Vent and a WWYD?

ASmallWonder · March 2014

When we bought our house (three years ago this August), my ILs said they wanted to build DS1 a wooden swingset/playscape. Awesome. Fast forward to about a month ago and with all the springs and falls that have gone by, no swingset (DS1 is now almost 4 so it would be a great thing to have). DH and I brought it up to the ILs as a "Hey we were thinking we'd get the boys a swingset this fall but we remember you mentioning it and don't want to step on your toes." They say again that they plan to do it but no time frame is given.

We live directly across from a playground. It was old and decrepit but it had a slide and swings and since we have neither, we spend a lot of time over there. We came home yesterday to find all the equipment gone because the town is paving it. That's the vent. I'm PISSED.

So, now the issue of a swingset is bigger because I really want the boys to have one for this spring/summer/fall. It would be a major stretch for us to buy this swingset for the boys since we haven't been planning on it. But now the ILs have a bunch of home projects planned and things that very likely mean they aren't planning on doing the swingset anytime soon. What do we do? Ask again? Just buy one? Suck it up and wait until who knows when because they said they're doing it? They're awesome to us and I'm grateful they want to buy it but it's been almost three years...

TL:DR - how long do you wait for someone to fulfill a promise to buy you/your kids something they could use ASAP before just buying it yourself?

jesuisfatiguee · March 2014

mbenit4 said:

I would buy one. Get the metal not wood kind. It's cheaper. I was anti this kind at first but it has been awesome. That way you can get what you want without breaking the bank. Then you can plan for the wooden one.

This is what I would suggest, too. Also, let your ILs know what you're doing, so they don't feel insulted.

jorkz821 · March 2014

Can you bring it up in a roundabout way, like "oh geez, did you hear the city paved over the park across the street?" Maybe they figured since you guys go there so much, you didn't really need/want one of your own? In any case, I'd prob end up buying my own by like May or June.

azmama20 · March 2014

jorkz821 said:

Can you bring it up in a roundabout way, like "oh geez, did you hear the city paved over the park across the street?" Maybe they figured since you guys go there so much, you didn't really need/want one of your own? In any case, I'd prob end up buying my own by like May or June.

This is probably what I would do, say something along the lines of "Hey did you see that the park across the street got paved over? DS is super disappointed he no longer has sings and a slide to play on." And if they ignore your hint then do as PP suggested of buying your own and letting them know what you're buying. I'm not usually for passive aggressive type conversation or hints, but it's not like you can come out and demand for them to buy your kid a playground, you know?

missymo · March 2014

Just be honest! Tell them what happened to the park and then explain that you want the kids to have a play set for this summer. Remind them they wanted to buy them one, and then flat out ask if they will be doing so. If they say no, you can tell them you intend to get one. Easy!

littlestjerry · March 2014

I agree with telling them you're buying one. If this were my inlaws, they would do the same thing with the foot dragging just because they talk about a lot, but they don't actually do most of it. But my inlaws would also probably just then give us some money after we bought one. Maybe not cover the whole thing, but help us out. I don't know if yours would do that.

MrsCodeMonkey · March 2014

Can you buy a small version that the ILs could add to? By the way, the huge wooden things are a pain in the ass to install. DH helped a friend with installing theirs and it took forever. If we end up getting one we'll save up to pay for the installation.

angelashly · March 2014

Ditto Craigslist/ community sale. I wouldn't worry about telling them, but my so parents are known for not following through.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

They've built them for other family members before is they know what they're in for

I just know that telling them we are buying one will irritate them. I think DH and I are going to go with "do you think we could build the playscape the weekend you're here for ds's birthday?" If they say no we will let them know that we are going to buy something to hold us over since we lost the park.

pdh2008 · March 2014

I'd also go the honest route. Tell them, "The playground across the street was paved, so we'd really like to get the kids that swingset. We don't want to step on your toes, so we wanted to mention it to you before buying."

ASmallWonder · March 2014

I can't even tell you guys how mad I am about the playground. It was old but not unsafe. There's a huge baseball field and soccer/lacrosse field behind it (with a parking lot. In the fall and spring they have tournaments there and the parking situation is horrible. They rope off the playground and let people park on the grass (fine) and the tiny street we're on is overrun with cars. So they decided to pave the whole damn thing for extra parking for, I shit you not, maybe 4 weekends a YEAR. So now my house will face a fucking paved paradise. We are directly across from it.

venussapphire · March 2014

I would buy one. How many years are you supposed to wait.

RondackHiker · March 2014

Could you use the parking lot for bike riding? That's so upsetting. :-(

Kitiara5512 · March 2014

Suck it up and buy one, or put one on layaway if possible, and mention it to the ILs to see if they offer (dont ask, let them offer) to do a couple of payments. If you wait around on them, your kids may not get one for a couple of years. You may have to settle for a cheaper one than you wanted, or you could save to get one by fall.

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