Need to vent about DH anyone else need to vent please join!

NicholeMF87 · March 2014

I don't get around to posting much but try to comment when I can between PA school and being a mom and wife life is rough! So anyway DH comes home tonight and as he walks in the door tells me how the grill cover shouldn't be blown off with it raining when I tell h
I'm sorry I didn't go out on the deck today he didnt say anything, then when I said to him when I saw you pull in the drive way I went to turn on the light and it was out he then said ok well we do have other light bulbs ( I knew it was one of those nights) I just walked away, he then opens the fridge and comments on what I bought today at the super market and asked how much I spent when he already knows I never spend more than what is budgeted for so when I asked what's wrong he's acting funny he goes on to say how he's frustrated that he works so much and doesn't ever get to spend money on himself as in I guess no fun things for him to have idk and because I don't work all financials fall on him full time student in the pa program I can't work. I just don't get him we have a house a beautiful son and I'm in a program where I will most definitely get a good paying job when I'm done I have no debt or bills outside of cell and car insurance nor do I ever ask for money unless it's for food or gas. Is it just my husband who has random bitch fits that he gets up and goes to work 40+ hrs a week and because what I do doesn't bring home money he gets frustrated? Sorry this is a long dear diary rant but man I hate having fingers pointed at me like I could've done better with my time today and being felt picked on by my husband. I really just want to scream but that won't get me anywhere, I don't get why he isn't greatful that I want to better myself so finacialy we won't have to struggle and both provide for our family and take a step back and say Jeeze it's hard to study and keep up grades while having an 8 month old literally attached to my boobs and have the house clean and dinner preped so he can have a hot meal when he comes home ok vent over sorry it's long and I don't always comment and post I'm just having one of those need to turn to someone and don't feel like doing it with my friends or family

amarissa85 · March 2014

Your post is really hard to read. Have you talked to your DH? Perhaps you both need to get some things out in the open.

NicholeMF87 · March 2014

@amarissa85‌ yeah I'm a bit all over the place sorry I get frazzled when I'm upset. I did try talking to him but he seems like he's in such a stubborn man mood that I just went into the bedroom and closed the door, we've talked and he knows I need to finish school he just gets very frustrated that he's the only one bringing in money which I get 100% and tell him how proud I am of him and I do know that it would be much easier if I was working financially but long term (which I don't think he thinks of right now) we need for me to finish school.

kwrecks · March 2014

Those were some long ass sentences. I agree though, sounds like you guys need to sit down and really talk.

Revez · March 2014

Paragraphs are your friend...

I can't say I've been in the same situation. H often tells me that being a mom must be the hardest (but most rewarding) job on the planet. Everyday he tells me he appreciates me taking care of our house and the baby while he's at work.

Your husband should be thanking you for doing all that you do. Just as you appreciate his role in the household he should appreciate your equally as important role. Sounds like he's being a selfish dink. Like pps have said, it's probably time for a talk.

LEMSA · March 2014

I went through PA school. It's a full time job. Seriously. I used to get so stressed that I would pick fights w DH to relieve tension.

Let's be honest, unless you are on scholarship- grades don't matter. Just understand the material and pass.

Good luck w school!

NicholeMF87 · March 2014

Sorry it's hard to do paragraphs while mobile, that's guys DH and I have had this talk before. And it is clear we need to have one again :-/ thank you guys!!

MissyCee · March 2014

Just because you don't contribute financially does not mean you aren't contributing to your household. If your H is focused on financials, maybe sitting down and showing H just how much a good day care for your son would cost would give him an idea of what you're contributing. Not to mention school on top of raising a child is a LOT of work. Really, your H has it easy. Hope you guys can talk through it!

coraggiosa · March 2014

DH is currently supporting us entirely, and I will be starting a 1 year accelerated nursing program in the fall where I will be out of the house at least 50 hours a week. This kind of crap would never fly in my house. Honestly, your H sounds like a brat. He works hard and never gets to spend money on himself? For real?

LokiLahve · March 2014

NicholeMF87 said:
Sorry it's hard to do paragraphs while mobile, that's guys DH and I have had this talk before. And it is clear we need to have one again :-/ thank you guys!!

Not really, just hit the return key.

Like this.

It sounds like you guys have unspoken expectations of each other. Sit down and talk it out. We all have bad weeks here and there. If this is something that happens for an extended amount if time then id say your H needs a reality check. I hope things get better for you soon.

amarissa85 · March 2014

I am a pre med student. For now I do have an income because I get money from the GI Bill but once I hit medical school DH knows I won't be able to work and I won't have an income and we have hashed that all out. That sort of thing wouldn't fly in my home either. I am putting myself through school so that once he is out of the army I will have a good stable job and he won't have to be obligated to stay in if he doesn't want to. He has 5 years left until retirement and med school is about 4 years and I have about a year left until I get my bachelors. I think he needs to get a grip and suck it up. It isn't like this is permanent.

lkobriant · March 2014

I agree with the others. I'm in grad school full time right now and DH is the sole provider. He knows it's a temporary sacrifice for a long term benefit. Does it suck? Yep but we manage. I'm pretty sure I'd rip him a new one of he started complaining about not buying something for himself. Really?! Suck it up cupcake and welcome to adulthood.

NicholeMF87 · March 2014

Sorry my punctuation has offended so many people, I was a bit upset when I was writing and just kept on going. I told him and he knows it's temporary and knew what we were getting into when I applied and got accepted and even before we got married when he knew my education goal. It's not like he makes terrible money but I do agree that he needs a case of beer!!
I've totally have told him by me staying home with our son and breast feeding I've personally saved us a ton of money. I don't think that some
Husbands and right now mine in particular 100% truly grasps how hard yet rewarding staying home is!

PB102012 · March 2014

I am sorry that you are having trouble with DH.

I agree with PP's, punctuation and paragraphs are your friend.

MagPie 1986 · March 2014

When I went through pa school, DH and I had just gotten married and he had an entry level business job. He wasn't making much and we barely made it a lot of months. I can't imagine if we had had a baby, too! If you are in the black each month and paying everything on time right now, I would consider that doing pretty good

so what, if you don't spend a lot on yourselves. Unless you're spending a ton on yourself, just remind him all this is temporary.

My DH an I fought about money quite a bit when I was in pa school and it all stopped once I got a job. Your stressed because of school, he's stressed being the sole provider. Just keep your communication lines open and he needs to not blame you for the current situation - you're in this together. Sorry for the novel; good luck in school

Need to vent about DH anyone else need to vent please join!

Re: Need to vent about DH anyone else need to vent please join!

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