Tentative hello and introduction :)

ttc23 · March 2014

Hi everyone

We have just experienced our 5th failed IVF (3 fresh and 2 frozen) using our own eggs and sperm. We are still waiting to have our follow up appointment with our doctor but with our last cycle resulting in 26 eggs retrieved, 24 mature, 19 fertilised and every single one arresting on day 3 or 4 I'm starting to think we need to look at other options. The problem is we don't quite know whether its eggs or sperm that are the issue (or both) as there is nothing conclusive. The doctor hinted on the phone that it was probably an egg issue but I've read information about embryos that arrest on day 3 or 4 being related to the sperm DNA. I am scared to go down the donor egg or sperm route in case it is not the issue we select. Donor sperm is fairly easy to access in Australia (where we live) but donor eggs are a different story. I've would most likely have to travel to South Africa or Europe for an affordable egg donation option and it can only be anonymous. I am leaning towards embryo adoption but don't want to eliminate my husbands chance of a biological child....I am also scared of embryo adoption as I'm not sure what type of families will be available. How do I know if we'll "connect" well...

I can't seem to think straight and keep flipping back and forth about the options- not knowing what the right one is.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice please don't hesitate to comment. I hope I have not posted inappropriately and if I have missed any rules or etiquette I apologise. Thanks in advance

lincoln79 · March 2014

Welcome! I am sorry for your struggles. I think it is wise of you to consider a sperm issue. It angers me that many drs. only consider the egg to be problematic.

I don't have any advice (we have different issues and are using a gestational carrier), but there are many great women on the board who will have a ton of experience to offer.

Again, welcome!

liz4paws · March 2014

I am really sorry you've been through so much. I agree, it's frustrating when doctors aren't willing to consider sperm issues and I think it's wise that you continue to investigate that front. I wish you lots of luck!

Twinkie0612 · March 2014

Welcome! I don't have much advice about DS or DEgg since we didn't go that route.

It was pretty obvious that we had an egg quality issue since the majority of our embryos were poor quality and slow growing from the start. It was during one of our second opinion consults that the idea that we also have a slight sperm issue as well was thrown out. We considered donor eggs, but with the possible sperm issue we were afraid of putting all of our resources towards donor eggs and still ending up with poor quality embryos. My DH was very interested in embryo adoption or donor embryos from the start.

As far as feeling connected, I think you just know when you find the donors that were meant for you, or at least we did. DH and I both felt strongly drawn to the same profile, I think we just knew that these were our embryos. I had a few reservations about the donors (particularly our GM's age at the time the embryos were created), but we went with our gut and I have no regrets so far.

Good luck! I hope which every path you choose brings you to your take home baby!

AllieAlba · March 2014

Welcome! I'm sorry you've had such a problematic experience. If I were you, I'd definitely go down the sperm donation route first, purely because it will be easier for you than the donor eggs.

Other than that, I don't have any advice, but I wish you lots of luck!

healz413 · March 2014

Welcome! It sounds like you've been through a lot so far and you still have a lot to consider. One of the things I found most frustrating about infertility were the times when I had several options and no way to know (without deciding to just start trying them) which one (if any) would actually work.

There are a lot of awesome people on this board who have different relationships to TPR. I'm confident that whatever you decide to do, you'll find good support here.

Good luck!

ttc23 · March 2014

Thank you all so much for your welcome and support. I imagine I'll be posting a lot more here in the future so it's great to know there is such a great bunch of people on this forum

STBMrsMiller · March 2014

Welcome and good luck! We have both egg and sperm issues, but could have pursued donor eggs with DH's sperm. I asked several times as we made our decision between donor eggs/his sperm, embryo adoption, domestic adoption, and foreign adoption, and he just didn't even want to put donor eggs with his sperm on the table as an option. I was absolutely willing to do that, but he felt really strongly that he wanted the baby to be biologically both of ours or neither. That, and the fact that it was significantly more expensive, and the fact that his sperm just isn't that great, made it easy for us to rule out. But I agree that choosing between treatment options is one of the most difficult parts of this journey.

sarahjeri · April 2014

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with IVF. Making the decision to move forward without what feels like the correct advice from doctors is really frustrating! I know of a family who used donor embryo because of what sounds like very similar to what you have been through.

Want a personalized experience?

Tentative hello and introduction :)

Re: Tentative hello and introduction :)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards