Faith Friday

schulme2 · March 2014

“I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Romans 1:11-12).

Your spouse/a friend/a group? Who in your life has been most encouraging/helpful in your spiritual path?

Do you find you are in a place to help others yet?

Any new struggles/revelations this week?

LyndseyTS · March 2014

Your spouse/a friend/a group? Who in your life has been most encouraging/helpful in your spiritual path?

Right now it has probably been my husband and a close friend of mine. They keep me on track when I don't feel like talking to (or shouting at) God and try to help me keep things in perspective, if that's possible.

Do you find you are in a place to help others yet?

Not yet, but I would really like to be someday. I feel like being able to help others will help to give meaning to Serenity's short life and honour God at the same time (granted, this is not my first concern right now...I'm working on it).

Any new struggles/revelations this week?

Just how "baby loss" is such an isolating journey to walk (or crawl). There have been so many people who have been here for us always and we are so, so grateful for that, but it's like people just don't know what to say or how to treat you. I'm not good at reaching out because I feel like I'm burdening others, but I feel so alone and just want to talk to others about her and to know that she is/was real and I'm not crazy. Maybe I need to get over not being able to reach out, but it's just a big struggle right now.

ETA: Thank you @schulme2 for doing this thread. It means a lot to me to have a place to be totally honest about my faith journey as I walk through this.

GymSpaz26 · March 2014

Your spouse/a friend/a group? Who in your life has been most encouraging/helpful in your spiritual path? My husband has been encouraging in many ways. The biggest encouragement and support for me have been the ladies from my MOPS group. MOPS is Mothers of Preschoolers, a group at church. I went 2-3 times before having Zedekiah. I didn't know anyone basically. When he passed away, about 20 of the moms (many who I didn't know at all) came to the memorial service. Many signed up and brought us meals, brought me magazines and things to do while I healed from my C-section, sent me messages, and welcomed me back to MOPS if I wanted to be back. I went back and forth over going back to MOPS. The first time I went back, one of the girls from my group picked me up at my apartment so I wouldn't have to go alone. The ladies there (especially in my small group) have loved on me, encouraged me, continue to bring me meals occasionally, have gone out to coffee with me, told me I'm normal when I feel like a crazy person. God has used them to show me over and over again that He is good and that He loves me. These women (who I barely knew before my son's birth) have been and continue to be my lifeline. I'm so thankful for them!

Do you find you are in a place to help others yet? In some ways, yes. I wasn't really at a place until recently where I felt like I could even encourage someone else on here in writing. I've enjoyed starting to feel like I can encourage others again, pray for others. I don't think I would be ready to help someone I know if they were to lose a baby right now. I think I would probably not be much help there yet. I am excited though because at the end of April I will be sharing with the MOPS group. I want to thank them and help them understand how important all the little things they have done for me are. Things that probably seem very insignificant to them have been huge ways that God has reminded me that He is good. I am also going to share some of what God has been doing in my heart as I've walked through these months. (I will be speaking on what would be Zedekiah's six month birthday.)

Any new struggles/revelations this week? I've been missing Zedekiah like crazy. It seems like even more than usual. And I've cried a lot. But at the same time I feel like I'm doing really well. I've had some really good days. And some of those good days have been days where I feel like I'm just really sad and missing my boy. It is a truly odd combination or feelings, but I think it is good.

GymSpaz26 · March 2014

I agree @schulme2 I appreciate this thread!

milb11 · March 2014

LyndseyTS - I can totally relate to feeling like I am burdening others. Every time I bring him up around people, I feel like the air is sucked from the room and everyone tenses. Then I feel like a Debbie Downer. I find peace knowing I can talk about my Elijah here and you ladies will understand.

Your spouse/a friend/a group? Who in your life has been most encouraging/helpful in your spiritual path?

My boyfriend has been very helpful at reminding me that although sometimes we don't understand it, God's will is for the best. When we pray together, he always leads as I'm just not comfortable praying out loud yet.

