DH has incriminating photos that are going to get me arrested. He thinks it's funny to take pics of me holding DD and drinking. On a related note, my Nana (now 94) loves her wine. When my sister was like 4, Nana knocked over a glass of wine onto my sister's plate, so she cried, "If only you didn't drink!"
Re: Someone call the cops
You will go to H E double hockey sticks for sure.
You suck.
Love you.
Oooooh, watch out for Good Samaritans and well-meaning civil servants.