- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Pregnant after IF
KR250222
member
Letting it sink in...
KR250222
member
I am wandering over here from the IF board to touch base. I had a positive beta of 166.9 on Thursday and today, 13dp5dt, it rose to 1175. I'm shocked and having a really hard time believing this to be true. It just has not sunk in yet even though my doctor and nurse are pleased. It's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop after 2 years of uncertainty. DH and my parents are so excited and I just have no clue why I am so incredibly skeptical and distrustful.
Anyone with this experience when they finally received their BFP? I really wanted this to be a happy, celebratory time but I feel like I'm sabotaging myself by not fully enjoying my good news. Seems like I am ripping myself off a bit. Any advice is welcome!
TTC since 4/12
Me: 32, All clear, DH: 34, low count
IVF /ICSI: 4/18/13~ OHSS~Freeze-all
FET #1 6/28/13 BFN
FET #2 7/29/13 BFN
FET #3 12/16/13 BFN
*NEW RE*
IVF/ICSI #2 3/18/14 BFP, twins m/c 9w4d
IVF/ICSI #3 08/25/14 BFN
FET #4 10/14 BFN
IVF/ICSI #4 1/23/14 BFP Twins!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Letting it sink in...
Second, yes, I know what you mean about being distrusting and skeptical of your own good news. My sister has already been talking about wanting to buy me this or that for the baby. Everyone is treating me like this baby WILL be born and, as much as I want to believe that, I don't want to get my hopes up. I think that's just something we IFers carry with us even after our BFP.
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
When if your first ultrasound? We were super hesitant and not really able to enjoy the positive, until after we saw the heartbeats at 6 weeks. Actually seeing that there was something growing in there (rather than just getting a beta number) made it feel much more real for me. I still find myself having my moments of not actually believing we'll get these babies, but each ultrasound we have quiets that a little bit more.
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
Yes, a positive after IF is hard. I am both paif and pgal so I spent a lot of the early weeks waiting for it to end. I was excited, but cautious. I got a little better after my loss milestones. I did some strange things too - like I celebrated when I had pregnancy symptoms. It was silly, but I honestly didn't know if I would ever get that far.
It does get easier, but I am still "weird" about some things. I had refused to buy anything for the baby until the a/s (which was Saturday)...but today I got the first item which was a big one -a crib. I just didn't want to jinx it.
Try to relax as much as you can. Remember, today you are pregnant and celebrate it!
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
Congrats again!!
DX: Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant
DH: 34
MFI due to Testicular Cancer
Married March 2012
IVF w/ICSI #1
10 little polar bears
FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN
FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
Beta 1= 276
Beta 2= 662
4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
5/3/14 ~ D&C
FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
Fur Children: Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y
January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
Animals Interacting with Snow
I'm having a baby in 6 days and I'm still skeptical and distrustful. IF ruins your brains
Me(26)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & Incompetent Cervix DH(28)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- (Lupron protocol) 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
IVF ICSI #2- (Antagonist protocol) Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - 4/15/13 only possibility of carrying my children to term
IVF#3 - June 2013 - canceled.
IVF ICSI #3.2- (Antagonist Protocol) 7/26 start stims (same day, a year later from J & Z's stim start date!)
9/11/13 - U/S shows 1 baby HR 135bpm! EDD: 4/30/13
It's a BOY!!
2/9/14 - DX Gestational Diabetes
C-section scheduled for 4/7/14 (36w5d)
Colin Joseph - 1:07pm 6lbs 14oz - 8 days in the NICU
Everyone Welcome!
You are not alone- I had the same feelings and I still at times don't believe this is real life and I am 36 weeks. "Waiting for the other shoe to drop" explained where my head was for the first tri (probably most of the second too) perfectly.
Good luck and hopefully as milestones are met, it gets easier to shake off those feelings. I know it did little by little for me.
Jan-March '13 3 IUIs Clomid + Trigger = BFN
He's Here! Arrived 4/15/14!!!!
September 2015 - FET with remaining embryos
Twins! EDD: 6/14/15
PAIF/SAIF Everyone welcome!
Me 28 DH 30
After 4+ years TTC
First, congrats and welcome!
And I agree with the PPs who mentioned milestones. That is how I've kept my sanity through this pregnancy. When I had the first u/s and saw it wasn't ectopic, whew. When we saw the HB for the first time, whew. When we got through all the previous loss milestones, when we saw her wiggling around on u/s for the first time, when we reached the halfway mark, then viability day, and so many other milestones, whew! Each one has helped me relax just a tiny bit more and get a little more excited that this is for real. It's okay to be skeptical at first; I think we all have gone through (or are still going through) that.
Me: 42. DH: 46.
1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.
2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.
3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.
4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.
5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.
Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN. After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.
August 16, 2013: BFP our first month of "not trying!" Still in shock. Beta #1 (14dpo): 183. Beta #2 (17dpo): 611. Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm!
Ultrasound 9/13/13: 8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
Baby is due 4/26/14
Even with pregnancy symptoms and cravings, in the first trimester I still didn't feel like I was pregnant. Like PPs said, it was and still is a gradual process and at each milestone it gets a little better. First ultrasound, heartbeat, tests, etc gave me a small piece of mind that there is a baby growing inside of me. I'm 20 weeks now and sometimes don't believe it still, even though I feel the baby move and we know the sex. I have a feeling it will really hit me when the baby is born!
Hang in there and you are not alone with how you are feeling.
Me: 32, DH: 34 / TTC since February 2011 / SA: all normal, HSG: all clear! / on Lovenox for anticardiolipid antibodies
4 IUIs with Clomid, Letrozole, and Menopur. All BFN.
9/12: lap / hysteroscopy: found and removed mild endometriosis, cervical polyp, and 2 para-tubular cysts
5/13 IVF #1: Follistim, Menopur, Ganirelix, 10R/4M/4F, ET of 2, 5 cell and 4 cell, no frosties = BFN
12/13 IVF #2 = November / December 2013. Microdose Lupron Protocol: 15R/6M/6F, Froze all 6 due to high E2 and P4
FET 1: Jan 22, 2014 of one 4AB blast and one 3BB blast (3 blasts on ice!)
BFP on HPT 4dp5dt, Beta #1 9dp5dt: 310, Beta #2 11dp5dt: 899
First u/s on 2/17/14: TWINS!!!!! both w/HBs of 114 at 6w3d, HBs 150 and 152 at 7w5d
5/27/2014: Team purple!!!! EDD 10/10/2014 /
Baby Boy 4lbs 1oz, 17 inches
Baby Girl 3lbs 5oz, 16 inches
You are not alone with your thoughts, I'm still early on but try to think as a PP mentioned "Today, I am pregnant." But with each check up/milestone it does help ease the anxiety a bit.
Dx: Endometriosis
TTC May 2012
Jan 2014 IUI#1: BFN
Feb 2014 IUI #2: BFP
Beta #1: 403
First u/s: 3/14 It is TWINS!!
EDD: 11/12/2014 ~ Boys x2
~~ All welcomed ~~
For me, I thought I would feel differently after passing my loss milestones. Now it just feels tenuous in an uncharted, I've-never-been-down-this-road-before way.