WDYT?

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

First - I outsource all my birthday parties. Never had one at our house. But when I do this, I always make sure that any food I plan to have is available to both kids and adults, and a pitcher of beer for parents, as well. Do you think it's a little odd for a birthday invitation to specify that there will be pizza for the kids, only?

Truth be told, I very rarely eat any pizza at Chuck E Cheese or where ever, but some parents do if it's over the lunch hour. I would never plan to order only enough food for the kids, let alone specifically say that parents can't have any.

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

Well, there's an ongoing debate around here about whether alcohol at a kid's party is common courtesy/being a good host or hedonistic/irresponsible parenting, but for the sake of argument assume that in my circle, it's the former.

thechickencoop · March 2014

So....it's not a drop-off party but they're not feeding the parents? Weird. Rude...? Why wouldn't you want to eat too?

Oh...team alcohol at kids parties FWIW.

LoriLee14 · March 2014

I do not think it is weird that there would only be pizza that is available for both the kids and adults attending to eat. I would never expect an "adult" meal (and would probably prefer pizza)

I would not worry about telling everyone in the invite. They can either eat it or grab something after. they are adults

Mrs.Greg · March 2014

So no food for the parents? Gotta be honest, I'd expect to have a slice of pizza with my beer

joyfullyfound · March 2014

Yeah, odd. I mean, if the parents are there over lunch time I think it's a little rude to not offer them anything to eat. I would ever state on an invitation that the food was for kids only... if the parents are expected to come, they're my guests too.

jillyjill1026sr · March 2014

I find it odd. Is it a drop-off party? How old are the kids? I have rarely been to a kids' party that didn't involve alcohol (not like getting super drunk and crazy, but having a drink or two is totally the norm around here). I have never been to a kids' party that didn't include food for all the guests.

LoriLee14 · March 2014

oh reading fail. Food for all even if it is just pizza

bumpuser924057 · March 2014

Yeah, that is way uncool. Feed all your guests!

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

gwapes said:

LoriLee14 said:

I do not think it is weird that there would only be pizza that is available for both the kids and adults attending to eat. I would never expect an "adult" meal (and would probably prefer pizza)
I would not worry about telling everyone in the invite. They can either eat it or grab something after. they are adults

Correct. I'm reading it as the invitation states the pizza is only for the kids

Which, yeah, kind of weird/rude

gwapes said:

LoriLee14 said:

I do not think it is weird that there would only be pizza that is available for both the kids and adults attending to eat. I would never expect an "adult" meal (and would probably prefer pizza)
I would not worry about telling everyone in the invite. They can either eat it or grab something after. they are adults

I'm reading it as the invitation states the pizza is only for the kids

Which, yeah, kind of weird/rude

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

My quote function just did something really weird. Meant to say, Gwapes is correct.

notkateanymore · March 2014

I think it's very odd and crappy hosting. I bet you're not getting beer either.

hokies94 · March 2014

That's just rude. If you expect parents to stay at the party you need to at least offer to feed them.

Generally most parents that have stayed at parties don't eat or eat very little, but you absolutely need to have something for them.

If I was expecting most parents to drop off and a few stayed then maybe it might be ok but to state it up front on the invitation is just plain rude.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

I think it is rude not to feed parents, but have been to several parties where this is the case.

jenniann87 · March 2014

I think it is rude to not feed the parents if it isn't a drop off party and they are expected to stay. Whether it is at meal time or not. With that said I have been to a few bday parties where it Was at lunch time and they only served cake and Ice cream for the kids, no pizza burgers or sandwiches. Weird. We always feed everyone who attends and usually have a good head count ahead of time to prepare.

CountryMile · March 2014

My SIL says, 'food for kids only' on her kid's invite every year. Every year DH and I have a conversation about how rude it sounds.

I am having a party soon for DS and we plan on ordering extra pizza for everyone.

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

For the record, I'm not all up in arms about it. We'll go, I can do without the pizza, anyway. I just thought it was...interesting.

ariel06 · March 2014

Rude. I'd probably still take my kids, but be annoyed.

DS1 is going to his first drop off party. 8 kindergartners for two hours Saturday afternoon for a superhero party at their house. Very brave.

Carter is already planning who he wants to invite to his birthday party, which won't be until July.

raraavis28 · March 2014

When I first read this I thought you were getting beer and no pizza and thought "Um ok, that's odd but party on?" Then I realized you're not getting pizza or beer....what a lousy party!! :-p

Yeah, I think if you're planning for adults to stay, you should have refreshments for them too.

lyingliarlies · March 2014

any party we've been to where pizza was served included parents as well. we've been to a few parties at non-meal times where there's snacks like fruit, pretzels, chips etc. and it didn't really seem like enough food for all the parents to eat too, so i just didn't have any & was annoyed. i do like for the host to specifically offer parents some cake/cupcakes, otherwise i worry that they didn't plan on offering & i feel like a mooch (but really what is a birthday party without cake?!?)

if for whatever reason they aren't providing a meal at a meal time, yes it's odd but i'd much rather know & not show up hungry.

rosesandpetals · March 2014

She probably thinks this is a brilliant idea to save money.

zbeesma86 · March 2014

Team feed everyone & beer for adults.

