Why is it necessary

LyndseyLC · March 2014

For people to know u r in labor at hospital? I sent out an email today to my mom and in laws telling them our plan for when I go into labor ect. And mother in law says she hopes we let her know when we go into the hospital. I just don't see why she needs to know .. I plan to wait to tell anyone until he is here except for my mom who will be watching dd. Can't I have some privacy. I can just see mil sharing the news I am in labor with people or even on fb

MapleLeafMama · March 2014

So don't tell her.

pineconey · March 2014

Yeah there's no law saying you have to inform anyone. We aren't. It will just be like *poof* baby!

hordol · March 2014

They're just excited and want to know what's going on. Even though it doesn't directly involve your MIL, getting a grand baby is a big deal! You don't have to tell her unless you or your husband want to though. Especially if she has a big mouth and you don't think she would respect your wishes about keeping it off Facebook.

RedDawnsRevenge · March 2014

I'm super not telling my MIL. Your MIL got to do what she wanted in labour, now it's your turn. And you don't have to justify it to her or anyone else.

Dixon813 · March 2014

I think some of it depends on families/family dynamics. My family is the kind of family that wants to come visit as soon as you say "he/she is here!" Which is why we aren't going to tell siblings anything until baby is born.

We're telling my parents because they live two hours away and I do want them near and will be telling my in laws only because they're watching SS.

Bottom line, if you don't want someone to know, don't tell them!

MrsZ0811 · March 2014

We are texting/calling my parents and my ILs - mainly because they all live almost 2 hours away and they all work. So if they want to come to see us the next day they may have to be able to talk to a boss to take the day off work. But we aren't telling anyone else until we are ready for visitors.

LyndseyLC · March 2014

I plan to not tell her I just hope dh respects that. I told him about a week ago I didn't want to tell anyone and be said not even our parents . With dd his dad and step mom knew and sat out in waiting room at hospital. Which was ridiculous because it was my first and who knew how long it would take and then with dhs mom ( who I am referring to) she didn't know until shortly after dd arrived and came to hospital immediately and also just showed up the next morning with out notice

Serenla · March 2014

pineconey said:
Yeah there's no law saying you have to inform anyone. !

Shit there isn't?

speechie517 · March 2014

I'm in the "poof, baby!" camp too.

RebeccaY1 · March 2014

I'm in the "poof, baby!" camp. I don't see any need to tell people I'm in labour.

MadBloom · March 2014

I had a talk with my MIL about this and how she is not to do anything on facebook until I have announced it myself because there are certain family members of mine that I will be contacting via phone/facetime to announce the arrival of baby and I would HATE for them to see an announcement on her facebook that I'm tagged in or something. And if she can't agree to my privacy wishes then she will not be informed of when we are headed to the hospital and will not be called until after the baby is here. She was very upset then she wouldn't be allowed to tell, "her friends" but I think it got through to her. I also told her that she would only be allowed to post pictures that I approve of. She's type to post a pic of me like breast feeding or like a naked baby pic.

Lay out your rules and if she has an issue with them then don't invite her along and she can be informed afterwards. No reason to have people waiting at the hospital.

Luckie519 · April 2014

We have a scheduled c-section, so everyone kind of knows when the baby will arrive (unless she comes early). My GMIL was under the impression she'd be in the room with us during the c-section. Why she thought this, I had no idea. She also thinks she is going to be up at the hospital all day / every day. I have tried talking to her, but she is not altogether. I told DH he better lay down the law.

I don't mind if my ILs and my mom come around the day of the birth though, as long as they don't think they are going to sit there all day. I doubt they will. With DS, the biggest issues were my GMIL and her drama, my FIL eating food in the room after being asked not to, and my mom interrupting me and the doctor while I was asking questions or the doctor was answering me. I learned my lesson last time!

sking72 · April 2014

My brother texted me today telling me if I text him when I leave for the hospital he can be there within the hour. I just explained that I would be fine texting him when we got there; but there was no point in him showing up because it could take so long for the baby to arrive. My sister also keeps assuming she needs to be there as soon as it happens. I'm the first in our family to have a baby so I think they are just super excited and don't really get how it works. Just have to explain it to them!

Elf2718 · April 2014

Its your labor...your birth...your choice.

I'm a FTM and my Mom and Dad haven't had the opportunity to be this close when a grandbaby is born (brother has 4 girls, but they live in PA). I am OK telling them once we get settled into L&D. Mom doesn't drive, so she can't get to hospital unless someone drives her anyway. Dad works.

SO's Mom is out of town and his sister is his only family here so telling her is OK, too.

I need all the support I can get and if they are crazy enough to sit around fo God knows how long....well....that's up to them. Only SO will be in the room.

