Infertility

Trying to keep a positive mindset is SO hard.

I have my FET this week and I feel honestly SO jaded. Like "this will NEVER work" but I don't want to feel that way!!!! We have done SO many changes...

We...

Changed clinics, added steriods, CGH tested our embryos, added metformin (just in case), added intralipids...

I guess I'm just scared b/c we have made SO many changes so if this doesn't work... what next? *sigh*

I want SO badly to have a positive attitude but I just can't dig deep enough....

Me (28) DH (32)  Endometriosis                                                                                   IVF  #1 (1/2013) - 17 Retrieved, 16 Mature, 14 Fertilized- 2 transferred- BFN
FET #1 (7/2013) - 2 embryos - BFN
FET #2 (9/2013) - 2 emrbyos - BFN
New RE. Fresh Start
IVF  #2 (2/2014) - 25 Retrieved, 19 Mature, 16 Fertilized, 9 blasts.
                             CGH Testing: 6 Normal
FET #3 (4/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 35 Beta #2: 16 :(
FET #4 (5/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 321!!! Beta #2: 727.9!
6/5/2014 Heartbeat! 144bpm It's a girl!
Due January!
 
 

Re: Trying to keep a positive mindset is SO hard.

  • It definitely is difficult to stay positive.  I (luckily?) don't believe in the notion that positive thinking will give a positive outcome/negative thinking will produce a negative outcome.  Trying to stay positive all the time is just too much pressure on top of an already super emotionally and physically loaded process. 

    I hope your FET goes smoothly, and that your embryo (or embryos) snuggle in nicely <3
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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  • Sunny BSunny B member
    edited March 2014

    It's ok to not feel positive. I think it's a defense mechanism we build up.

    I'm really hoping this is it for you!

    Fingers crossed!

    TTC since May 2012
    Me: 32 H: 31
    DX: MFI-Very Low Count, I have Hashimotos.
    IVF prep September 2013 cancelled due to Ovarian Cyst
    IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI  ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
    ET delayed due to OHSS 
    FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
    FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN 

    All welcome!
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  • Tea+Tea+ member
    Sorry you're feeling this way. Good luck tho! Fx!
    TTC Since 2012
    Me: Endo Stage IV (20+yrs) (who knew? Not me)
    MyLove: Pretty Ok. Low #s (i think) 
    IVF#1: No Eggs to Retrieve
    Taking time to ourselves
     Poor Responder will add COQ10 & DHEA next cycle
    **All Welcome**


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  • It definitely is difficult to stay positive.  I (luckily?) don't believe in the notion that positive thinking will give a positive outcome/negative thinking will produce a negative outcome.  Trying to stay positive all the time is just too much pressure on top of an already super emotionally and physically loaded process. 

    This is exactly how I feel.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself.  It is so normal not to be optimistic during infertility.  We're all rooting for you during your FET cycle, so think of that as the positive thinking that you need :)
  • Its hard a lot of times... I totally understand where you are coming from. I struggle every day with keeping up beat and positive. I try to make light of situations but its sooo hard. We are thinking of you. 
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    Waited a long time, tried a lot of stuff, science made me a mom.
     Loss and IF veteran. Current mom of DS 5.5, DD 2, and sometimes DH 40. Due June 2021 with TWINS
  • SKLHSKLH member
    @kz's_girlygirl Thank you! I agree, I don't think our "mindset" changes outcomes but I hate goinginto this so unconfident! ya know? Thanks for the encouragement!!
    Me (28) DH (32)  Endometriosis                                                                                   IVF  #1 (1/2013) - 17 Retrieved, 16 Mature, 14 Fertilized- 2 transferred- BFN
    FET #1 (7/2013) - 2 embryos - BFN
    FET #2 (9/2013) - 2 emrbyos - BFN
    New RE. Fresh Start
    IVF  #2 (2/2014) - 25 Retrieved, 19 Mature, 16 Fertilized, 9 blasts.
                                 CGH Testing: 6 Normal
    FET #3 (4/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 35 Beta #2: 16 :(
    FET #4 (5/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 321!!! Beta #2: 727.9!
    6/5/2014 Heartbeat! 144bpm It's a girl!
    Due January!
     
     

  • SKLHSKLH member
    Thank you ALL you ladies who can relate to thi spost!! I'm doing a bit better today but still trying ot dig deep!! lol
    Me (28) DH (32)  Endometriosis                                                                                   IVF  #1 (1/2013) - 17 Retrieved, 16 Mature, 14 Fertilized- 2 transferred- BFN
    FET #1 (7/2013) - 2 embryos - BFN
    FET #2 (9/2013) - 2 emrbyos - BFN
    New RE. Fresh Start
    IVF  #2 (2/2014) - 25 Retrieved, 19 Mature, 16 Fertilized, 9 blasts.
                                 CGH Testing: 6 Normal
    FET #3 (4/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 35 Beta #2: 16 :(
    FET #4 (5/2014) -1 embryo -  BFP! Beta#1: 321!!! Beta #2: 727.9!
    6/5/2014 Heartbeat! 144bpm It's a girl!
    Due January!
     
     

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