Our LO is constantly fussy, crying, won't sleep for us, her parents. But whenever either of her grandmas come to watch her she's a perfect angel. No lie. Perfect.
Example: Yesterday my MIL came to stay & watch LO. She napped all afternoon, was awake and happy in the evening, slept from 10pm to 3am, and I didn't even hear her cry ONCE until grandma left at 10am - then it was an hour of crying!
Similar experience when my mom watches her.
I swear, she just hates us. What are the grandmas doing that we aren't? Do they have magical powers?
Re: Our baby hates us / grandmas are magic
Well did you ask the grandmas what they were doing different? My moms style of feeding and putting LO to sleep is nothing like mine but both work for us so perhaps something they do?
I don't think you're doing anything wrong, and I SWEAR dd does this with me. Dh comes home and she's happy happy after crying for me all day.
But it's worth it to see what grandma's do. Are they snuggling her longer? Letting her fuss a moment in her crib before grabbing her and she falls back to sleep? Dressing her more warmly? If they've figured out something that works, use it!
DS3 is good for me but fussy for DH, and I think it's because I'm relaxed with him while DH is STILL clueless about what babies want
They love us more. They aren't as interested or engaged with grandparents, they dont want to stay awake to babble, and they don't feel as secure in their attachment with them to express discomforts as quickly.
This might be true for older babies more so than brand new babes, but I like to think they feel more comfortable with us, and that's why they express themselves more.
So in short, baby loves you more and wants to see you more, therefore... sleep until grandma goes away and mom is back:)
Your LO does not hate you. As what other PPs have said, watch what the grandparents are doing and do that. Also, take lots of deep breaths and control any anxiety you may have.
I have been called the baby whisperer because I'm pretty good at making crying babies happy. My sister would call me to come help with her colicky firstborn. Trust me, I never would have thought I would be this way when I had my first. I couldn't make that kid happy for the first three months for anything.
Hang in there and keep your head up.