeeding families. But when they compared a formula fed child and a breast fed child from the same family, they found that the formula fed child and breast fed child were really no different. Here's an article on the study: https://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/02/sibling-study-finds-no-long-term-breastfeeding-benefits-for-kids
This "research" has been debunked.

Interesting. I hadn't seen that. Do you have a link to an article talking about it? Again, I'm a proponent of nursing, but I don't judge those who choose not to for various reasons.

momtojad · March 2014

mb314 said:

mrsodonnell12 said:

I am a big proponent of breastfeeding when it works for your family (I'm still BF-ing my 18 month old). However, there was an interesting study that came out in the last month or so that says that the long-term benefits of breastfeeding are overstated. Most of the earlier breastfeeding studies that showed the benefits compared formula-fed families with breastfeeding families. But when they compared a formula fed child and a breast fed child from the same family, they found that the formula fed child and breast fed child were really no different. Here's an article on the study: https://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/02/sibling-study-finds-no-long-term-breastfeeding-benefits-for-kids
This "research" has been debunked.

Interesting. I hadn't seen that. Do you have a link to an article talking about it? Again, I'm a proponent of nursing, but I don't judge those who choose not to for various reasons.

This gives you a bunch of links that analyze the study so both views are represented https://www.purebirthmama.com/blog/2014/03/04/Debunking-Colens-Sibling-Breastfeeding-Study.aspx

jf198400 · March 2014

I'm a BFing mom, but pumping at work sucks. I put up with it for both kids b/c I loved BFing. But I did supplement with formula b/c I couldn't pump enough. I say give it a try and see how it goes. BFing is one of those things that you can't know what it will be like without actually trying it.

CaneQueen · April 2014

I didn't read all the comments but I would encourage every mom to try breastfeeding even if it is just for the first few months or your maternity leave etc. it's that "fourth trimester" for the baby and it is so worth any of the negative things you may have heard or experienced with a previous child. The right support is key so look up support groups and LCs for the beginning in case you need help.

poca1313 · April 2014

Just wanted to chime in, I tried to bf for a few weeks with my dd and my milk never fully came in. It was the worst, most painful few weeks of my bonding time with my dd. I finally gave up and felt like a complete failure. But I had a lot of support and over time was perfectly fine with it. My dd is now 10 and seriously one of the most healthiest, smartest, outgoing kids you will ever meet and I get told this by more then my family. I plan to try with this one and hear all the support from my docs to do it but seriously if it doesn't work I won't beat myself up over it.

poca1313 · April 2014

Oh and by the way... I'm not in any way bashing bf'ing just simply pointing it out. I knew a girl that did sorta throw it in mine and my other friend's face that she bf'd saying her kid would be smarter and healthier. Unfortunately her dd ended up in the hospital more then once and she needed a tutor in kindergarten because she wasn't learning up to her level. Again not to say either is better but it's not always a guarantee.

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