The talk...

Re: The talk...

• slwprincess member

  March 2014

  Do you have a will/living will? If not, I highly recommend doing both ASAP. Print one off the internet, write it out, or whatever- just do SOMETHING. This was very important to our parents prior to me having my first and I'm thankful they pushed us to have this conversation. My dad died when I was 3. DHs mom died when he was 15. Our parents lived through those choices and understand the difficulty. My FIL gave us the program to do ours on the computer and just going thru the questions together really helped me consider things I hadn't before. Have the talk and get it done. It's strangely liberating after.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

   

  
  

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• jaysears member

  March 2014

  Thank you.  We don't have a living will, but we both have life insurance.  I will get on it. 

         
  

  
  

  
  

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• mysticl member

  March 2014

  My husband and I had the talk a couple of years ago about life support and organ donation.  When the decision was made that I would have c-section I told my husband to let me die to save the baby and how to get in touch with my father's family to inform them of my death.  My father is dead and my mother doesn't have contact with them so they would need notified.  I was absolutely convinced I would die on that table.  That is the reason that if we have another child I am changing doctors and hospitals so I can attempt a VBAC.  

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• mysticl member

  March 2014

  savannah_girl said:

  As an RN I suggest all people have a Living Will/Power of Attorney. It makes your loved ones life easier in case something happens. Not just in surgery, but in life. You are more like to get hit by a car and be in a coma than you are to have a significant situation in surgery. 
  Don't make your family argue and debate this decision for you, it gives them a lot of guilt.

  
  

  And just talking about it does not count, it needs to be an official paper. Each state has their own requirements. 
  
  As for your Dr saying if XYZ happens, we can do this. She/he LEGALLY has to go over that. That is part of 'informed consent". It is unethical for her/him to just have you sign it, they have to verbalize it. However, her tone/attitude/word usage (kid) could be different. But she has to talk about the other stuff. Does that stuff happen, very very rarely (thank God). 

  A nurse shoved a clipboard with a consent form on it in front of me.  Everyone was way more concerned with the fact that the Anesthesiologist allowed me to keep my bra on when she placed the epidural than with my giving informed consent.  There were phone calls about the bra and people scurrying up and down the hall to deal with the bra situation.  

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• nolagal79 member

  March 2014

  This post reminds me that my husband and I definitely need to write our wills/living wills. The only thing we have talked about is that if anything happens to me that I do not him to take our daughter away from my family (in Louisiana) where we live and go back to his family (in Ohio). He agreed and said that he likely wouldn't want to go back home, but I definitely want it in writing. I want her raised around my family either their vales - definitely not around my MIL for MANY reasons. 

  

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• mysticl member

  March 2014

  
  

  savannah_girl said:

  mysticl said:

  savannah_girl said:

  As an RN I suggest all people have a Living Will/Power of Attorney. It makes your loved ones life easier in case something happens. Not just in surgery, but in life. You are more like to get hit by a car and be in a coma than you are to have a significant situation in surgery. 
  Don't make your family argue and debate this decision for you, it gives them a lot of guilt.

  
  

  And just talking about it does not count, it needs to be an official paper. Each state has their own requirements. 
  
  As for your Dr saying if XYZ happens, we can do this. She/he LEGALLY has to go over that. That is part of 'informed consent". It is unethical for her/him to just have you sign it, they have to verbalize it. However, her tone/attitude/word usage (kid) could be different. But she has to talk about the other stuff. Does that stuff happen, very very rarely (thank God). 

  A nurse shoved a clipboard with a consent form on it in front of me.  Everyone was way more concerned with the fact that the Anesthesiologist allowed me to keep my bra on when she placed the epidural than with my giving informed consent.  There were phone calls about the bra and people scurrying up and down the hall to deal with the bra situation.  

  I am assuming that this was for a Stat C/S? 
  When a scheduled one is done, the Dr does it in their office before hand and has to go over this will you. However an emergent one/Stat one, is treated slightly different. 
  As for your bra, two things. You personal clothes can increase a risk of infection (minor but still there), and some laundry soaps hold static. Which increases the risk for a spark/fire.

  If there was any metal in it, the Bovi can seriously burn you. 

  Well the surgical team was at home and had to be called into the hospital.  So no it wasn't stat.  The OB told whoever made the phone calls to tell them it was "urgent".  My CS was for failure to progress AKA failure to wait.  

  
  

  I understand why I couldn't wear the bra.  It was just that everyone acted like it was the end of the world that I was wearing it and that it was the worst thing that ever happened and they couldn't believe I was wearing one and it had to be discussed by everyone and the whole nursing team was figuring out what to do….instead of you know just removing it.  The nurse who removed it was very frustrated because people kept interrupting her to tell/ask her about the bra instead of just letting her remove it.  

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