September 2014 Moms

I feel like an asshole

I just screamed at my kid. I yell on occasion (although I try not to) but this was ragey, legit screaming. He got a bag of potatoes off the counter, I asked him to put them back, and he said, "No thanks, I'm busy. I'm still playing with mashed potatoes". I got up to take them from him and he threw them up in the air. The bag opened and potatoes rained down on both of us, knocked other stuff over, breaking a toy. This is after he fought me on every.single.thing while I tried to get him ready for a nap today, including kicking me in the stomach during a diaper change. So I got in his face and screamed at him and sent him to his room, and now I feel like an jerk who can't control my emotions or parent a child properly.

He's in his room and playing happily, and I'm seriously considering leaving him there until my husband gets home (about 30 - 45 minutes).
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Re: I feel like an asshole

  • ^wss. We are only humans. Sending a hug to you!
                                                                                      
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  • ((hugs)) I've been having a couple of rough mom days too. Tomorrow is a new day
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  • Some days it's so hard to keep your cool.  Don't beat yourself up.  Everyone snaps from time to time.
  • Let him play in his room until your DH gets home, if he's happy and out of your hair, who does it hurt? This period is worse for you than for him. You get to lose patience occasionally as a toddler mom, and the fact that you feel guilty is sign that you are doing the right thing and are a good mom. If you yelled and were like "yes, I have the power, I don't care about your feelings," that is a bad thing. But that's not where you're at. So forgive yourself and take some time for you while he plays in his romm.


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  • I get frustrated with DS a lot, especially when he cries more as a three year old as he ever did as a baby.  I have yelled and got the big tears and everything.  I later balled to DH about it.  I try to go back and apologize for yelling even though he may not understand.  I feel where you are coming from.

    Hang in there, you are only human.  And PP is right it bothers us more they don't hang onto it as long as we do.

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  • We've been having lots of those days. Especially when it comes to bedtime. Hang in there, it won't always be this hard. Hugs.
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    Mom of Boys!!

    Baby #1 - 3 years old
    Baby #2 - Born 10/1/14

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    I just wanted to say you are still a good mom. :) hugs we have all been there a time or two.
  • Thanks ladies! He has ASD and the biggest issues we have are social/emotional and behavior. Today was just a really hard day. Just now, before he went to bed, he told me he wanted to throw his table at me because he was mad at his dad. Sigh. Tomorrow is a new day, though...and right now he's in bed and I'm going to have a large hot fudge sundae.
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  • Don't beat yourself up, any mom who says they haven't experienced this same thing is lying. DD has been having melt downs lately, like satanic possessed episodes, over the most ridiculous things. I have lost my cool several times, and I alway feel bad about it after. But we are humans! You are still a wonderful mom. Hugs to you!
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  • Thanks ladies.  I know you are all struggling with this but as a FTM it's nice to hear this and know it's not the end of the world cause sometimes I question my ability to be a good Mom.  So I just wanted to say thanks for sharing and making this mom to be feel a little better.


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  • ((hugs)) I've been having a couple of rough mom days too. Tomorrow is a new day
    THIS!  I've had to say this to myself several times these last few weeks.. not something I'm proud of.  I actually told MH that I'm unsure now if I want a 4th, because I'm finding it SO hard to keep my patience in check this time around.. I feel like I have little control of my emotions, and one minute I'm fine and the next I'm losing it :(  Hormones are a b*tch.  Hugs to you.. I think many of us have been there!
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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  • My DS is exactly the same age and I also find myself having less patience with him at times. Don't feel bad for giving yourself a little time out and letting him play in his room. It's good for both of you. 
  • I'm so sorry!  I have SO been there with my son!  He's older now and it's not so bad but boy was he CONSTANTLY defiant when he was in diapers and I yelled sometimes.  I always gave him hugs and kisses afterwards to make sure he knew that he was still loved, and I eventually resorted solely to using time-out and taking things away rather than yelling, which worked much better.  It still makes you feel like crap, though, I know.  You're not a bad parent.  You're not cursing, threatening, insulting, or abusing him, so he'll be ok.  Everyone yells at some point.
    Baby Zoey arrives Sep 14 2014!

  • Girl, we have all been yelled at by our Mom's at least once and I'm sure we all turned out ok. ;) It'll be alright. *hug*

     

     

     

     

  • bf43005 said:
    Thanks ladies.  I know you are all struggling with this but as a FTM it's nice to hear this and know it's not the end of the world cause sometimes I question my ability to be a good Mom.  So I just wanted to say thanks for sharing and making this mom to be feel a little better.
    It is REALLY tough! You are doing a great job, these things happen.. and in my opinion, the fact that you feel so bad shows what a great mom you are. A bad mom wouldn't feel that way. I hope today is going better!
  • Dude, I'd be willing to bet that most of us were raised by parents who yelled at us from time to time, but who also made us feel very loved and secure.  Don't sweat it, everyone does it from time to time.  I'm sure lots of snuggles later will make you both feel a lot better!
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    DD1, born 4/10/11 at 32 weeks
    Cooking #2 :)  Due 9/18/2014

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