Decisions decisions

sorrellam30 · March 2014

I THINK we have reached a decision. We are going to wait until fall and join the DE program. We are not going to withdrawal from our current shared risk yet in case in the fall we decide to try once more on our own (basically if we aren't financially ready for DE program). I feel really excited about DE, they gave me a temp password to look at the donors. The frozen donors had baby and adult pics (we aren't doing frozen) but the fresh only had baby pictures which makes it a little harder to imagine, the 90's clothes and hair are entertaining. DH is excited too, I just feel like we for the first time in a long time have hope for a different result. Everyone (the few we have discussed it with) asks me if I am mourning the idea of not having biologically children but I don't feel like I am at all (maybe that's bad??) but I just want a healthy baby, using a donor also takes away the very slight risk of passing on the fragile x mutation. I'm a little nervous for the process just because it's new and I don't feel like an expert on the timeline etc. we will likely have to do the 1:3 program where we share with two other couples so that makes me nervous but it's all we will be able to afford, we still get the 6 try money back. it sucks to have to wait until fall but we need to get our finances figured out, last summer I did back to back ivfs so maybe a summer without constant appointments will be nice . I think I'll be ok knowing we have plan. I will still keep posting and checking in of course! A few months ago I felt like we were at the end of our options financially and mentally and physically. I'm excited we found a direction to pursue.

kflynn81 · March 2014

Sounds like a good plan, good luck!

luvboston · March 2014

Sounds like a plan GL

Grateful&Thankful · March 2014

I am glad you were able to reach a decision that you are comfortable with. I hope it brings you some peace while you are on your break. I don't think it is weird to be excited for DE. It's like renewed hope in a way. DH and I are seriously considering it too. That is great that you have the option to share the batch with two other couples to bring the cost down. I wish I had that option because DE is so expensive. Good luck :-)

DoublePortion · March 2014

I don't think I grieved the loss of a bio child too much, because at the end of the day all that mattered was that I wanted a child and wanted to experience being PG. We all handle things in our own ways so don't feel bad if your emotions don't live up to others' expectations.

I hope you enjoy your break and feel refreshed by the time you cycle!!

Mrs.McIrish · March 2014

It's interesting to me now to look back to when I first found out about my high FSH and poor IVF response and how I had no interest in donor eggs. I simply doesn't matter to me now at all. I truly have to think back to remember. I see it now as an opportunity to give my child better genes than they would haven gotten from me(my family history is bad). I hope the excitement grows for you over the next few months. I think the guarantee is the best thing since you don't truly know if its eggs or sperm or both. Are you at SG??

brooklynesque · March 2014

*** ticker ***

I don't think it's weird at all to be excited to be moving on to DE. I was the same way -- ready to stop banging my head against the wall with OE, though we had other OE ideas to try. It's been a year or so since we decided to turn to DE and I don't regret it one bit. The LO now growing inside me is still 100% mine and I can't imagine being more excited than I already am. Good luck and feel free to ask here or on the TPR board if you have questions about the process -- donor selection, protocols, etc. etc.

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Mrs.McIrish said:
It's interesting to me now to look back to when I first found out about my high FSH and poor IVF response and how I had no interest in donor eggs. I simply doesn't matter to me now at all. I truly have to think back to remember. I see it now as an opportunity to give my child better genes than they would haven gotten from me(my family history is bad). I hope the excitement grows for you over the next few months. I think the guarantee is the best thing since you don't truly know if its eggs or sperm or both. Are you at SG??

Yes SG, and they said if we do a cycle and still have bad embryos we can then also use donor sperm. If we can have any genes passed I would want it to be DH but if that's not possible we are still comfortable w a donor. All I care about is success and a healthy baby

sorrellam30 · March 2014

brooklynesque said:
*** ticker ***

I don't think it's weird at all to be excited to be moving on to DE. I was the same way -- ready to stop banging my head against the wall with OE, though we had other OE ideas to try. It's been a year or so since we decided to turn to DE and I don't regret it one bit. The LO now growing inside me is still 100% mine and I can't imagine being more excited than I already am. Good luck and feel free to ask here or on the TPR board if you have questions about the process -- donor selection, protocols, etc. etc.

Thanks! I'll absolutely have questions!

Km672 · March 2014

Yay for making a decision!!
I don't think it's strange at all to be excited about trying DE. I was the happiest and most excited after we finally made the decision. It was a huge relief to us to feel like we had a real shot at becoming parents... I was burnt out from all the attempts with my OE that were getting us nowhere.

I hope you have a great summer knowing you have a good plan to try again in the fall-

LeggyJeggy · March 2014

Good luck! It sounds like a good plan! We took some time off between cycling and it was just nice to have a normal life back.

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Km672 said:

Yay for making a decision!! I don't think it's strange at all to be excited about trying DE. I was the happiest and most excited after we finally made the decision. It was a huge relief to us to feel like we had a real shot at becoming parents... I was burnt out from all the attempts with my OE that were getting us nowhere. I hope you have a great summer knowing you have a good plan to try again in the fall-

Exactly! Well said

Julie21613 · March 2014

***ticker***

Yay for having a plan!

JSM0801 · March 2014

So happy to hear you are moving forward with a new plan. It seems like you have an awesome attitude about everything, so you are definitely making the right decision! You are going to have an amazing summer being on a break and will be well rested and recharged to start up again in the fall. Wishing you all the best!!!

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Thanks! I'm excited for a break now but nervous I'll get to a point where I'm desperate to be doing something, sometimes waiting is the worst part. But I'm trying to remember we are waiting for something that is worth it and gives us a better chance for success!

chucktgirl · March 2014

I'm so glad you made a decision you're clearly happy with. I could see that you were leaning this way. Plus, like you said, you have a "plan b" if you decide to try once again with OE. Good luck!

hmz819 · March 2014

Yay for a plan! I hate the waiting too but at least you get to enjoy your summer!

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