MMC question (sig warning and mention of DDs)

bim38106 · March 2014

Hi all. I was just diagnosed with a missed m/c. Went in for a regular check up at 8.5 weeks and baby barely measured 6 weeks, no h/b. I know my dates were right as I was charting and got my + on Feb. 21 (after being told by my OB that I wouldn't be able to get PG without medical intervention), so there's no way that could be right. Had my betas drawn again today and going back in for an u/s to confirm loss on Monday. Obviously I will discuss this with my OB then, but I hate not knowing so I thought I'd see if anyone had any experience, or advice...

I think I'd like to ask for a d&c, as my friends who have gone through this all did and suggested it. But there is so much conflicting information out there. I should probably stop googling!
My main concern at this point is that we're taking my 4 y/o and 6 y/o to Chicago this Friday for Spring Break. Lots of walking around... am I even going to be able to do that?! I'm sure everyone's experiences are different.. I don't know if I should wait to m/c naturally and risk it happening while there, or do a d&c asap, or what.... guess I'll know more after I talk to my OB on Monday, but I was hoping for some insight before then.

Sorry to everyone who is on this board and has gone/is going through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone

ambmama · March 2014

Ticker warning.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I found out at 8 weeks that I had a m/c and baby was measuring 6 weeks, so the dates are similar. I did have a natural m/c, but it happened literally a day after I had heard the hb so it happened before I knew. I had pain and a lot of bleeding - the worst part, I think, was walking around wearing a pad and clots coming out (sorry if tmi). When that happened all I wanted to do was run to the bathroom to clean up. Could I have made it in public? Sure, but would be been uncomfortable. However, I understand you bleed quite a bit after a d/c, so either way you might be uncomfortable. I would ask your doc third thoughts. If it was me, I would probably get the d/c so I knew what to expect, but I haven't personally had one so other women here might have better advice on that. ((Hugs!))

bim38106 · March 2014

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss as well.

I forgot to mention that I did start having some sharp spasm-y back pains on and off today. They seem to have subsided, but nothing else is going on. At this point, I just wish the physical part would start already. I know in my heart that it's over, but I hate the limbo of waiting around for my OB to confirm what we already know. The pains were bad enough that I couldn't walk through them.

stephy1221 · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

If the travel can not be avoided I personally would opt for the D&C. As you say everyone is different but I felt pretty good after mine. There was bleeding and cramping in the following days but nothing ibuprofen couldn't handle. The worst part was the constipation from the anesthesia. Stool softeners helped.

Your doctor may advise you though on limiting the walking.

That being said I had my d&c because at my one week appointment after discovering the heart stopped beating there was no progress at all and knowing a natural miscarriage could take weeks made me really think how much longer I could walk around pregnant but not having a baby.

So physically in my case either way I think I would have been okay with the trip.

Emotionally is a whole other story.

gabbagal · March 2014

I have had both a natural m/c and a D&C. Usually, the further along you were, the harder it is to do naturally (though all experience as different). For me, I only bled for a week total after the natural (baby had only made it to 5 weeks), and two weeks after the D&C (baby made it to 9 weeks). The D&C is a quick and "easy" way to reset, especially if you haven't shown signs of doing things naturally. I think it would be manageable to do naturally at your stage, but If you're worried about timing, a D&C might be a good way to go. Also, worth noting is sometimes when you do it naturally, it doesn't all come out and you end up needed a D&C anyway, which has happened to women on this board. Good luck whichever way you choose, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you'll still be able to enjoy Chicago with your family.

ambmama · March 2014

@bim38106‌ I'm so sorry - the waiting was honestly the worst part for me too. I'm only a few days out from my bleeding stopping from my natural m/c, but the healing (both physically and emotionally) I've felt since then has been so much more than during the waiting phase (no matter if you are waiting for answers, results, or nature). I am waiting on bloodwork to make sure I don't need any further treatment, but I feel much more at peace that nature has taken it's course. Again - just hoping for you that it's quick and relatively easy, no matter what decision you make.

meredithcarole · March 2014

I had a missed miscarriage. I was 9.5 weeks and the fetus measured between 6 and 7. I was cramping horribly, but not bleeding so I opted for the D&C. For me it was the right thing, I couldn't go on being that physically miserable with no end in sight. I was back up and moving (though still easily worn out) within 3 days of the procedure.

