Moms who lost infants come in...(baby loss mentioned)

Re: Moms who lost infants come in...(baby loss mentioned)

• jonahsma member

  March 2014

  I think that is very thoughtful of you to want to do something for the family. I think that getting together and making them meals would also be a great idea. I remember not even wanting to cook, sometimes I still don't want to. So I think that would be something that could help. ((Hugs))

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• ikrystal member

  March 2014

  You already have such great ideas.  My husband and I took a small trip to Huntington Beach after the boys' memorial so we could just get away from all the visitors at our house at be together. Medical bills was a huge burden as well.  @jonahsma - making meals is a wonderful idea.  I didn't cook anything for about two months after the boys passed away.  One big thing for us was we had people running errands for us.  I didnt want to leave the house, and I really think I was too much of a mess to drive.  I've heard of agencies running errands for people on bed rest before, but maybe as a group you could offer to get things done for them?  Thats just an idea, obviously it is time consuming.  If you wanted to help towards medical bills, you could put together some kind of memorial fund that anyone can donate to (including other people from the church).  That would be touching to do something in honor of their baby and they could use that money however they need to.  

  Fish Bite Moonbeams:Blog on infant loss and infertility

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• schulme2 member

  March 2014

  I think that's very thoughtful!
  
  You could start https://takethemameal.com/ and have church members sign up. It was nice to know when/what we were getting for dinner.
  
  I would think that and money would be the most helpful.

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• GymSpaz26 member

  March 2014

  Our son passed away unexpectedly at 3.5 days. I'd also had a C-section and was recovering from that as well. Meals were huge for us. We were provided meals for about 5-6 weeks 3-4 times a week with enough for leftovers. (I think people were told to make enough for 4). I remember thinking at the time that 6 weeks was going to be too long. Yesterday was 5 months from our son's birth and I am just getting back into a routine of actually cooking instead of just heating up things from the freezer. So occasionally even long after that 6 weeks some people still gave us meals or frozen meals and I appreciated it so much!

  Other ideas... Maybe a group could get together and help them with house cleaning or yard projects on a Saturday or something. Especially since they've been at the hospital so long they probably have tons of things that just haven't really been taken care of for a long time. (Maybe wait until a week or two after their memorial though). And even offer a Saturday or a half day once or twice a month for the next few months.

  Groceries (ask first!). Money definitely. I would just say something like we know you've had a lot of unexpected expenses and we want to bless you with this to help. We were given a couple gift cards to restaurants and even a gift card for a manicure/pedicure. At first I thought it was kind of odd, but then I realized they were awesome. An excuse to go out and have a date (we were given several Red Robin cards) was wonderful after a couple weeks. The mani/pedi was a wonderful way to just have some me, relax time, especially since it is something I never do.

  I think the beach house or some other get away would be wonderful also. We took a trip about 6 weeks after and it was so good. You would definitely want to let them choose the timing through. As a group depending on resources you could also include things like a basket with a gas gift card, restaurant where they'll be, bottle of wine (if they drink wine), movies? Just some things that would help make it a restful getaway that they probably wouldn't think of themselves at this point, or wouldn't want to spend money on after all of their hospital and other bills.

  Flowers, but especially after the first couple weeks. They will probably receive tons of flowers in the first week or two. I had several people deliver flowers later on, just to say "we love you", "we know you are still hurting", for his birthday anniversaries, etc. It meant so much to me to have people recognize that I'm still hurting, even months out.

  I've also more recently had a couple people just randomly deliver a dinner with a bottle of wine, loaf of yummy bread, fancy cheese and sausage, strawberries and easy prep salad. It was so easy for them, but really wonderful for us. Ended up being an unexpected special date dinner.

  Just some thoughts!

  <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/lCl5m7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>

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• GymSpaz26 member

  March 2014

  Mealtrain.com is the website people used to organize our meals.

  <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/lCl5m7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>

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• nohalo21 member

  March 2014

  Meals were a huge help. My coworkers dropped off meals from a local place when we came home. The staff contributed money for restaurant giftcards. The last thing I wanted to think about was cooking.

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• dadalou member

  March 2014

  Meals are great. We also were given gift certificates for massages. With all the stress you get really tense. Grief massages should be a thing.

  Abigail Grace 9/7/10

  Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14

  Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  
  

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