WTF is wrong with me? Sorry, long.

lifesaverz · March 2014

Seriously guys, I have a problem!

So, a little backstory is that when LO was born, something clicked in my brain with the new responsibility & I just couldn't relax enough to get to sleep anymore. I actually ended up in the ER for major insomnia after not sleeping for several days, despite multiple efforts I made while DH was watching LO. It was like I couldn't mentally let go.

I went on meds for a short time then haven't had problems sleeping at night since (I still can't nap in the day even if I try), BUT that is only if I put LO to bed & am responsible for her (I have the monitor). Because DH & I work opposite shifts, I'm by myself with LO every night, except his days off, so I've just gotten so used to putting her to bed myself, & I guess my brain never had to learn to "let go" of the responsibility.

And now, even when I just want a break so bad because I'm exhausted, & DH puts her to bed for me, I can't effing go to sleep! Tonight he put her to bed but here I am, wide awake, & while laying here I could literally feel the stress build in my body...I don't know why it's so hard for me to mentally let go at night. DH has her during the day while I'm at work & I never worry about a thing. I fear I may be the only one to put her to bed from now until forever because I can't seem to sleep knowing that she's still awake. I know this problem probably needs legit therapy (and being a counselor myself I've tried all my "calming" methods on myself) but on the off-chance anyone else can relate or has suggestions I would love to hear them! Anyone else have a hard time mentally letting go? I hate it that I'm like this.

notthecheat · March 2014

Oh man that sucks. I have no advice but you can have all my sorries. Hope you find a solution soon!

Hmvbaby14 · March 2014

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I also absolutely can not nap during the day. It's impossible for me. And as much as I would love for DH to take over and put L to bed every now and then to give me a break it would make me go crazy and there is no way I could sleep when that is happening. I hope you find a solution soon and are able to get some sleep!

ugoglencoco · March 2014

I definitely have a hard time mentally letting go. It's not just with my kids though, it's EVERYTHING. I don't like DH loading the dishwasher because he does it all wrong and I like putting everything in a certain place. I have to put the baby to sleep at night as well, and then I have to check on him a few times before I actually go to sleep. Same with putting laundry away and a bunch of other stuff. Mine is mostly due to slight OCD. Anyways, I do go to therapy partly for this reason, among others. I understand where you're coming from though. You're not alone.

BoothBaby · March 2014

I'm so sorry, I cannot imagine how exhausting and draining that must be.

FX that you find a solution soon!

readyornot12345 · March 2014

I'm having the same issues still. It sucks I know I'm so exhausted!! Meds don't help much unfortunately because you can only take pills for sleeping for short term and then they don't really work anymore. I just keep reminding myself that the brain will not starve itself too much of sleep. It's brutal but our bodies will relax and sleep and heal with time. Hang in there. I'm in the same boat but I am noticing some
slow improvement.

thetheisens · March 2014

Sorry :-( I have problems falling asleep too. I get anxiety about her waking up or not waking up and then I'm scared something happened. I hope you get some sleep soon.

ladameperdue · March 2014

Uhg, so sorry. I've definitely become a light sleeper since LO arrived. Even when DH gives last bottle and lets me go to bed early, I wake up with any little noise she makes. This might not help, but one shift I had to make mentally in the beginning was to say to myself, simply, 'I have done my best.' So start by thinking of what you are afraid will happen, e.g. whoever is feeding her and putting her to bed won't burp her enough and she'll spit up everywhere. So...it happens. I have done my absolute best and it's better for her to have a lucid mum than to be perfectly burped every time. That sort of thing. Doesn't always work, but I feel a little better in the morning. xo

cammyisagirlsname · March 2014

I have OCD and legit insomnia. I'm a serial routiner. If my routine gets messed up in the slightest I don't sleep. I've been like this for almost 9 years now. And up until I was pregnant I took ambien every single night for many years.

Anyways, like you I can't nap ever. And if LO's bedtime routine gets messed up, I don't sleep. Last night his routine was different than the norm and I was wiiiiide awake until like 4:00am. And the only reason I even got to sleep at all is because I took and ambien at 3:30am and told H that he was on Daddy Duty til it wore off for me.

Moral of my babbling: this happens to me.

lollipoppoop · March 2014

I think I have the opposite problem, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and never feel rested. I feel you on the stress part I have had two stress related rashes in the past two weeks since going back to work

lifesaverz · March 2014

Thanks so much for the support, it really helps to know I'm not the only one. I wish I knew how to fix it, but for now I don't think I'll be trying that again for awhile, because it psyched me out so much that I ended up having to take something to get to sleep, & finally slept but way later than if I had just put her to bed myself.

.

lifesaverz · March 2014

I'm sorry to those of you who deal with this too. It makes me sad because I feel like it's no way to live.

