Lost my baby at 16 weeks

mena06 · March 2011

On Sunday, I lost my baby. He was a perfect looking little boy. I know it has only been a few days but I am a mess and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I was just getting comfortable with the whole pregancy, this was my second, and I knew the risks of miscarriage in the first tri-mester and was nervous the whole time. I never expected this to happen to me. I keep crying and having feelings of sadness and anger. It just doesn't seem fair. I don't know anyone who has gone thru this and I am trying to stay strong in front of my 3 year old but I know he knows something is wrong with mommy. How long will it take for it not to hurt so much? How do I deal with looking at my belly and know that there should be something in there that isn't? How do I get over the anger and jealouse of seeing other pregnant women?

yeliza h · March 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. This board is filled with wonderful women who understand what you are going through. (((hugs)))

hopefulmom81 · March 2011

((HUGE HUG))

I am so sorry for your loss, and you are right--it isn't fair.

prhilton · March 2011

I don't have much advice as my loss was also recent, but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope that your son can be a source of encouragement. I gave up trying to stay strong - whenever I cry my toddler runs over and gives me a kiss. Their compassion is so meaningful.

williams4me · March 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you are having to join us here...but this board serves as a wonderful source of support..and hopefully can start to help you in the way that it has started to for everyone else here.

I don't know how long it takes for the pain to go away, just that it is a very slow process. Just allow yourself the time to grieve your loss...(((hugs)))

lauralew · March 2011

I hate that you have to be here, but I hope you find the support and comfort you need.

Your questions really have no answers. You will find a way to cope, the pain will feel less raw, less intense...it might come and go in waves. But it does get better. Every day you survive is a triumph. Take care of yourself.

andrea3122 · March 2011

lauralew:

I hate that you have to be here, but I hope you find the support and comfort you need.

Your questions really have no answers. You will find a way to cope, the pain will feel less raw, less intense...it might come and go in waves. But it does get better. Every day you survive is a triumph. Take care of yourself.

This is so true. I'm two weeks out from our loss and it is getting better. One day at a time. I'm sorry for your loss but we will all be here to listen.

Gummybear · March 2011

***Ticker warning***

I lost our son too, his heart stopped when he was 16w2d. There was no explanation, he was perfect. All testing came back normal. I also have a three year old so I completely understand trying to be strong for them.

I know how much it hurts, and how raw the pain is. I can tell you that time does make things better. It will never be "the same", but you will come out of this a stronger person, I promise. It takes a long time, longer than you will think, or those around you will expect, but the sun will shine on you again, I promise. My advice is to allow yourself to grieve. Ask for help, ask for companionship, ask for a shoulder to cry on. I sought therapy, and I found great comfort in the TTCAL board here when you are ready). As for you your son, depending on how well he comprehends things, I would be honest with him. We told DD that there was a baby in mommy's belly and he went to heaven. It was horrible, gut-wrenching, the worst part of it at all -- to take the "Big Sister" that she was so excited for away from her, but it allowed me to be sad, and she knew why.

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss.

jkfranklin · March 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that DS has been a real help to me getting through this. I turn myself over to seeing how perfect he is and what a miracle it is to have him. My loss has magnified my love for him.

fondybride · March 2011

I am soooo sorry for your loss. I lost my baby boy 19 days ago at 17w3d.

It still hurts. It hurts a lot. I do not cry as often as I did for the first 10 days, but that does not mean that I am not sad. I am so sad. I want my baby. I want to be 20 weeks this week and I'm not. Instead, I have hope. We pray every day for our baby up in Heaven and I pray that we will have another child sometime. It will not replace the baby we lost, but I have hope that my boys (ages 3 and 5) wil have another sibling.

I am still sick about the fact that nearly 3 weeks later I am still wearing maternity clothes most days. My hands still hurt from where the IVs had to be put in when I delivered my baby and I am still bleeding. UGH! I don't cry anymore when I look in the mirror--but for the first 2 weeks or so I did. I cried everytime because I was not seeing the pregnant woman I was supposed to see.

As far as the anger/jealousy, I don't know what to tell you. I am soooo jealous of my pregnant co-workers/friends. The only thing I think that will help that will be for me to be pregnant again at some point. I don't know though.

I am sooo sorry for your loss. You've found a great supportive network here though.

(HUGS)

somnybooks · March 2011

I don't really have any advice as I am still dealing with the same emotions but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. ((Hugs))

rissa_n · March 2011

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Big hugs to you.

taurus424 · March 2011

I was there in january. lost my DD at 22 weeks. and had to explain it to my four year old DS. Its devastating. exhausting, horrible...and all those emotions in one. I pretty much laid on the couch for four weeks....everyone deals with loss differently but i needed to be alone, cry, and sob. I am not sure if you ever get over the jealous anger emotion at the other pregnant women who arent having problems...i just pray for my LO all the time. She is my guardian angel and watches me. There are a lot of angel babies in heaven who are with her and I have to believe that she is there and perfect with no flaws.

prayers for you, your angel baby and your family.

amygosling · April 2014

Hi xx im amy. I just found out my baby has no hb. I had a small bit of watery blood and went in for a scan. No movement and no hb..a never thought this would happen to us. I just keep crying. Am angry that my ot slept all night and I couldn't. I know hes devastated too but I broke down and all I get os howay man!!!!! I need to go in on Wednesday to deliver my baby. Im absolutely devastated. 2 other of ny friends are pregnant and am finding that hard. When will tjis pain stop I dont know what to do. I dont k ow where to start. Does the hospital take the body. Do I walk away without looking back I am 16 weeks I have 2 other children. I just feel like I cant go on anymore. Am so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel we still cant believe it its like its happening to someone else. I just cant face people

Cocoasushi · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a son too at 19 weeks. Tomorrow makes one month since he was born. I felt just like you. I never thought this would happen to me. My 4yo daughter already knew I was pregnant and was very excited for her baby brother. We've had other losses in our family before, so we had already explained to her what can happen if a baby is sick in a mommy's tummy, but she was still devastated. She still loves her baby brother and talks about him and what he could have been every day. I still have my moment's where all I can do is sit there and cry. I've only recently started getting jealous at other pregnant women. It does get easier to deal with, but you don't get over it, you just move forward.

KingLED · April 2014

This post is from 3 years ago.

jneden · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss!

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