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

Physical activity can make the bleeding worse, so be prepared to schedule in time to rest.

My d&c was complicated (which is rare), so I can't really attest for you in a relevant way. I felt horrible for a week afterwards, but I think a lot of that wouldn't have happened if it went normally.

Another option is to take cytotec to miscarry without the d&c.

Either way, I would ask your doctor about travel.

I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))

bim38106 · March 2014

Thanks girls. I really appreciate the insight and you taking the time to respond.

@AggieBeth06, I'm sorry to hear your D&C had complications...like this isn't hard enough as it is

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

It sucked, but the whole process sucks for all of us.

(((Hugs)))

bim38106 · March 2014

thanks @qanda2013. Our hotel reservations are nonrefundable and nontransferable (DH got some deal on it). Not cheap in Chicago

I guess I'll have to wait and see what my OB says tomorrow and make a last minute decision... I wouldn't even know how to explain to my kids that we couldn't go on vacation when they've been looking forward to it for so long. This all just sucks.

nohalo21 · March 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 18 weeks. The doc feels that she passed around 16 weeks. I had cramping, spotting, and backache. I made the decision to be induced and not wait it out. I didn't like the unknown and looked at what would be best for me at this point. Even though I thought my body had started the process, when I went in for delivery there was no progress.

Unfortunately it is not an easy process. I'm sure you will make the best choice for you and your family.

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

Hopefully you can still go, and I know it would be hard not to go... Hard to break it to the kids, but it would be horrible to deal with complications away from your medical team and home. Truly only you and your doctor can make the best decision on that.

(((Hugs)))

AprSnow59 · March 2014

So sorry for your loss. Ive done both and no one can really answer this but you and your doctor. I waited over three weeks from discovering no heartbeat to when I finally passed everything but from what I've read and heard, it happens a lot faster for others. No two miscarriages are the same. After my natural miscarriage I was pretty weak so walking around town would have been tough but same goes for how I'm feeling after the d&c. I hope you are able to come to a decision you are comfortable with. Good luck and ((hugs))

gabbagal · March 2014

Good luck at your appointment today @bim38106, let us know how it goes and what you decide.

MelissaL121 · March 2014

I am so sorry. I am sure no two women are the same but I felt pretty good after my D&C. I was more emotionally drained than anything. I didn't have too much bleeding but had some moderate cramping for several days.

akleng · March 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! I can't speak to the recovery from the D&C, but I did travel while having a mc. We went in for our second doctor appointment at 11 weeks to discover the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. We were leaving the next day for a long weekend in Florida with friends, which our doctor knew about. The doctor advised that I let it happen naturally and said it would be like a heavy period, so we figured we were still OK to travel. We packed a ton of overnight pads and just hoped that it wouldn't start while we were on the plane (I'm pretty sure I also cried during the entire flight). I had the mc the next day and ended up going to the emergency room because the bleeding and cramping were so bad. In a way, I'm almost glad I wasn't at home because I more associate the mc with Florida and not our condo. No two women are the same, but I just thought I'd share my experience.

My heart goes out to you!

JCM285 · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I had both a D&C and a natural m/c. I was not given a choice for the D&C because I had a molar pregnancy but if I had been asked to choose, I would have tried to m/c naturally the first time. It was not a bad experience for me, but every ones body is different. Good luck in making your decision and welcome to the board.

bim38106 · March 2014

Thanks again everyone. My OB suggested that I have a D&C. She said that at this point, since it's been 3 weeks, we just don't know when my body would recognize it...it could be tomorrow or 3 months from now, so she'd suggest a D&C anyway. I have it scheduled for noon tomorrow and she seems to think I'll be fine for traveling by Friday. FX all goes smoothly.

gabbagal · March 2014

Good luck! FX for a quick and easy recovery.

KingLED · March 2014

Good luck tomorrow. And FX for a speedy recovery.

Also, just a heads up to make sure you bring some pads with you for after the surgery. They never tell you to and then send you home in the ones that are like 3" thick and make you feel like you're wearing a diaper. Plus you'll likely need them for after, so better to be prepared ahead of time.

MMC question (sig warning and mention of DDs)

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