Putting baby to bed asleep or semi-asleep

Sakura16 · March 2014

So since LO was born, the longest bout of consecutive sleep we've gotten is 3 hours...and that was a treat! DD was low birth weight and has been gaining ever since, which is great! But it means she still eats nearly every 1-2 hours except if she has a longer nap during the day. She won't take a pacifier and seems to only fall asleep at the boob.

So I'm wondering how many of you wait until deep sleep to put down baby or if you just put them down drowsy. Mine will sleep forever in our arms but only in her crib if she is totally out...and even then it doesn't last long. Looking forward to finding some pointers in case I am doing something wrong...

I'm so sleepy!

bethughknee · March 2014

How many weeks is she? I've found the older DD is, the more okay she's getting about going down drowsy. She had to REALLY be out in the beginning. We are talking sometimes 45 minutes of me walking her around. Now she can go down drowsy most nights as long as we're not in a Wonder Week.

She's a frequent eater during the day but does long stretches at night, usually. (KNOCK ON WOOD!)

Sakura16 · March 2014

Oh sorry,I must have missed that thread. My baby is 9 weeks and colic. Her dr said she is growing really fast in length as well so I keep telling myself they are growth spurts but I know those aren't everlasting...

I swaddle her every night, though with arms out or she spazzes. Sincer her first day in the hospital we've had to swaddle arms out. I'm so jealous of the sttn mommies and 3-4 hour mommies even! That's so great you get long stretches at night!

katags · March 2014

I probably will be the lone response of still putting baby in bed fully asleep. I've tried the drowsy thing so many times. It always ends in me hovering over the crib holding her pacifier in her mouth patting her belly for 30-45 min until she starts crying or poops and I wind up picking her up. Two sucks on the boob and she's out cold.

But she's always slept for long stretches at night. Like 4-5+ hours when only a week or two old. So I think that aspect of it is just luck of the draw, to be honest. I don't think either way is wrong (putting down asleep vs drowsy) it's just what works for you and your baby. There's plenty of time to get into better habits later. IMO.

Sakura16 · March 2014

Thanks for the feedback! I forgot to mention she won't even take a pacifier, which sucks. But mine is the same way unless she's out cold. And with the colic sometimes she gets growly and irritated and acts hungry but won't eat, just fuss. I will keep trying the drowsy method though if it might get her more hours down. I'll try anything at this point!

BrittNR · March 2014

I put my DD down either drowsy or wide awake. Sometimes, I put her in the cosleeper, turn on the ceiling fan, and turn off the lights. She will lay awake watching the fan until she puts herself to sleep. Other times she is drowsy. I hardly ever put her down when she is completely asleep anymore. I have also started putting lavender essential oil on her and swaddling lately (see essential oil thread) and the difference has been night and day.

bethughknee · March 2014

Sakura16 said:

Thanks for the feedback! I forgot to mention she won't even take a pacifier, which sucks. But mine is the same way unless she's out cold. And with the colic sometimes she gets growly and irritated and acts hungry but won't eat, just fuss. I will keep trying the drowsy method though if it might get her more hours down. I'll try anything at this point!

I don't know if you intended that to be a pun but it wasn't lost on me! :P

I think if I had a colicky baby I would prbly just do whatever works but keep trying like once a week to do "put down drowsy." Babies change so much week to week and every week you get closer to the possible magical age when colicky symptoms start to dissipate.

housewifebecomesher · March 2014

DD hated to be swaddled arms in but has gotten better about it, and honestly, I think it is the key to her sleeping well at night. This morning when I went in to check on her she was awake and just hanging out in her swaddle, waiting to be changed and fed. You might try again...DD wakes herself up all the time during the day by moving her arms (I don't swaddle her during the day) but rarely wakes at night now. GL!

Tylynngrace · March 2014

I put DS down drowsy then pat his butt and gradually slow down until I know he's asleep and he usually sleeps really well.

Chelsea33833 · March 2014

I'm having the same battle. My little guy used to be a great sleeper. Now at 9 weeks, he is sleeping with me because it's easier for me to get some sleep and he sleeps 3-4 hours with me. If Iay him down now, it's 20 mins and he's back up. Today he took a two hour nap. I had to keep checking on his breathing because I couldn't believe it!

thelittlepear · March 2014

katags said:

I probably will be the lone response of still putting baby in bed fully asleep. I've tried the drowsy thing so many times. It always ends in me hovering over the crib holding her pacifier in her mouth patting her belly for 30-45 min until she starts crying or poops and I wind up picking her up. Two sucks on the boob and she's out cold. But she's always slept for long stretches at night. Like 4-5+ hours when only a week or two old. So I think that aspect of it is just luck of the draw, to be honest. I don't think either way is wrong (putting down asleep vs drowsy) it's just what works for you and your baby. There's plenty of time to get into better habits later. IMO.

@katags, You are definitely not the only one! If DD isn't out cold when I put her down, it's game over. It's getting slightly better (takes less tries to get her down now), but still not self-soothing!

Nviener28 · March 2014

I am actually following a book called 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks old. And she suggested that the best is to put them to sleep when they are awake and not in sleep mode. This teaches them to self sooth. You also need to put her/him to bed every night at the same time so they get used to sleeping at that hour of the day. But she also says that it doesn't work if your baby isn't eating 24 oz within a 24 hour period and eating every 4 hours. It's very geared towards bottle fed babies, but there is a section in it explaining how to train while Breastfeeding. I highly recommend it! My baby is now sleeping for 10 hours and stays quiet in the crib while not sleeping. Good luck!!

Sakura16 · March 2014

Haha it wasn't meant to be a pun, but I love that it was!

