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bringing a 2 1/2 yo to a wake

babybrielovebabybrielove member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
I have a wake for my husband's great aunt to attend and my husband is out of the country on business.  My 2 1/2 yo has met her before but only a couple times in her life so she doesn't remember her.  My mom can watch her but I'm thinking of bringing her with me b/c I thought that might lighten the mood and family could see her (we live a few hours away) but my other thought is that just isn't the place for her since I do have babysitting options.  Also it will be an open casket.  Thoughts? What would you do and what have you done in a similar situation?
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Re: bringing a 2 1/2 yo to a wake

  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    Depends on the family, the type of wake, and the kid.  I'd ask ahead of time what the family wants, and then gauge if your kiddo will respect the mood of the place and people.

    If you do take her, be prepared to start answering death questions - including "will you die" and "will I die" and "but I don't want to die" in a few weeks.  We had a friend's dog die recently, and this has started coming up, and that didn't even involve seeing the dead dog.
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  • sugarbear0524sugarbear0524 member
    I wouldn't bring her, especially since you have another option. Or, bring your mom with you and let the family see her before or after. 
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    For a wake I would.  I think it's nice for the family to be able to see her and kids are such a comfort in these times of grief.  I remember playing hide-and-seek with my 3 year old cousin at my Grandmother's wake.  It helps to remind you that life will go on and people can't help but smile when they see young kids.  The nice thing about a wake is that it's informal, so you could go at a good time leave at a good time, step out for a few minutes, not have to worry about LO being too noisy.

    I wouldn't do a funereal though unless there wasn't another option.
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  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    My son was at DHa aunts wake. It was very informal and all the old ladies loved seeing him. The open casket thing might be rough, though. Can you avoid that part with you LO?
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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member

    I have seen tons of kids that age. I brought my then almost  2 year old a few years ago, and she had no clue what was going on.  My 5 year old I wouldn't bring, but 2 1/2 I probably would.

     

    I don't think personally you will get death questions from a 2 1/2 year old- maybe I am wrong but I really don't think they get that concept yet. Maybe at 3 or 3 1/2.

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  • fitmom82fitmom82 member
    My grandma died when DD was 6 months and I brought her to everything, 2 years later when DD was 2 1/2 and I had DC who was 6 months my other grandma died.  I bought DS to the wake but not the funeral.  Bringing a 6 month old is a nice distraction, I can't imagine bringing a 2 year old.  A 2 year old requires discipline, is she being too loud, running around, using too many tissues, ect.  I also think it's really unfair to a child at that age.  It opens them up to too many question and things they're just not ready to handle.  DD knew my grandma so definetly would have been asking about what was going on, but I think at 2 1/2 if I brought her into any wake she would be asking questions. 
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