Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
luvboston
member
Re: I hope Irish eyes are smiling tomorrow
ttc #2 since 2004 Me (35): Stage 3 Endo, DH (34): High DNA Frag
IVF/ICSI #2: April 2014: BFP!!!!!!
ET of 2 great quality embryos. + BFP on 9dp5dt. Beta #1 (10dp5dt): 257, Beta #2 (14dp5dt): 1561,
Beta #3 (21dp5d5): 8,172. Wow. It seems this is actually working. Shocked beyond belief.
1st u/s @6w5d: Baby A hb 124, Baby B hb 127 (Both measuring perfectly!)
Lost baby A. Praying that baby B stays healthy. Baby B hb 175 at 11 weeks
It's a GIRL!!!
My Blog
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
Me:29 DH:29 TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues
8/30IVF#1 Antagonist protocol- ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F.
IVF#2 Antagonist protocol plus baby aspirin- ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy, Consulted w Dr. Kwak-Kim.
ER 7/19 14R, 11M, 9F(4 natural fert, 5 with ICSI)
ET 5dt 7/24 2 fully expanded blasts. SURPRISE 3 FROSTIES!!!
Beta #1 8/2 335!!!! Beta #2 829!!! 1st u/s 8/14 showed TWINS!!!!!
3/21/14-L&W born at 37w via csection
Here Comes the Sun Blog
PAIF/SAIF welcome!
First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN
Switching RE
IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH!
BFN
Switching RE's within practice
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI (TTC#1 since 2009)
IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN
Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p
DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN
DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN
DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN
FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p
DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.
FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN
Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus
New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells
FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October
IVF #1: ER 1/23/13- 4 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized; ET with 1 embryo 1/28/13 2 frosties beta #1 2/5 was 4.8- beta #2 2/7 3.5; BFN
FET #1- transferred one beautiful 4AA embie. Praying this is my take home baby. Beta 5/7/13- BFFN!!!
IVF #2: ER 7/17/13: 6R/3F- transferred 1 blast and 1 10 cell embryo 5dt. Beta hell. #1 2.5, #2 2.2- BFFFN! REALLY?
IVF #3: ER 12/1 and only 2 retrieved. 1 fertilized with ICSI. Was planning on transferring one fresh and one frozen....fresh was only 14 cells at day 5...CANCELLED and devastated due to 5cm blood filled cyst in ovary and blood in uterus.
IVF #4: Antagonist protocol with endometrial scratch day one of stims. ER 4/21: 6R/4M/3F- transferred 2 beautiful blasts (5dt) and one was hatching! No frosties but hoping we won't need it! Beta 5/4/14- 444(8dp5dt), Beta #2 10dp5dt 1002! THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!!!!!!!!!! First US 5/15 we saw two of the most beautiful gestational and yolk sacs I have ever seen!
****FINALLY PREGNANT WITH DI/DI TWINS!!!!!!!
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!
TTC#1 since April 2011
IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p
FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN
IVF#2 Oct 2012
16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer
Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657
US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115
US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype
IVF#3 Mar 2013
6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer
ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC
IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN
http://i61.tinypic.com/34zll06IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals!
Sending you tons of doubling vibes......Good luck and can't wait to hear your great number!
TTC summer 2008
Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
Mental health break for 10 months
IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
7 fertilized transferred 3
Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl!
TTC#2 No birth control since DD was born. Getting ready to jump back in the saddle. Weaning this month. RE
appt scheduled 5/8. Here we go again!
11/13 beta #1 924!!! 2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430. First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR
IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response
IVF #2 Nov '11 8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical
IVF #3 April '12 11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c
FET #1 Aug 2012 3dt x2 - BFN
**new RE**
IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN
IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie
9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!
Twin girls! 3/6/14
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
