Parenting after a Loss

Intro- I've been lurking you!

toomanycats1toomanycats1 member
edited March 2014 in Parenting after a Loss
Hi everyone!  I've been lurking like crazy and think I should just join you.  

About Me:  I am HelloSweetie1 (yes, a Doctor Who reference), previously I was Nyahsbabyblues for those of you that graded a year or so ago.  

DH and I have been together for 14 years, and have an almost 7 year old.  When he turned 5 we decided we definitely wanted a 2nd child.  That pregnancy resulted in a missed m/c discovered at 13weeks (on 12/12/12).  In 2013 I had 2 more losses.  We are lucky enough to be pregnant again,  but DH and I are the only ones that know, and we are walking on eggshells with this one.  We were just about to start fertility treatments at a clinic 8 hrs away, so another m/c means a lot of obstacles/travel I'm not sure we can handle.  (The closest IVF clinic is 10 hrs away!).  

I started lurking here when a lot of my TTCAL buddies started graduating.  Now, I see a lot of TTCALers are posting here more often, and I desperately miss you all! I hope it's ok if I join you?

I know my successful pregnancy happened before my losses, but struggling with recurrent losses/IF and trying to still be a good parent has been unbelievably hard. Whether this pregnancy succeeds or not, I've decided I need to concentrate more on "parenting" in 2014 and less on my losses/struggles.

Not sure of the protocols here, so if theres anything I need to be aware of, please let me know!  

Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
 BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
~Everyone Welcome~

Re: Intro- I've been lurking you!

  • There is a weekly check in for those of us TTC #2 (or #3, etc.) I can't remember who runs it. Just somewhere for us TTCers to hang and chat without inundating TTCAL with pics of babies/tickers, etc.
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    imageView Full Size Imageimageimage
    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • Welcome!  :)  So sorry for your losses ((hugs)). Sticky baby dust your way!
    Started TTC in February 2010
    BFP #1
      3.23.11 :: Natural M/C on 5.21.11 @ 12wk4d
    BFP #2  2.17.12 :: EDD 10.28.12 :: Ava was born 11.2.12

    BFP #3  1.31.14 :: Natural M/C on 3.10.14 @ 9wk2d

    BFP #4  4.29.14 :: Natural M/C on 5.5.14 @ ?

      New Beginnings: Our Journey into Parenthood (Blog)

    imageimage


    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • Welcome to the board. I am so sorry you have had such a hard road and for your losses!.

    Congrats on your new pregnancy and I wish you the best! I hope this is your rainbow!

    I don't think we really have any *rules* here - we just try to fly below the radar and avoid drama :)

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Welcome!  Glad to have you!

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

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    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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  • Hey sweetie!!!  I'm so glad to see that you've been lurking over here.  I miss you!!! 
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • Welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy! 

    We also suffered our loss after a successful pregnancy with DS1.  It took me a couple months to get the courage to intro over here, some days it's still really difficult seeing babies, but really, it is great to be able to chat with other moms who can relate to losing a child.  I also wanted to let you know, we've started a school-aged and pre-school aged check-in, so if you would like to join us, I will be posting it tomorrow.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • Welcome and congrats.  My second loss has been really tough on me, especially with DS at home.  In some ways it was easier, because I had DS to hold.  But it was also more difficult, in that I had to deal with grief and parenting at the same time.  I hope this pregnancy is very boring for you!  Wishing you a H&H 9 months.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • Congrats & Welcome! So sorry for your losses and I hope you have a very H&H pregnancy this time.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • Why hello there stranger!

    Nice to see you here.

    I hear you on finding it hard to parent and process the emotional side of a loss(and subsequent TTCAL). For a while I feel like I lost myself a bit. I was going through the motions, things were getting done, but mentally my mind wasn't there. Having him to hold helped more than I can put into words on the rough days though. I like your idea of focusing on parenting this year, regardless.. though damnitall, she's gonna stick around!

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • Congrats and welcome! I am so sorry for your losses, and wish you a H&H 9 months!
    PAL JULY SIGGY CHALLENGE: CAKE WRECKS
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    You Made me a mommy... 

    Ticker id: ARvP

           imageimageimageimageimage
     Lilypie - (KAFM)

  • Welcome. I'm so sorry for you losses. I hope this is your rainbow baby!
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • Love the new name. :)  Wishing you a H&H 9 months!
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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