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What would you like to hear from a Birthmom?

CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
in Adoption
My agency has asked me to speak at their adoption support group on April 8. They want PAP's to see an example of a successful open adoption. I could use your help figuring out what to say. For those of you who have adopted, what would you have liked to have known from our perspective before placement or what were you told that helped? For those of you waiting, what would you like to know but can't ask? Or what have I or other birthmoms said on here that have helped? I want to encourage PAP's to pursue open adoption and not be afraid of it. It's hard, but I know that already all three sides of the triad have benefited from it.

Or, what random q's do you have? :-)
Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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Re: What would you like to hear from a Birthmom?

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    We only got to see a video of one birthmom's experience, so we only got a glimpse into her perspective. And her adoption was VERY open (visiting each other's homes, going on vacation together), so our SW made sure to tell us it wasn't necessarily a typical open adoption relationship.

    Just stream of consciousness questions might be:

    Why did YOU choose open adoption?

    How has it benefited you?

    How has it been hard for you?

    What level of openness do you have, and is it at the level you're comfortable with?

    You said you know already that all 3 sides have benefited. In what ways?

    How did/does your family react to the idea of adoption in general, and open adoption in particular?

    Do you find you have/had to defend your plan to others? How did you do so?

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  • CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
    What great questions- thank you! Once I have what I'm going to say together I'd love to share on here for some input.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    Also, when you first met, what did you want to talk about? There are so many First Meeting questions, it would be a good IMO to communicate what you hoped your first meeting with the APs to look like.
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