Relish1025 · April 2014

I completely understand. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm going to tell them when I'm in labor, and when I say no, they get incredibly butthurt about it. Ultimately it's our decision, but some people get really offended that you don't intend on telling them as soon as you start getting contractions.

Rrrrrachel · April 2014

I think it's fun that people are excited. Last time my mom and my sister were in the room with me and it was great. This time my mil may be or she may be nearby, I'm excited for her to meet the baby ASAP.

RocksInTheWater · April 2014

I will be calling my dad when it's go time as he is 5 hours away and wants to visit at the hospital. He did the same for my sister and only stayed overnight, then drove home. I love it that he wants to come visit his grandchild right away. My in-laws are unable to travel far due to physical limitations so they won't be coming at all. They'll meet the baby at Easter.

nikkimorello · April 2014

It's always really interesting to me to read about these different family dynamics! With my family and DH's family it's standard expectation to let immediate family know as soon as we are sure it's 'go time' (I take that as when we get admitted). I've honestly never questioned it and I can't imagine being that excited and not telling them. I'm assuming we'll have 10-15 people in the waiting room for hours before baby is here. I'm no help either because I have a couple friends who I'll tell right away, and I'm sure they'll add to the group! Hanging in the waiting room is definitely a waste of their time, but I'm happy our little man has so many people excited to welcome him into the world. Many of them will drive in from 3-4 hours away. Hopefully since this just seems like the norm for our family I won't feel completely overwhelmed! I guess I'll find out soon enough!

Lacynduck · April 2014

I'm split in half. I want all the positive vibes I can get but I think I'll feel pressured if everyone knows I'm in labor

bingbongsmama · April 2014

Well since I'm having a scheduled c/s everyone knows the date and even time I'll be there. I've got a few people who will be waiting outside which is kind of nerve wracking but at the same time it's nice to have the support. I do have strict rules about not passing the baby around, they can look but not touch. I don't want her getting sick.

chirico3 · April 2014

I am just so glad my parents and MIL don't have any idea how FB works...

pdilly2b · April 2014

Agree that you get to set the rules. We unfortunately have to tell more people this time because MIL is driving 3 hrs to take care of DS and has to get her ducks in a row for someone watching BIL's kids so she can leave for us. Otherwise my preference would be just to tell my parents since my mom will be in L&D with me and DH.

I hate knowing people are in labor (Facebook updates are the worst!) so would like to do others the (what I consider a) courtesy of "poof, baby".

luvU2theMoon · April 2014

LyndseyLC said:

For people to know u r in labor at hospital? I sent out an email today to my mom and in laws telling them our plan for when I go into labor ect. And mother in law says she hopes we let her know when we go into the hospital. I just don't see why she needs to know .. I plan to wait to tell anyone until he is here except for my mom who will be watching dd. Can't I have some privacy. I can just see mil sharing the news I am in labor with people or even on fb

I wont be telling anyone. My boyfriends mom is pretty good about giving us space but everyone and their mom will know i am in labor if she knows and i dont want people sitting in the waiting room. we are going to just let people know when she is here and when we are ready for visitors.

mmiller7460 · April 2014

We will tell my parents and DHs, but any other announcements will come after we leave the hospital. A friend of mine's husband posted on Facebook throughout the ENTIRE process when she went into labor- "She just lost her mucus plug!... Getting checked by the OB!... She's pushing!!" etc etc. I remember thinking that I would KILL my husband if he did that.

SeattleMomma · April 2014

In my opinion it's just the nice thing too say.

katiedidthat · April 2014

We called my ILs when I went into labor so they could let the rest of the family know. They are four hours away though so they weren't going to just show up at the hospital and it was just expected. I don't mind when I hear someone is in labor, but ONLY once they've been checked into the hospital and the baby is actually coming. I'm not a fan of (read: can't stand) the three weeks of facebook updates about "Baby is coming soon, I'm dilated to a 1!".

RedDawnsRevenge · April 2014

@katiedidthat‌ I got one better. I have a friend who is due 4 weeks after me. She says she knows the baby is coming soon and early (to boot) because she has become emotionally attached to her water bottle. Apparently she became emotionally attached to it with her first 2 kids as well, and gets strong contractions when separated from it. Try keeping a poker face when someone tells you that!

LizChad09 · April 2014

We actually talked about this last night. My family all lives out of state and my mom is planning on flying in the day I get released, so I am going to call her when I am in labor so she can find a plane ticket. DH's family is local and I have already said it is going to be just the 2 of us in the delivery room and I would prefer that they did not wait in the lobby. The hospital made it seems like it will be a couple of hours after delivery before they will allow others to see the baby anyway.

We informed my family last night of our plan to announce the baby's gender and name and we will tell DH's tonight. This way everyone knows and no one will spoil the announcement for us....I hope....

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