Could you imagine getting an invite that says eat before hand. We are only feeding the kids. Haha

wellfleet04 · March 2014

How old is the birthday kid? My kids are turning 7 and 5 this year, and I haven't expected to be fed at a party they are invited to for a couple of years now. All of the parties are drop off beginning at age 5 (younger for younger siblings). My youngest has been to only drop off parties this year when his friends were all turning 4 because most of them are younger sibs and the parents are used to dropping off.

I have never been to an "outsourced" party with food for the adults (jump around, arcade, etc). It's just assumed that the kids are dropped off so no need for adult food. Home parties past about age 3 when parents are expected to stay, same deal. I do think it's weird to put it on the invitation, but I don't think it's rude not to feed parents at older kids' birthday parties where they are not expected to stay.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

wellfleet04 said:

How old is the birthday kid? My kids are turning 7 and 5 this year, and I haven't expected to be fed at a party they are invited to for a couple of years now. All of the parties are drop off beginning at age 5 (younger for younger siblings). My youngest has been to only drop off parties this year when his friends were all turning 4 because most of them are younger sibs and the parents are used to dropping off.

I have never been to an "outsourced" party with food for the adults (jump around, arcade, etc). It's just assumed that the kids are dropped off so no need for adult food. Home parties past about age 3 when parents are expected to stay, same deal. I do think it's weird to put it on the invitation, but I don't think it's rude not to feed parents at older kids' birthday parties where they are not expected to stay.

my kids are the sane age and that is NOT the norm here at all.

notkateanymore · March 2014

CountryMile said:

My SIL says, 'food for kids only' on her kid's invite every year. Every year DH and I have a conversation about how rude it sounds.

I am having a party soon for DS and we plan on ordering extra pizza for everyone.

I'd have to eat something...every year.

jf198400 · March 2014

Most parties we have been to that are at kid venues, they serve pizza and cake to the kids first, and then the adults are welcome to have whatever is left over. Most adults don't want to really eat much at these parties, and I always go under the assumption that I may not eat/ eat a little bit. They are only 2hr parties anyways and generally in the middle of the afternoon. I would find it very odd to see an invite that said food for kids only, but i wouldn't get upset about it.

wellfleet04 · March 2014

Andrewsgal said:

wellfleet04 said:

How old is the birthday kid? My kids are turning 7 and 5 this year, and I haven't expected to be fed at a party they are invited to for a couple of years now. All of the parties are drop off beginning at age 5 (younger for younger siblings). My youngest has been to only drop off parties this year when his friends were all turning 4 because most of them are younger sibs and the parents are used to dropping off.

I have never been to an "outsourced" party with food for the adults (jump around, arcade, etc). It's just assumed that the kids are dropped off so no need for adult food. Home parties past about age 3 when parents are expected to stay, same deal. I do think it's weird to put it on the invitation, but I don't think it's rude not to feed parents at older kids' birthday parties where they are not expected to stay.

my kids are the sane age and that is NOT the norm here at all.

I guess it's just different. I've never been to an outsourced party that allowed pitchers of beer on the premises, so that seems different to me. The vast majority of parties--in home and outsourced--that my kids have been to in the last couple of years have been either just cake (from 2-3:30 pm or something) or pizza then cake. There is usually enough pizza left over that it gets offered to the adults who stick around or show up early to pick up, but no one ever eats it even when offered, and I don't think anyone expects to be eating a full meal. Most of us have other kids who are not invited to the party so we drop and pick up quickly because we have to hang out with the sibling. Sounds like maybe the parties here switch to drop off on the younger side.

I've done big 1st and 3rd birthday parties for my kids at home, and at those I had a full meal for everyone (BBQ, burrito bar, etc) and booze. But once the parties switched to drop off, it is the norm here for the food to be just for kids.

AprilLVE · March 2014

I think it's weird and inhospitable to not offer food and drink to everyone who is in your home or at an event your hosting. I think in general, hospitality is undervalued by too many people.

MooOink · March 2014

When I was younger I worked at a bowling alley place and weekends were filled with kids parties. The party packages were charged on a per child basis, which included the food. We did have a few rare hosts who made sure to purchase extra food for the adults. But for the majority it was only food for the kids and thanks to our manager, I had the awkward job as the hostess of having to tell parents who were eating the food that it was for kids only. Sometimes even the party host would ask me to tell them to stop eating it.

The whole thing is confusing and uncomfortable.

On a similar topic, how do you know when it's a drop off or parents stay party? Is that indicated on the invitation?

bumpuser8448316 · March 2014

I think it's rude. And if you cant afford to feed everyone then you need to invite less people or plan a different party. Also, team alcohol

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