How to Document

eltar08 · February 2014

I tried searching the boards because I know this has been a topic before, but how do you document? Emails we can print out, but text messages and phone dialogs - not looking to get overly elaborate but want to have them organized.

Thanks!

wirt2cute · February 2014

Hello, I capture text messages by screen shot. You should be able to take a screen shot and it will create a picture of the text, you can then email the picture to yourself. Whatever phone you have you can look up on online how to take a screen shot. iPhones are much easier for the screen shot.

eltar08 · February 2014

Thanks, @Mrswirt2013, I have an iPhone so that should be easy enough!

wirt2cute · February 2014

@eltar08 I totally understand I have to do that with the stuff that H's ex sends him. Good luck....

eltar08 · February 2014

I have been maintaining pretty good records thus far for the particularly colorful interactions but normally I email text messages because they're such long dialogs. Screenshots will likely be choppy but at least they're the actual message.

alb2411 · February 2014

For phone and in person conversations/situations, the first chance we get after the incident, DH and I sit down and write out as many of the details and direct quotes we can remember. We have a gigantic Word document listing things like this in paragraphs in chronological order like this, "Date - Time - Location - Witnesses: Details of situation." Because of our current situation, we do this for even the most mundane & innocent seeming correspondence. It's a lot of work, but we learned within 10 minutes of our first court hearing how beneficial all of this documentation can be when "he said, she said" comes into play. We also use a Publisher calendar to supplement this with shorter notes that are easier to find quickly if needed...but like I said, we are new at this and going a bit overboard due to our personal situation, so it may not be necessary or worth the hassle depending on what your situation is. Obviously we save everything with a paper trail, too. A filing cabinet and organized computer folders can be a blended family's best friend, haha!

eltar08 · February 2014

@alb2411, do you dump everything into one word doc? I print emails and then stick them in reverse chronological order with a post it note summarizing the content and which bucket of "issues" it supports. Not sure if one massive one is easy to filter?

alb2411 · February 2014

Emails, pics and other "paper trail" things are typically saved in their own digital folders & hard copy folders in chronological order based on what they are/pertain to...we haven't quite worked out that science yet. The Word document is entirely separate and simply for our longer descriptions of interactions that don't leave a paper trail, but need to be noted, even if only for memory's sake. A lot of what we record is more for protection from lies and "forgotten" conversations than to ever be used in court, but like I said previously, anything to stand up against "he said, she said" will help you feel more powerful in the long run.

Ilumine · February 2014

One of the best ways to "document" is to send summary emails (not texts if you can help it) to any phone or direct conversations (stay as neutral but firm as possible. You can refute whatever nastiness s/he may have spewed at you, but again do it as calmly as possible. You can deny any request that she wants, but again do it as calmly and politely as possible.

AND you can add a direct quote from the CO when her phone call was about something in direct opposition of the CO.

Ex "BM per our phone conversation on Jan 4, at 3pm, here is a copy of our CO delineated our visitation times. I reiterate that I will be picking Johnny on our court ordered date and time of Jan 4 at 5pm. Please have Johnny ready when I arrive.

(Note if this is the first time she has tried to withhold, you do not threaten the police - but if this is a habit, you can mention it.).

OR

You can also use emails to lay a paper trail when BM is not where you need her to be or doing something that she is supposed to be doing.

Ex "BM, it is 5pm on June 5 and we are at the designated hand off location. You are not here, nor are you answering your phone. Please call me back so I know that there has not been an issue".

"BM, it is now 5:15 on June 5, you have still not answered. Please reply."

"BM, it is now 6:00. We will be calling the local police to do a welfare check because you have not shown up for our hand off or contacted us."

And then you do it.

Ilumine · February 2014

MelRC117 said:

PPs covered your question very well.
I will also throw in I started a calendar last year to document what days we had SS that he was supposed to be at BM's house and any other events that happened. Alb2411 seems to be alot more organized in using a Publisher calendar idea.

Using a calendar is a really really good idea.

YummyChef · March 2014

We have big two inch binders that we put EVERYTHING into. If you use whatsapp you can email yourself the entire conversation instead of going screenshot by screenshot. We photocopy every single expense (because sometimes invoices or vouchers fade) and staple the original to it. We keep the checks that the bank sends back as cashed. We even print out some things from her facebook/instagram that contradict things that she's said in court, like where she was on a certain date or something. We take pictures of SS's bruises and print them out. School letters saying that she's not paying her half. Anything and everything is inserted there in chronological order with yearly tabs. Three hole punched, with hole guards, and sleeve organizers, the 4x6 ones for checks and pictures and the letter sized for documents. I'm very proud of our binder, it saved us from $15,000 of child support that the greedy monster claimed my DH hadn't paid in 7 years.

How to Document

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