A few ladies from a church I recently started attending. One lady has experienced a loss and is co-founder of a Christian support group for other women who have experienced loss. She has gone out of her way to reach out to me, even texting me yesterday on my son's due date to say she was thinking of me. I thought that really nice of her as many of my own friends didn't remember the day. Two of the other ladies often send me emails just letting me know that they are praying for me. It helps a lot, especially on bad days.

Do you find you are in a place to help others yet?

Sometimes. There are good days and bad. Days where I feel hopeful and encouraged and able to send positive vibes to others. And then there are bad days where I just want to cry, and rant, and be angry. Those are the days where I find I need the help.

Any new struggles/revelations this week?

Elijah's due date was yesterday. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to the day...cried a lot and got very sad the day before. His EDD wasn't so bad. I cried at his grave, but it was a pretty good day. I feel like that was my little boy sending me good vibes for the day from Heaven.

diamante1181 · March 2014

DH helps me by listening to me and allowing me to say whatever I am feeling at the moment. I have struggled and almost felt crippled spiritually. It really does take time to heal, which I now realize will be a lifelong process.

I have enrolled in school for the fall semester, and honestly I have decided to pursue psychology, specifically to help others with grief and family counseling. I have a long road to go, and I am confident that by the time I finish (a few years ahead of me still), I'll be in a much better position to help others.

I have realized recently that even though time has stood still since the loss of my loves, people forget so quickly that life was lost, and expect you to be apesh!t happy for others' babies. My own father showed me a pic of my cousin's baby, as if I really wanted or should be happy that her baby was a take-home baby. I just don't think that I necessarily have to be jumping for joy at the reminder that I didn't bring home my little ones.

dadalou · March 2014

Your spouse/a friend/a group? Who in your life has been most encouraging/helpful in your spiritual path? There are a few women at my church that I have known for a long time. We have done bible studies together for years. I know that I can call them for anything at any time and they will make the time to talk to me.

Do you find you are in a place to help others yet? Yes. I may cry, but that's ok. I seem to be much more aware of how other people around me are doing now and want to make sure I help them in any way I can.

Any new struggles/revelations this week? I saw a friend yesterday who lives out of town. I had seen her right after we had the memorial service for Nathaniel. Yesterday she almost didn't ask me how I was doing. That made me realize that other people are forgetting him and that made me really sad.

stefuge · March 2014

My best girl friends have been amazing. They listen and they support me and they really encourage my faith. They remember the important dates and they have shared songs and scripture and quotes.

I do feel like I am at a place to help others. At Colton's memorial, MH and I both really felt God leading us to make a declaration of faith and we pray that God can use us to impact those in our life, both believers and non believers. I also try to be fairly open and honest about my faith and my grief on my blog and hope that I can help both those who have suffered a loss and also those who haven't. God is in control and sharing my faith and his steadfastness is really Colton's legacy.

We are house hunting and I realized today that I went in to this kind of feeling like God owed us. This last year really sucked and i was ready for something good, something to be hopeful about, and felt like He took our son, the least He could do was give us our dream house. I realize that's not how it works, and I need to get my heart in the right place with this. I need to be content and grateful for what we are blessed with, not focusing on what I feel like is "owed" because that will never bring happiness.

Edited: mobile bumping is hard.

LyndseyTS · March 2014

@milb11 Agreed. I’m not sure whether it’s just me reading into the situation in the room, or if people really are super uncomfortable. Either way, it makes it challenging when I feel like my job has always been to keep the peace and hold everyone together. It sounds like you can relate! Your post also inspired me because I’m starting to feel like I’m coming to place where I can help others sometimes. I like that “sometimes” is okay and probably better than never.

@stefuge Do you mind sharing your blog? I’m considering starting one in lieu of a journal and would love to read yours if it’s public. If not, that’s totally okay too!

Also, I love your declaration of faith. I want to be there, but I’m just not (and definitely wasn’t at the memorial). I admire you for being able to do that. Good luck with your house hunt, even if God doesn’t owe you, I hope you DO get your dream house.

ETA: I should probably learn to read signatures...found your blog! I'm a bright one sometimes.

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