Potty: To ask or not to ask?

DawnLilly · March 2014

I'm jumping over a bit early. DS is 22 months and we have been potty training since Tuesday. It was earlier than I expected to start but he was holding it for so long that when I would go to change his diaper he would be dry and as soon as the diaper was off he would pee. I am extremely impressed. He has been going pee every time he tries and since Tuesday has only had 4 accidents. He is naked during the day and wears padded training underwear when he sleeps. Every day he has woken up dry from his naps (2 hours) and is only slightly wet in the morning. Not even anything that has reached his bedding. Today, he ran to the bathroom yelling "help" holding his butt and pooped on the potty.

My question is: Do I continue to ask/make him try to pee every 1.5-2 hours during the day or should I stop mentioning it completely and expect him to always remember? He gets very upset and worked up when he has had accidents and I don't want to stress him too much but I also want him to know I trust him.

klv · March 2014

Ask. If he says no don't push it. Unless he has not gone in 3 hours or something. My LO is almost 3 and has been trained for about 6 months and I still have to reming her sometimes especially when she is really into doing something.

ashiscute · March 2014

Like PP said ask still. But don't make him go. It takes awhile for it to click every time I think.

DawnLilly · March 2014

Thank you. I was looking at a lot of old posts yesterday and one woman said her daughter would not potty train until she (mom) put total control into her daughter's hands. Her daughter was opting to exercise her independence by refusing to go on the potty and always saying no when asked. I had never thought of it from this point of view and didn't want him to get frustrated with me.

@LalaMama81‌ he woke up pretty wet this morning and instead of the normal outcry to come get him "Mama! Dadada!" It was "Eewwww!" Lol I was afraid to see how bad it was. Not too bad, but I did have to wash the sheets. I am leery of putting him in a diaper at night now though. I think I'm going to get a cloth diaper so he still feels wet at night if he goes. I hope he will start to wake up if he has to go but I know that's asking a lot.

He did accidentally pee this morning in his big boy underwear. He got playing, I got cleaning. He came to me holding himself and said uh oh. I put him on the toilet right away and he peed more so he must have been able to stop it.

I am a researcher and have not had adequate time to properly prepare myself for this.

ashiscute · March 2014

I did pull-ups at night until DD was dry. I don't think a diaper at bed time and not during the day is confusing for a child. Most children do not night train at the same time as the day train. It's just much more difficult developmentally.

Personally, I'd do a pull-up at night and put all of my concentration on day time. Night time is a whole different ballgame.

dashofreality · March 2014

It might be my post you are referring to. It sounds like he is doing great, 4 accidents in a week is great for starting. I totally understand being 'not ready'. I wasn't planning on training, my DD wanted a potty at the store and I figured, what the heck, not anticipating training for at least a few months. And I was overwhelemed.

If he isn't getting upset with you asking and pregressing well, I would keep asking. I would just keep to gentle reminders and don't push it. I wouldn't make him 'try anyways' unless you are leaving the house.

Also, it took a little while for my DD to learn how to fully empty her bladder. So, for a few weeks she was peeing every 20 min - 1 hour, and I thought potty training was a dumb idea. But then it clicked and she started being able to hold it forever. Per doctors orders, I now have to force her to go because she will go 13-14 hours overnight/morning and easily 3-4 hours during the day. But our problem was I wasn't aware of her progression and was asking her if she needed to go every hour or so and she was getting annoyed and regressing.

Go with what works for you and if you start htting a wall, try something else.

DawnLilly · March 2014

Should I start to wake him up at night to build a pattern? He sleeps from 7-7

BabyBoyNYC · April 2014

my son will be 3 in June and we are just starting and I always have to ask, sometimes he will say "go pee pee!!!!" and take off running toward the toilet but usually he just grabs his crotch and then I ask him if he wants to go, and then say "If you have to go poo poo or pee pee what do you say?" and he'll respond with "I gotta pee pee" so we'll see when he starts to actually do it. I wouldn't worry about it

dashofreality · April 2014

DawnLilly said:

Should I start to wake him up at night to build a pattern? He sleeps from 7-7

No, don't mess with sleep! Day training and night training are very different. My DD was solid, no accidents, for more than 6 months before we ditched the nighttime diaper. It was probably 4 months before we ditched diapers at nap. Everyone I know that trained early and followed the method that has you do night training at the same time had regression and bedwetting issues.

It definitely clicked with my DD and she started waking up dry in the morning. We waited for that to be consistent for a few weeks and then ditched diapers. She has wet the bed once when she was sick, and that was it.

ashiscute · April 2014

DawnLilly said:

Should I start to wake him up at night to build a pattern? He sleeps from 7-7

Personally I do not wake my kids up in the middle of the night. I'd rather them be in a pull-up or diaper at night then mess with sleep. I know a lot of people do this but I do not understand it. Most kids are not developmentally ready to stay dry at night when they are first day training.

DawnLilly · April 2014

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. There are so many opinions and posts out there I am glad I could come here for our exact situation. Also glad everyone seems to have similar experiences and advice. That is very helpful, as I have not done this before.

He's still doing really well so it looks like we are officially potty training.

Tink112011 · April 2014

DS trained very early too. He was ready and it was so easy. I stopped asking him after about a week and he did great. I always expect him to go potty before we leave the house and before bedtime, so I recommend getting your LO used to that habit. Seems crazy to night train so young. Why mess with sleep? Since potty training, DS wakes up dry about 75% of the time. He wears a pull-up, so it's no biggie. I am happy he trained so early and don't feel it is age appropriate to expect even more from him.

janinekrause · April 2014

I would definitely not wake him at night. I used pull ups too- she was dry 5 out of 7 nights early on then was dry every night. I still left them on for a few months- personally, I wasn't going to wash sheets a few days a week. It didn't confuse her at all.

shannm · April 2014

I vote not to ask. When I did this with DS, I found that if he relied on me to tell him, he wouldn't pay attention and had more accidents. Yes, it may mean more messes upfront but it will teach him to be more in control of the situation faster.

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