I'm so angry that I'm shaking-

Eastie156 · March 2014

My brother and his wife decided when my nephew was born 6 months ago, that they were going to be a no vaccination household. They believe that chiropractic heals most ailments. I fully respect their decision, although it makes me nervous. But it's their life, it's not my place to lecture or tell them what to do. Anyway, my brother just posted on FB that my nephew has been sick for two weeks and he wishes he could make him feel better, but that through hope and chiropractic, that it would likely help him. I posted asking if he's seen a pediatrician to rule out infections, etc. He hasn't responded, but I'm confused. If it's a no-vacc household, does that also mean no pediatrician visits, especially when the baby is sick? If so, it's so wrong. WTF. I want to lean through FB and shake him. Rant over.

MomtobeNJ · March 2014

Oh, God. Through "hope?" No.

Eastie156 · March 2014

MomtobeNJ said:

Oh, God. Through "hope?" No.

Yeah. No shiiit. Grrr. I love my brother, but seriously ??

ktnicole · March 2014

Do you know his symptoms? L constantly has a runny nose from allergies. I used to rush her in for everything but don't now that she is older.

Eastie156 · March 2014

ktnicole said:

Do you know his symptoms? L constantly has a runny nose from allergies. I used to rush her in for everything but don't now that she is older.

I don't know them, but his post pretty much sounded like LO is very sick. I've never heard them mention a pediatrician at all, so I'm guessing he's never been to one at all. I just don't like that they think hope will fix everything. Sometimes you need medicine and science and that's ok!!

BeebopandBuddy · March 2014

Oh gosh, that's a terrible position to be in. Poor baby. You are better than me. I wouldn't get too pushy, but I would call and tell them you are concerned after you saw the post and ask a little more about the symptoms and why no doctor? Not in a pushy way, but in a concerned way. The waiting for a response would make me nuts.

Eastie156 · March 2014

BeebopandBuddy said:

Oh gosh, that's a terrible position to be in. Poor baby. You are better than me. I wouldn't get too pushy, but I would call and tell them you are concerned after you saw the post and ask a little more about the symptoms and why no doctor? Not in a pushy way, but in a concerned way. The waiting for a response would make me nuts.

I know my brother, he's very opinionated and once he makes up his mind, there is usually no changing it. I feel like my SIL might be a little more open to discussion about it than he would be. Yes the waiting is making me crazy.

edited for spelling

ktnicole · March 2014

I certainly don't understand it- I can't stand the idea of L suffering when I could do something. And again.... freaking vax.

Eastie156 · March 2014

ktnicole said:

I certainly don't understand it- I can't stand the idea of L suffering when I could do something. And again.... freaking vax.

I agree. I'm just scared for my nephew. I'm so afraid they are going to take their stance on what they believe in so far, that some day something tragic is going to happen.

purplegem11 · March 2014

Not to scare you but I read a story about a month ago that a family didn't believe in doctors and medicine and that god would heal the children. To make a long story short these children ended up passing away bc they needed medical attention that they were not given. I'm not saying this is the exact situation but if I were in your shoes I would be the pushy aunt for my sick nephew.

willy_gert · March 2014

purplegem11 said:

Not to scare you but I read a story about a month ago that a family didn't believe in doctors and medicine and that god would heal the children. To make a long story short these children ended up passing away bc they needed medical attention that they were not given. I'm not saying this is the exact situation but if I were in your shoes I would be the pushy aunt for my sick nephew.

Yeah, at some point you may need to go over your brother's head and seek some sort of intervention on your nephew's behalf. If he is really really sick and medical attention is warranted.

Eastie156 · March 2014

purplegem11 said:

Not to scare you but I read a story about a month ago that a family didn't believe in doctors and medicine and that god would heal the children. To make a long story short these children ended up passing away bc they needed medical attention that they were not given. I'm not saying this is the exact situation but if I were in your shoes I would be the pushy aunt for my sick nephew.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that as first time parents they could end up making a decision about his health that isn't the best one, based solely on their beliefs.

