Ending nursing to sleep

LisaLisa1980 · March 2014

DS is 10.5 months and I nurse him to sleep for naps & bedtime. When my husband is home he can usually rock him to sleep but I cannot ( DS won't let me)

I'm fed up with BF & I would like to start weaning soon. How do I get him to sleep w/o the boob?

I've left him to try & self soothe on his own but he just gets himself worked up even more.

baloneydisc · March 2014

We didn't stop nursing to sleep until much later, but it took 3 days or so of me holding/rocking DD while she cried.

LisaLisa1980 · March 2014

elainelbuck said:
We didn't stop nursing to sleep until much later, but it took 3 days or so of me holding/rocking DD while she cried.

How did you hold it together? DS is super strong & flings himself around & screams to new octaves.

Ridgebackmom · March 2014

I'm going through the same thing. Look up sleep associations and sleep training. Elizabeth Pantley is a good no cry advocate.
How well is he eating during the day?
Are you doing bath-boob-book-bed? Try to feed him either right after bath where he's relaxed or even before bath so that you can bath him and dress him then read/or put in crib to sleep.

DH rocks our DS too and I try to tell him to stop. Rocking is just another sleep association. This isn't true for all babies but if you get him used to rocking then that's another issue. There's a mom on here with a blog but I can't think of it now...she had some great advice.

All I can say is that you both need to work on this. Dh should try to get up and pat bum or rub back to get him to go back to sleep if I go he grabs my hand and I feel bad and pick him up to nurse.
I've been told over nad over again that they are not hungry and to NOT feed them but the bf mom inside of me feels like I have to, this is all he knows....:(

Good Luck!

baloneydisc · March 2014

LisaLisa1980 said:

We didn't stop nursing to sleep until much later, but it took 3 days or so of me holding/rocking DD while she cried.
How did you hold it together? DS is super strong & flings himself around & screams to new octaves.

It wasn't easy, DD was almost 2 when we stopped and she would twist and flail and scream. If she got too wiggly I would put her on the floor for a minute or so, she'd eventually stand up and want to be picked up again, then she was mostly just screaming. It was easier than I thought since it only took a couple of days. She cried a bit for about a week, but it wasn't as bad as those first 3 days.

LisaLisa1980 · March 2014

Ridgebackmom said:
I'm going through the same thing. Look up sleep associations and sleep training. Elizabeth Pantley is a good no cry advocate.
How well is he eating during the day?
Are you doing bath-boob-book-bed? Try to feed him either right after bath where he's relaxed or even before bath so that you can bath him and dress him then read/or put in crib to sleep.

DH rocks our DS too and I try to tell him to stop. Rocking is just another sleep association. This isn't true for all babies but if you get him used to rocking then that's another issue. There's a mom on here with a blog but I can't think of it now...she had some great advice.

All I can say is that you both need to work on this. Dh should try to get up and pat bum or rub back to get him to go back to sleep if I go he grabs my hand and I feel bad and pick him up to nurse.
I've been told over nad over again that they are not hungry and to NOT feed them but the bf mom inside of me feels like I have to, this is all he knows....:(

Good Luck!

Ya we did Elizabeth's book too, and the rubbing his back does nothing. Man we're in for it now

Ridgebackmom · March 2014

Just keep at it!! I need to get back on a schedule too. He ate 2x last night maybe even 3x (11/2/5) Yikes!!!

jlpev · March 2014

This is what I've always done with my kids & my mil has no problem putting dd down for bed. I nurse her until she is extremely drowsy. Then I lay her down. Usually within a few minutes she's asleep. Nap is about the same. I never let her do her ugly cry but a soft wimper, whining cry is OK. Its never lasted more than 3-5 Minutes. She's learn to self sooth

Lelo2006 · March 2014

It's just a phase. It will pass.

katecap · March 2014

I used the Sleep Lady. I got her book Good Night Sleep Tight off Amazon and it started working the first night. There is a little crying but you are right there in the room. I was having the same issue that if i would try to leave the room, the baby would cry very hard and get really worked up. I couldn't handle it. When I tried this solution (you basically stay in the room starting next to the crib and gradually getting farther away), he did still cry some, but it was much less frantic and more sort of irritated with me. I also did like someone suggested and tried to mix up the bedtime routine so nursing wasn't the last thing on the list. I would nurse in the room with the night on then, with him still awake, would then turn of the light, sing a song or two then lay him in bed. The first night he fell asleep in about 15 min and only woke up once (he had been getting up 4+ times a night). After 3 nights, he was sleeping through the night. The only disruptions we've had since starting this about 2 months ago was due to travelling and sickness. The book was truely a godsend for me. Best of luck!!

taraleanne · March 2014

Try the nursing till drowsy and putting down slightly awake and then pick up/put down and repeat as necessary and be consistent. Have you read the no-cry sleep solution book?

Good luck! With patience and persistence and consistency you will succeed

LisaLisa1980 · March 2014

taraleanne said:
Try the nursing till drowsy and putting down slightly awake and then pick up/put down and repeat as necessary and be consistent. Have you read the no-cry sleep solution book?

Good luck! With patience and persistence and consistency you will succeed

If I pull the nipple out he screams bloody murder. Yes, I've read the book - didn't work for us. He doesn't need to be nursed to sleep as my H is able to put him down but it's the only way *I* know how especially when I'm on my own during the day.

taraleanne · March 2014

LisaLisa1980 said:

Try the nursing till drowsy and putting down slightly awake and then pick up/put down and repeat as necessary and be consistent. Have you read the no-cry sleep solution book?

Good luck! With patience and persistence and consistency you will succeed
If I pull the nipple out he screams bloody murder. Yes, I've read the book - didn't work for us. He doesn't need to be nursed to sleep as my H is able to put him down but it's the only way *I* know how especially when I'm on my own during the day.

I hear ya, cause I was having (and still am a little bit) getting different responses from our LO based on who tends to him, me or DH. Problem is my DH works shift work so there are some nights AND days that I'm all by myself trying to put LO to bed or to nap. I would actually LOVE it if he would nurse to sleep @ nap time!! That would be much easier than what I was going through before. But we did the pick-up/put down repeat (and it was hellish) for 3-4 days and it really started working. I let him fuss or cry softly for a few minutes too because I soon realized that my presence stimulated him and he doesn't want to be rocked by me OR hubby either. I just can't do CIO. I have a video monitor so I can tell my his body language if he needs me or not. And to be honest, we're still working on it now. I guess what you need to do is pick a method (non-nursing) and just stick it out - be consistent and it should work. It sounds like you might have to literally cut nursing right out of the sleep routine. It's not going to be easy at all, on either of you but if you want to wean him then it has to be done I'm afraid. From my experience, I'd suggest starting bedtime or nap time MUCH earlier (like even a whole hour) before he would normally go down to sleep (so, pre-empt the sleepy cues) because when he's overtired, he's going to fight it even harder cause overtired babies can't settle. After our hellish few days my LO can now go into his crib awake, play for a while and fall asleep independently. Was it worth it, yeah, cause I said, it really sucked but he was completely resisting even being rocked so I didn't know what else to do.

Good luck mama! Know you are not alone and you'll get through this!

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