. DH thinks it means I don't trust him but that's totally not it at all...I want to be more of a team with the bedtime thing so bad but I just can't make my brain let go of that I guess.

lifesaverz · March 2014

CitrusXoXo said:
I think I have the opposite problem, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and never feel rested. I feel you on the stress part I have had two stress related rashes in the past two weeks since going back to work

Oh gosh, so sorry.

. Could you possibly be low on iron? I've always had a problem with exhaustion too, even when I used to have no problems sleeping. Turns out my iron was on the low side so I took (& still take) an iron supplement every day, it helps a lot! I was almost non functional some days before that.

monkeybutt61612 · March 2014

I have not been able to sleep without some sort of sleep aid since college. Insomnia is the absolute worst, especially with a husband who could fall asleep on the toilet.

lifesaverz · March 2014

Heaven802002 said:
I am the same way. Before baby I could fall asleep so easily. Sleep for 8+ hours and nap at any time. Now? Nope. I take melatonin and sleepy time tea almost every night so I can actually sleep. My mind is always racing and it's so hard to relax. I have some serious control issues too. It sucks to be this way now but I'm hoping as LO grows up and sleeps better so will I.

Hugs OP.

Thank you! I hope the same!

micino · March 2014

I was like that with my first. I would literally be yelling to DH from the shower checking if everything was ok with he baby. It was ridiculous. It wasn't a controlling thing it was more of an intense sense of being protective of my very first baby. I truly believe that it is a natural instinct to protect our babies. It kicks in the minute they are born. What I think happens is, it just kicks into over drive for some people to the point where you can't even rest.
Try looking at in that way. Our LO momma and that's what we do, you just need to try to tell yourself you are still there protecting understanding comforting giving everything LO needs when you sleep. Because when mommy had proper rest mommy can operate much more efficiently.
What I will tell you is it gets better and it didn't happen with my2nd
Sending you all the sleepy hugs

swirl25 · March 2014

I have this too to a degree, but for me I have issues with letting go as far as germs etc. I'm getting to OCD level with the kids when it comes to hand washing, etc. I know it's something that needs to be addressed in my therapy because I'm only making myself miserable -- I know it's impossible to keep a baby and especially a preschooler 100% germ free.

I also have a thing where I need to check on the baby several times before I can lay down and sleep...I was the same way with DD1 too. Now I don't have the compulsion to check her because I know she can get up and come to us if she needs us. We don't have a video monitor mostly because I know I'd be checking it constantly. So I don't have a solution, but I do suffer from these control issues and anxiety as well and you are not alone...it definitely sucks and I get it.

lifesaverz · March 2014

micino said:

I was like that with my first. I would literally be yelling to DH from the shower checking if everything was ok with he baby. It was ridiculous. It wasn't a controlling thing it was more of an intense sense of being protective of my very first baby. I truly believe that it is a natural instinct to protect our babies. It kicks in the minute they are born. What I think happens is, it just kicks into over drive for some people to the point where you can't even rest. Try looking at in that way. Our LO momma and that's what we do, you just need to try to tell yourself you are still there protecting understanding comforting giving everything LO needs when you sleep. Because when mommy had proper rest mommy can operate much more efficiently. What I will tell you is it gets better and it didn't happen with my 2nd Sending you all the sleepy hugs

@micino, thank you for this. Having this problem has made me worry about having another kid because I'd be afraid of this happening again, & if I had a toddler at the same time, I'd be afraid I'd never sleep again! So it's encouraging to hear that it's possible for it to get better, I really hope it does.

readyornot12345 · April 2014

Ugh after 2 weeks of better sleep finally I got nailed with horrid insomnia last night. I never fell asleep! Off to work and I am hurting today. Hopefully tonight is better. It's gotta be hormones or something plus just worrying about lo.

HerbanMom · April 2014

Oh man, that sounds rough! I've always had some mild insomnia issues since I was a child and dealing with that is a bitch, I can't imagine being in your shoes. Hugs! Hope you can get some sleep soon.

glowpoint · April 2014

micino said:

I was like that with my first. I would literally be yelling to DH from the shower checking if everything was ok with he baby. It was ridiculous. It wasn't a controlling thing it was more of an intense sense of being protective of my very first baby. I truly believe that it is a natural instinct to protect our babies. It kicks in the minute they are born. What I think happens is, it just kicks into over drive for some people to the point where you can't even rest. Try looking at in that way. Our LO momma and that's what we do, you just need to try to tell yourself you are still there protecting understanding comforting giving everything LO needs when you sleep. Because when mommy had proper rest mommy can operate much more efficiently. What I will tell you is it gets better and it didn't happen with my2nd Sending you all the sleepy hugs

All of this, exactly. I was a wreck with DS1, always worried that I wouldn't be there the moment he needed something, and it took a long time before I started sleeping well again. But it's been a million times easier with DS2, and I'm not having the sleeping issues that I had the first time. I hope it gets better for you soon.

WTF is wrong with me? Sorry, long.

Re: WTF is wrong with me? Sorry, long.

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