Eastie156 · March 2014

BunkinMama said:

When did anit-vax = no pedi ? Sounds like their views of the medical field are scewed. Doctor's are good, especially if antibiotics are needed. Your poor nephew. I hope they realize he needs help and they have or soon will take him to the doctor.

I don't know either..I think their obsession with chiropractic has become almost like a god cult to them. I fully believe it can help lots of ailments and make you feel better, but bottom line, medicine is there for a reason.

MomtobeNJ · March 2014

@Eastie156 - is there anyone else your brother trusts that could talk to him? Maybe he would receive it better (like, not as criticism) coming from someone else?

What a crappy position to be in. I'm so sorry.

MommaP12 · March 2014

If your SIL is more open, I'd start with her and the concerned route as beebop said - get the symptoms this way too. If you don't feel you're getting anywhere there - can you go over them to your parents or hers? This definitely sounds like it needs in intervention if he's been sick 2 weeks and they are using "hope and chiropractic" to heal. I'm so sorry for your poor nephew and you being in this position.

Pokedot · March 2014

I agree about intervening but had a question. Is your brother a chiro? Was the idea of chiro suddently something they decided they wanted to use? Do they see a chiro regularly or his your brothering trying to adjust him at home? If he's seeing a chiro for the sickness I would hope the chiro would be pushing for medical intervention like medication.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

I would probably try to figure out what your nephews symptoms are first, and based on that make a decision. If he has had a fever over a hundred for two weeks straight I would probably call children's services and have a well child check done.

Eastie156 · March 2014

Pokedot said:

I agree about intervening but had a question. Is your brother a chiro? Was the idea of chiro suddently something they decided they wanted to use? Do they see a chiro regularly or his your brothering trying to adjust him at home? If he's seeing a chiro for the sickness I would hope the chiro would be pushing for medical intervention like medication.

They both work for a chiro, but are not chiro's themselves. They've been using chiro since before my nephew was born. I don't know if he'd push for medical intervention, TBH. He's very much against traditional medicine.

Eastie156 · March 2014

jlk6 said:

That sucks, I'm sorry! What do your parents think about this?

Although my Mom had us vaccinated, brought us to regular pedi appts, etc, she thinks the world of chiro, too and firmly believes it can heal anything.

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

Eastie, Im glad you're not like your family. i believe in chiro too. as a supplement to traditional medicine. It has a lot of great benefits but I judge when that's your only belief. If something happened to that poor baby, then what? It's the chiro's fault? What a sucky situation.

melody921 · March 2014

BunkinMama said:

When did anit-vax = no pedi ? Sounds like their views of the medical field are scewed. Doctor's are good, especially if antibiotics are needed. Your poor nephew. I hope they realize he needs help and they have or soon will take him to the doctor.

I wonder if they can't find a crunchy enough doc to embrace their views. Every doc I've taken my kids to has specifically required we get the vacs.

hmp1 · March 2014

Why haven't you called him to ask how your nephew is doing? I wouldn't get all judgey, just a nice call to see how they are doing. Say you saw on FB that he was sick and wanted to know if you can do anything. Then you can get some more details about the severity. If you are still this concerned after getting some details, then you can go to the SIL with your concerns.

Hyaline · March 2014

This makes me angry on so many levels, but as a chiro's daughter and a huge proponent of chiropractic care, it infuriates me when people take this view of chiropractic--both your brother and SIL and, if he is encouraging this, their chiro. In an idea world, chiro and conventional medicine work together, not against one another. A good chiro won't say "No, your kid NEVER needs medication"--might say "let's try other things before antibiotics" but that's becoming more and more common in conventional medicine, too.

I am guessing that they haven't found a pedi who will accept the no-vax thing. But they could still take the kid to a walk-in clinic or even a Walgreens or CVS clinic.

Or they could be those obnoxious people who post ZOMG MY KID IS SICK every time the kid has the sniffles and it could be nothing. I mean, they sound kind of generically obnoxious anyway from how insane their health beliefs are.

