LGBT Parenting

Saturday morning vent

Hi all.  I'm feeling really bummed.  Our home study provider had to cancel again.  For good reason - her father had a heart attack last night.  So, I certainly understand and am empathetic to what she is going through.  I just feel near tears.  I'm at least grateful that we live in a state that allows same-sex second parent adoption, but it just feels so insulting to have to go through a process for someone else to "approve" for her to be his parent in the legal sense when she has been as much of a parent as me since the moment he was conceived.  I'm ready to be done with this and move on with the rest of our lives and it keeps getting delayed.  In the big scheme of things, I know this isn't a big deal, but I'm just feeling really disappointed this morning and needed to get it out.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Saturday morning vent

  • Ug!! You have every right to feel thus way. Obviously she has to put family first, but I agree the whole second parent adoption thing is a blessing but very insulting too. Hang in, you're almost there and the your whole family is legally secure, which I'd worth it. But I'm sorry for the delay and frustration. Gr!
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

  • Loading the player...
  • Thank you for the support. 

    Been talking/texting with my sister this morning.  My mom and stepdad are in Dallas visiting her this weekend, and my mom woke up feeling like she had been drugged to use her words.  I spoke with her and her speech was slurred.  They called my dad (who is a doctor) and he recommended they to to the ER.  So, they are there now.  She score a 0 stroke scale, which is good.  She's having blood work done and is getting a cat scan.  I'm hoping it's something minor.  It's just very strange - my mother is very healthy.  I'm trying not to get too worried yet.  What a Saturday.

    @2mamazinseattle - how did your dad's surgery go?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm sorry on all fronts. I hope that things can get back on track quickly for the adoption. I also hope that your Mom is going to be ok. Please let us know.

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

  • I'm sorry you're having such a terrible day. I hope the home visit gets rescheduled quickly and that your mom is okay.

    Me: 28 DW: 28

    Together since 5/30/02. Married since 8/31/08

    IUI#1 - 12/13/13 = BFN

    IUI#2 - 1/22/14 = BFN

    IUI#3 - 2/21/14 = BFN

    IUI#4 - 3/23/14

  • Ugh.  What a pain on the adoption front!  I agree, I find the whole second-parent adoption thing so insulting.  I hope everything is fine with your mom!  I'm glad she is getting checked out.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • What a rough day! Sending lots of positive energy down your way.
    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
  • I'm sorry about the home study cancelation and I hope everything is okay with your mom! The home study nuisance is such a burden and ridiculous, it must feel extra crappy to have to draw it out. I hope the day improves and you get good news about what's going on with your mom.

    A & K, married 7/1/13.

    After 10 months of ttc via medicated IUIs and two early losses, we finally got our boys- Perfect premie twins born 5/27/14.

     

     

  • KH826KH826 member
    Oh my goodness - what a day! I am so sorry about the frustrations with your home study (totally justified!), and I will be thinking of your mom - please keep us posted. Hope all is well tonight and it was just a fluke incident...

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Thank you everyone. Late this afternoon all signs were pointing to my mom getting released tonight, but this evening a radiologist spotted something indicating a mini-stroke. They will keep her in the hospital for a couple more days. She's fine - her symptoms from this morning are almost resolved, but she's scared - her own father died at 49 from a stroke (my mom is 64). I've talked to my dad and he has reassured me a bit. A mini-stroke isn't necessarily indicative of a more serious event occurring. And the doctors in Dallas are being thorough and will look for/addresss any risk factors she may have. Z and I think we're going to head to Dallas tomorrow if we can figure out logistics. So, not good news, but she really is ok right now and I'm thankful it's nothing worse. Of course, anything that reminds us of our parents' mortality is tough. Thanks for all the warm thoughts.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry to hear the latest update on your moms condition.  I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I hope she recovers without further incident. 

    I was going to reply to your first post about the frustrating situation getting  your wife and Ash's other parent "qualified" via adoption.  It just seems so unfair to have to go through this process, and I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out.  But since it probably pales in comparison to everything else going on I just wanted to send out a huge HuG.
  • JGYJGY member

    While I'm so sorry that your Mom is going through this (and you are as well), I'm glad that they actually found something to explain her symptoms and that it's something that they can treat.  I still wish you/she didn't have to experience it though.

    I agree 100% about the second parent adoption.  It's incredibly insulting.  Perhaps it's just because we're in MN vs. TX, but our lawyer was able to get the home study waived for us.  Is that a possibility for you?  Never hurts to ask the question or have your lawyer ask around and see what other lawyers have been able to do ...

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

    image

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"