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Parenting
destinycochran1
member
Pushy Grandparent?
destinycochran1
member
in Parenting
Hello, my DD is 5 months old and me and her father have not been together since I was 4 months pregnant, we've resolved our issues and are co-parenting well but his mother is driving me insane. I let my DD's father and mother take her for a few hours on the weekends and every time I pick her up her grandma has bought her new clothes and she's wearing some uncomfortable frumpy dress, headbands and shoes that look too tight. I don't see anything wrong with dressing up a baby on occasion but every time? My DD is much more comfortable and happy in just a plain onesie with socks (or just hanging out in diaper after bath time). Also, the grandma is constantly giving me unsolicited parenting advice and continues to pressure me into piercings her ears which I am against and have told her so. The grandma is the type of person who even puts bows on her dogs. I know she means well but I feel like she tries to dress up my DD like a doll and I'd rather her be more comfortable than wearing sparkly stuff from head to toe. She was born and raised in Peru so maybe its custom dress up little girls all the time?
So I guess I'm looking for some advice. Am I making an issue out of nothing or should I feel like she's infringing on my parenting style? Should I say anything to her and how can approach the topic without seeming rude? She's a good grandmother but I want my LO to be comfortable and seriously why does she need a 4 layer dress when we live in Florida?
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Re: Pushy Grandparent?
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
Unless your DD is being put in harm's way by dresses and bows, there is little you can do. I would stand firm on the ear piercing though. Make sure she has no opportunity to do it behind your back. In general, pick your battles and you might have some success getting along.
I get that it's annoying, but I wouldn't say it's "infringing" on your parenting style to dress your DD up in stuffy, frilly clothes. Now, if they pierced her ears without your consent, that would be another story.
As for the unsolicited advice, just smile and nod, and try to tune it out. I know firsthand how difficult that is, especially when you're a single parent and maybe not 100% confident in all of your decisions which can put you on the defensive. But unless she's being nasty, just try not to let it bother you too much.
This shouldn't be your hill to die on. Grandparents can be annoying, but it is out of love. Let it be and dress her how you want when she is with you.
However, if grandma decides to get her ears pierced knowing how you feel...well, that would be the last time I would let my kid be alone with her.
That being said I would let them know about the ear piercing. Give the reasons not just a she is mine and I say no because I can see that not working out.
Color me shocked that you feel this way. Shocked.
She's not the only one.
I would be firm about the ear piercing. Just say that you and your DD's father feel strongly that she should be able to wait until she can decide for herself (or whatever), and hopefully your MIL will respect that decision.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
But that's not what anyone said.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Okay so this thread got a little derailed. I guess I'm just making mountains out of molehills because of the past issues I had with my DDs father and his family.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8999967/leaving-the-father-while-pregnant#latest
My LO isn't in harm’s way so I really should pick my battles and let the frilly dress issue go. I have the tendency to think of her as only MY daughter, when I'm not her only parent and I need to work on coming to terms with the fact that I have to share her. So thank you to the commenters with the helpful advice, not sure what all the arguing was all about? I guess I need to be more active in the message boards to figure that one out.
And for some consistency in this thread: