Tell me about it

jmknox · March 2014

We have switched our birth to a birth center with midwives and both sides of the family are completely skeptical/unsupportive. Especially my side where my mom is a nurse and my sister is an MD. I will not let the naysayers discourage us as my hubs and are completely committed and excited about it. We probably won't eve. Mention the birth center anymore to family unless asked point blank. Tell me your experiences with proving the negative attitudes wrong!

aylafsu88 · March 2014

I did it and told them about it afterwards. It really is pointless talking to people who think you are crazy for wanting an unmediated birth. I got a lot of looks and weird comments from my IL's and friends about it. One person even told me that I was not going to enjoy my birth because I was going to be in so much pain. We stopped talking about it to anyone who asked and just told them we would see how things worked out. My H was supportive and we had a doula.
We did it and it was such an empowering, amazing experience. For the most part we did not walk about talking about it but to people who asked we told them. It was nice telling my SIL that I had a great birth, without medication, and enjoyed it.

Rrrrrachel · March 2014

I had a great birth center birth with my daughter and hopefully with this baby, too! I really liked that so much of what I wanted (like not being separated from the baby after birth) was standard practice there. I also spent a lot of time in the hospital as a kid and would like to never have to spend another night in one if i can help it!

I also liked getting to go home so quickly afterwards (I stayed for 12 hours, which is the longest they'll keep you at my BC). There's research showing that for low risk births BC and MW are just as safe or even safer than traditional hospital/ob birth.

Rrrrrachel · March 2014

I think it's weird that so many people interpret having a birth plan as being rigid and inflexible. Obviously you have to make decisions on the fly sometimes in labor.

wintersong · March 2014

Me too. Most birth plans include contingencies, anyway, at least that I've seen. (Example: IF a c-section becomes necessary, we want....or, IF a hospital transfer is necessary, we want...)

SidraJedi · March 2014

Going natural and being in a birth center or at home puts so much of the responsibility of labor and of important medical decisions on the parents. It's empowering and character building and enlightening to take charge of your labor and newborn like that. This does not mean that your midwife and other are providers taking charge of the delivery are any less responsible than an OB in a hospital setting that has a preference for epidurals and C/S. but I think it is hard for some people to grasp that concept. They might think anyone interested in natural birth is an attention seeking masochist who doesn't think realistically about the health of their child. Obviously there are many points of view in between but it is hard to talk to anyone who sees things so diametrically opposite of how you see them.

The way I understand it is you just have to agree to disagree. And when your labor and birthing is all over and done with and it went well and you say you enjoyed it and would do it again, don't be surprised when they either don't believe you, don't care, assume that you are showing off or assume you were just lucky this time.

SidraJedi · March 2014

I didn't mean to sound like a Debbie downer. What I mean is that you can't always convince the naysayers. And if something doesn't go as planned the naysayers might feel more smug if you've been trying to convince them the whole time.

Just make sure you feel confident in your care providers and in your support team and your own body/attitude. Everyone else can just learn to live with the choices you make about your own life.

ETA: typo

mb314 · March 2014

I got a lot of naysaying from our families. Thankfully, we live several hours away from them, so I don't see them often, so the naysaying was kept to a minimum. Honestly, I didn't talk to them that much about it so that I didn't have to hear "you'll ask for an epidural when it comes time," etc. I found that the less I talked to them about it, the happier I was. Also, because they were out of town, we didn't have the pressure to have them in the labor and delivery room. It was just DH and me. Don't invite anyone into the room unless you know they are on board with your birth plan.

I had a very intense, although relatively short (9 hours) labor. I had a baseline of cramping in between contractions, so I never got a break in between contractions, not even in early labor. I was in constant pain. I managed the pain at home by being in the shower. Once I got to the hospital, I got in the labor tub, and that was great for pain management. Even during transition, I never wanted an epidural because I knew that if I got one, I would have to get out of the tub. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the tub because it felt so "nice" (as nice as you can feel in labor). I was lucky that my hospital was very natural-birth friendly and they didn't push any interventions, and the nurses gave me a few tips on breathing and positions. If you're at a birth center, you should also have a great support team.

Good luck! You can do it!

spicysurro · March 2014

I told a couple people and they were hesitant and really didnt have confidence in me, so when they would bring it up I would just say "Unless you have something positive to say then we won't discuss this because all I need from friends and family are support and confidence otherwise its not up for discussion." I think people fear what they aren't sure of. Just be educated in your decision and as long as you and your DH feel that it's what is best for you then other peoples opinions shouldn't matter.

Eve_Angelique · April 2014

It's YOUR body and YOUR birth, you do what you want!!! I had lots of people skeptical too when I told them I was going med free, luckily I did have some support from my SIL who has also got med free for all 5 (!) of her babies. It is just difficult that we live in such a society that is super dependent on medication, that when you decide to go against the grain people are unsupportive. Don't let those people get you down, You can do it momma!! I am forever a believer in med free births most everyone I personally know that has gone med free, has had overwhelmingly wonderful birth experiences....those that choose meds.....end up in c-sections, feel horrible after delivery, or have just had a bad experience in some way. After I gave birth with DS I felt completely on top of the world and had the best high ever, definitely worth it in my book!

jmknox · April 2014

Thanks you guys! I appreciate all of your comments

Want a personalized experience?

Tell me about it

Re: Tell me about it

Choose Another Board

Search Boards