Eastie156 · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:
Eastie, Im glad you're not like your family. i believe in chiro too. as a supplement to traditional medicine. It has a lot of great benefits but I judge when that's your only belief. If something happened to that poor baby, then what? It's the chiro's fault? What a sucky situation.

Exactly! I believe it certainly has great potential in combination with traditional medicine. Luckily my whole family hasn't sipped the koolaid, it's just my brother/SIL and Mom.

Eastie156 · March 2014

Hyaline said:
This makes me angry on so many levels, but as a chiro's daughter and a huge proponent of chiropractic care, it infuriates me when people take this view of chiropractic--both your brother and SIL and, if he is encouraging this, their chiro. In an idea world, chiro and conventional medicine work together, not against one another. A good chiro won't say "No, your kid NEVER needs medication"--might say "let's try other things before antibiotics" but that's becoming more and more common in conventional medicine, too.

I am guessing that they haven't found a pedi who will accept the no-vax thing. But they could still take the kid to a walk-in clinic or even a Walgreens or CVS clinic.

Or they could be those obnoxious people who post ZOMG MY KID IS SICK every time the kid has the sniffles and it could be nothing. I mean, they sound kind of generically obnoxious anyway from how insane their health beliefs are.

I'm annoyed at their chiro who encourages this view point. Honestly, I think he's a quack.

Eastie156 · March 2014

hmp1 said:
Why haven't you called him to ask how your nephew is doing? I wouldn't get all judgey, just a nice call to see how they are doing. Say you saw on FB that he was sick and wanted to know if you can do anything. Then you can get some more details about the severity. If you are still this concerned after getting some details, then you can go to the SIL with your concerns.

I've texted and FB'd with no response at all. I sent a nice text saying I was sorry he was sick and had they considered getting him checked out with the pedi. No response. I know how my brother can be-he doesn't listen to anybody sometimes.

Eastie156 · March 2014

melody921 said:

BunkinMama said:

When did anit-vax = no pedi ? Sounds like their views of the medical field are scewed. Doctor's are good, especially if antibiotics are needed. Your poor nephew. I hope they realize he needs help and they have or soon will take him to the doctor.

I wonder if they can't find a crunchy enough doc to embrace their views. Every doc I've taken my kids to has specifically required we get the vacs.

I don't know. I haven't seen them for a few months and it's a touchy subject. My older brother strongly feels that the are nuts for not vaccinating and has been pretty vocal about it. I'm wondering if they aren't feeling the heat-

L8kissie · March 2014

That poor baby. Can your family intervene? Maybe the older generation would have more pull. I hope this little one feels better soon and they come to their senses.

PenelopePond · April 2014

Any update?

Eastie156 · April 2014

@PenelopePond, yes. Basically my nephew has been sick for over 2 1/2 weeks with a cold/cough. I found out that he doesn't have a pedi and that the chiropractor listened to his heart and lungs with a stethoscope and said everything sounded clear. I gave my brother a talking to about if nephews cough turns croupy he better get his arse to the Dr./emergency room immediately. That's about all I could say to them. Even talking to my brother about croup made him mad. They wouldn't respond to my messages until after I sent my SIL four text messages. I'm guessing they are annoyed that I'm butting in. I also am really annoyed at my Mom for basically telling them it's ok to behave in this manner. I just can't get on board with no pediatrician at all.

Eastie156 · April 2014

There's not a whole lot that I can do, aside from stepping back and letting them decide what's best for their child. Unless it turns to an emergency situation, I can't do anything. If I called CPS, it would be a really bad situation. I'd potentially separate my family in two. It's also borderline questionable if CPS would intervene, I think. If it's their chosen "belief", how can I prove that it's bad for my nephew?

PenelopePond · April 2014

Poor little guy

MeatballEsq · April 2014

What are your thoughts about get togethers once you have your second child? That would make me nervous until #2 was all vaccinated.

Eastie156 · April 2014

MeatballEsq said:

What are your thoughts about get togethers once you have your second child? That would make me nervous until #2 was all vaccinated.

@MeatballEsq, I actually hadn't even given it a thought yet. Good points, gosh I really don't know. Yikes.

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