Thank you to everyone for all of your experiences and suggestions. I have looked into the Happiest Baby method and I can't get it to work for her. I get pieces to work sometimes but not as a general rule, unfortunately. It is good to see that some of you have had some success with the down while drowsy method. I'm hoping as she gets older she calms down, but for now I will keep trying my best to get her to sleep on her own as well as sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time...

In the past couple of days she has tried to figure out how to self-soothe by sucking on her hands, but I think it is her new way of telling me she is starving. I don't know how she is with how often she eats, but it could just be she is fussy and just thinks she is hungry because she is used to eating often.

Babies are curious creatures! Hopefully, if we survive this one and have another, she is a piece of cake!

cnctf · March 2014

DD wont nap very long if she isnt sleeping on someone. She's pretty much STTN and we swaddle her. I just went back to work this week so after I feed her in the morning, I swaddle her and she has been sleeping in her RnP for 2-3 hours on her own. I honestly dont know if it has to do with the swaddle, but I plan to try swaddling her during the day and putting her down. Oh, to answer your question, when we do put her down swaddled or not, she is in la-la land!

vterp · March 2014

DD (10 weeks old) won't take a pacifier either. We had a hard time getting her used to the crib, it seemed like as soon as she hit the mattress, she was wide awake again, even if we tried to wait until she was fully asleep. DH had an easier time getting her down than I did, but it was still a challenge every night.

We went out and bought a Tiny Love Soothe and Groove Mobile. It's battery operated and plays music for 40 minutes before automatically shutting off. As soon as we installed that in the crib, it was MUCH easier to put her down. Even if her eyes pop open when we put her down, she'll get enthralled with the mobile and will usually fall asleep on her own. There are still times we have to go back up and maybe give her a topper or start the mobile over again, but it's certainly been a big help for us.

xanadu94 · March 2014

Could it be where she is sleeping? You said she would sleep forever in your arms so maybe she needs that snuggled up feeling still. Have you tried the rock n' play? My LO was very similar in the beginning; she would only sleep in our arms. We took quite a few naps together with her laying on top of my chest in the recliner.

Now that my LO is sleeping in her crib, she can go down drowsy. This works when I lay her down for the night with a clean diaper, jammies, a full belly, and after a really good burp. She is usually quite content to stare at the ceiling (we have a projector) and listen to the white noise until she falls asleep.

peanutmuse · March 2014

I put him to bed either drowsy or fully asleep, depending on the situation. Most of the time it's fully asleep though. He doesn't actually have a very significant drowsy phase. It's usually go-go-go-go-PTFO. But if he wakes up in the MOTN, he'll hit the drowsy phase while nursing and that's the time when it will work for him to fall asleep in that state.

Nviener28 · March 2014

I Agee with the mobile! It does help!

Sakura16 · March 2014

@xanadu94 you know we actually have a RnP, but she only sleeps in there in short bouts and HATES being strapped in anywhere. This week we are planning on moving her from our room in her cradle to her nursery in her crib. Not sure if that will be better or worse, but I guess we shall see! I wish I knew what it was that was waking her up after only and hour or two, because when I put her down and she is totally out, she will sleep for about that long so it's not like she wakes up screaming that she hates lying there. But who knows. She acts like I've starved her all day when she starts waking up even though she eats sooo often!

mommygrams0730 · March 2014

I really don't try to put them down drowsy/awake until around 4-5 months. I guess partly because they seem to still nurse and fall asleep before that age. I also am never in a real hurry to have them fall asleep on their own because the time for rocking to sleep seems to go by so fast. I also feel like when we get to 2 consistent naps and nap times it kind of just is what it is. There are a few times where he will fall asleep in his bouncy seat on his own, but for now most times I nurse him and he falls asleep. It's pretty much the same as what we did with out first 2, and it seems to work for us.

SJSLA · March 2014

DD is almost 8 weeks and I find the most success in putting her down when she's in a deep sleep. She'll fall asleep on the boob and I very carefully lower her into the crib.
I make sure her diaper's changed, she's swaddled for her last feed before bed, and the lights are very dim. So far I've gotten 7 hours!

MarkandAbbi · March 2014

We typically play It by ear. We co-sleep she is in the "snuggle nest" from BRU. She hates being swaddled and is convinced it's the end of her, but she sleeps 7-8 hours swaddled. So I set her blanket up in the nest and she feeds and when she starts dozing I will typically place her and swaddle. If she stays drowsy then great. She's out. If she wakes then she's upset, I pop her back on the boob swaddled and she passes out almost instantly. I leave her there for a few then move her and she's good to go for the night. FWIW she's 10.5 weeks now. Hope you find something that works!

Cormelbaby · March 2014

My LO is 11 weeks and I put him down drowsy or wide awake at night in the crib. He's usually so tired that it's easy for him to go to sleep. We have nice routine for our last feed - feed, change, swaddle and then lights out while I sing to him and rock him. He doesn't STTN, but we get 4-6 hour stretches.

Jen4033 · March 2014

I've always nursed my LOs to fully asleep. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but I am ok with that. DS1 started giving up the nursing at bedtime himself just before turning one, but I still took him in for a quiet story & rocking to sleep. He is now 2 & just goes to bed awake & relaxed just fine & has been for a while now.

DS2 hated the swaddle at first, but then I tried it again after he was a couple weeks old. I also got a white noise machine. That was when the 3 hour stretches started for us. Since then things have slowly progressed to longer & longer stretches. It has been approx 2 weeks now that he has been sleeping at least 6 hour stretches. Last night he slept til I woke him at 5:30am (8.5 hours!). Hoping this is the STTN turning point.

Perhaps try swaddling again? Sometimes what doesn't work at one time, is worth revisiting later & it works! White noise helped us a lot too since LO's room is right by the kitchen. He's a lighter sleeper as it is. Day care is helping on that note. LOL

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