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Crying at Daycare - Mom not Toddler

Starfish+77Starfish+77 member
in Working Moms
DD is 16 months and has been going to the same daycare since 6 months old. She is not her usual bubbly self at daycare and seems to be very shy around the other kids and with teachers. What is more concerning, is that she's been walking at home for a month now and teachers report that she "barely walks" there. Today I pulled up the daycare to pick her up and saw her toddler class outside at their playground. All the other kids were running, playing and the teachers were playing ball with some of the kids. Then I see my sweet DD sitting on the ground at the perimeter of the playground watching everyone. I sat in my car a minute and cried. Is she overly shy? Does she not enjoy daycare? She is not like this at all with DH and I. In fact we took her to a park last weekend and she ran around the playground. When I inquired, her teacher said in the few mild days they've gone outside she always sits and doesn't join the others. What are your thoughts? Should I be concerned or am I over analyzing? Oh and I'm 9 months pregnant so the crying is likely hormone induced :-) But I did feel awful watching my sweet girl sitting there by herself.
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Re: Crying at Daycare - Mom not Toddler

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  • mittensonkittensmittensonkittens member
    It's normal for kids to act differently at daycare than they do at home because it's a different environment. My 3 year old's teachers describe him as quiet, but that is the LAST word we would ever use to describe him at home. He tells us he likes school, so I don't worry about it. Your DD is at an age where she can be hard to read because she is interacting with people more, but not communicating enough to give you much information. I would talk to the teachers and ask if they think she is doing well. You see her at drop off when she hasn't warmed up yet, and you see her at pickup when she's tired at the end of the day. Trust the teacher's assessment of the situation and their experience with kids that age. As far as the playground concern, my first thought is that she is a late walker and not as steady on her feet on grass or mulch surfaces. My oldest didn't walk until almost 2 due to some medical issues, and he was intimidated by the other kids running around because they accidentally knocked him down. We noticed because there was such a discrepancy between their skill levels, but I wonder if there is some of that going on here on a smaller scale. My concerns with his social environment went away as soon as his gross motor skills caught up. In your case, I bet a couple months would make a big difference.
    Formerly known as ms.mittens Jude 12/31/2008 Ezra 2/10/2011 Nora 7/23/2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Starfish+77Starfish+77 member
    Thank you for all the input! I don't take her outside often since it's been such a cold winter here and we even had some snow last week after spring supposedly began. So hopefully she is not confident enough yet walking outside, as suggested, and she will 'warm up' with the weather :-) Since it's been reported that she doesn't walk much indoors either, I'm thinking what mittens said is true that she could be worried about getting knocked over by another kid. My DH usually drops off in the AM and she doesn't seem sad generally so hopefully the not walking is a phase until she gets more comfortable. I of cores just want her to enjoy her time there since she is there so much. Thanks again (sorry no formatting since on mobile!)
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    I'm sure this will work itself out, but just wanted to say that my heart broke a little for you. (I'm pregnant too, so it could also be hormones!). That must have been really hard. I worked in a day care in college, and kiddos seemed to cycle in and out of these phases. Especially when they were hitting big milestones like walking. If she doesn't seem sad or upset about going to day care I wouldn't worry too much.
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  • rubber_chickenrubber_chicken member
    Maybe she's just an introvert?  We tend to find social situations very draining, and need time by ourselves to recharge. 

    (Introverts are sometimes also shy, but shyness is not the same thing.)

    Do they ever break the class up into smaller groups?  Maybe she does better with quiet activities or just a few playmates?
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  • skibunny59skibunny59 member

    She may just be shy or an introvert.  It may just be her personality and it doesn't mean she's unhappy. 

    I was like that as a kid.  My mom was a teacher and the school she taught at was very close to my preschool and elementary school.  She said she would always take a walk to my school during her lunch break to watch me during recess and she would often see me just sitting by myself and not playing with the other kids.  It was just the way I was.

    I'm a perfectly normal adult now and have come out of my shell a TON but I'm still shy and people still comment about how quiet I am.

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  • Reilly626Reilly626 member
    Does she sit with her special soothing toy? I found my daughter not interacting and sucking her thumb because she was holding her "lovey" I told them to only allow it at naps and then she became the social butterfly.
    My brother was like the above poster painfully shy and hung by the teachers in preK. While he's always been quiet he's fine. I think more people seek him out because he isn't a big mouth :) she will be fine.
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