STMs: Daycare vs. Nanny?

FutureMrsW9 · March 2014

While I will be returning to work when baby is about 4 months old, we are lucky enough to have free childcare 3 days a week via family members. However, we will need to find care for the remaining 2 days. The days will always be the same, so we don't have to worry about shifting the schedule every week. I do work from home one of those two days, but I actually have to work and not care for baby so we will need to either put baby in daycare or hire a nanny (that just sounds so pretentious! lol).

Have any of your STMs had the same or similar scenario? If so, do you put your child in daycare or did you hire a part-time nanny? I'm starting to lean more toward finding a nanny and just paying him/her hourly, but I also don't want to deprive my child of learning social skills, which is something that I lacked as a little kid and I attribute it to not being around other kids from an early age as my aunt took care of me. It may sound silly to some, but my pre-k teacher told my parents that I was academically ready for kindergarten but socially I was painfully shy, and I think it had a lot to do with not being around other kids from an early age...but I'm not a psychologist, so who knows if that's really why, but that's where the concern comes from with respect to our baby.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? (Just a disclaimer that if we did need care all week we would put baby in full-time daycare - a full-time nanny would be too expensive for us to afford. And we do play to enroll baby in nursery school/pre-k once s/he is old enough even if it's only a couple days a week.)

MollySm · March 2014

I am a nanny, so maybe a little biased :-) I think a nanny can be a great option. Especially if you find someone who can take your child to things like story time at the library, the park, playdates, etc. That way you get the social aspect, but also one on one care at home.

As far as being shy, I was the same when I was little, but had 5 brothers and sisters, so it wasn't from lack of socialization. Some of it is just personality.

dimitjm1 · March 2014

My DH and I both work full time, but thanks to our schedules, only need child care 3 days a week (M-W every week). We chose daycare and have been happy with our choice. I think DS learns a lot at daycare and I agree it has been good for social development as well. One important thing to keep in mind is that many daycares do not allow you to pay for part time care for infants, even if they allow it for older children. DS's old daycare did, but they closed. We love our new daycare, but they will not allow us to pay part time tuition for this new LO until he is 1 year old, even though we pay for part time for my son. Most other daycares in our area have a similar policy. This will more of a financial strain than I was anticipating, which led me to consider a nanny, but we really love our center and the financial strain will be for about 9 months only (I'm planning to return to work when LO is 3 months old), so we decided to stick with daycare. I'm also just more comfortable having my child in a center with oversight, multiple caregivers, etc. I know others who feel differently, but I went to daycare growing up and had a good experience and have had only good experiences with my son in 2 different daycares. The main thing either way is finding someone you trust, but be sure to ask about daycare policies regarding part time care.

robbinrl · March 2014

We are in a similar situation. We need someone to watch DD (and eventually this LO) from 2-6 M-F. I have had the best luck accommodating flexible schedules with in-home care providers. Most typical day cares in my area (ohio) won't take infants part time and we never had luck finding a 'nanny' part-time (tried care.com a couple of times) but other areas of the country may be different.

For in home care providers, you would want to look for someone licensed and/or with references/homes you are comfortable with (in OH they only need to be licensed if they watch over a certain number of kids). I found both of mine by posting on neighborhood message boards, one was our HOA board and the other was a local moms group.

Church daycares also seem to be more flexible, that is where DD is going now after our sitter went on maternity leave.

Good luck!

hollygb22 · March 2014

we went through the daycare/nanny debate once #2 is here. Currently DD #1 is in daycare. The cost of two in daycare would be similiar to having a FT nanny.

We've opted to stick with daycare. It's just been a great postive experience for us. We found a small to midsize center we like. she just does so much there..more than I would probably be able to do with her at home..from fingerpainting, to a sign language teacher every wed, to story time, to interacting with her classmates. This week baby animals were brought to the center, they have eggs that they're waiting for the chicks to hatch and planted their own gardens yesterday. What they're able to do with a bunch of 16-18 month olds on a daily basis amazes me. I also like that we have the director to go to with any concerns (which haven't been many) and the structure of the center.

So, for those reasons and some more..we're going to stick with daycare. I can see many plus sides to a nanny and more one on one care and in our home..but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with someone transporting the kids right away and some other things.

MrsCase1 · March 2014

I work from home for a children's program. Lots of nannies bring their charges to activities for kids to socialize them.

I think a nanny is a much better choice because you will still have your child in close proximity. Also, many nannies help with light chores around the house, which is a lifesaver!

Unknown · March 2014

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Mia081081 · March 2014

We had the same situation - DD only needed care twice a week. We opted for daycare and absolutely loved our decision. She started at daycare when she was 4 months old and is now in preschool. What we loved about it: detailed report at the end of the day, socialized with other kids (by 18 mo she had a BFF there), seemed to learn more quickly when she spent a lot of time there (ie. walking, talking when she was around other, older kids), they were always open so we didn't have to worry about care when someone was sick/on vacation/had a dr appt/etc. This baby will also be going to daycare a couple of days a week starting at about 4 months.

Why we didn't choose a nanny: I also work from home and our home is also small (condo), I don't think I could feel comfortable with someone else watching DD while I was right there. DD would never have let me work if she knew I was home. I think I would be judging every little thing the nanny was doing and how I would do it differently. I do this with my mom, who is AWESOME with DD, so I'm sure I would do it with a nanny. This would drive us both BSC and cause unnecessary stress. Once your baby is older, it's nice to have time to clean up your house when your child is not there, though I guess a nanny might help with cleaning up after them.

wtfisup · March 2014

We'll be in the same boat, likely, only needing care 3 days a week, maybe 2.5. Here, daycares have crazy wait lists and prioritize folks who will commit to full-time. They also tend to be out in the suburbs, and we're in the city. The city ones have 1- and 2-year waits. The university I work at has an AMAZING one. With a huge wait.

We'll likely be using a sitter and dropping the kid off there. I would LOVE to have family around to help out. My mother would be very willing, but we live in another state.

rastrau · March 2014

When I was in college I was a nanny for a mom that worked from home a couple of days a week. Her schedule jived with my class schedule and I was probably paid less than a full-on professional nanny might have been, so I likely saved them money. I took the kids (there were two) to places like the library and for play dates with friends, so there was still socialization.

As PP have mentioned, in-home providers are also a really good option and they're limited in the number of children they have in their home.

Also, If you're in a more populated area, you can look into nanny-share options as well. That's what we intend to do with our LO when he arrives - we'll be sharing the nanny with my personal trainer whose wife is due about 5 weeks ahead of me

Good luck!

mattanda2011 · March 2014

We are in the exact same situation with my DD who is 14 months old. We have family watching her 3 days a week and only needed 2 days a week of care.

First it can be very difficult to find a day care that will accept part time for infants - we had serious trouble. We ended up going with a nanny because we loved that she gets to stay at her own house and she is comfortable there. In addition we made sure to find a nanny that would at least keep up with our daughters laundry and dishes. We were willing to pay a little bit extra for this because with both of us working it seemed worth it to remove a little extra stress.

I love that DD can stay in her crib during the week for naps, she can be asleep when I have to leave for work and I dont have to wake her and make her cranky. The way her schedule is now she is often napping when I get home (I work at a school so I am home by 4 at the latest) so I dont have to interrupt that part of her schedule. And really its only been in the last 4 months or so that our nanny has started to take her to play with other kids (because really I didnt think she needed it before then) and it works out great.

All that being said I am going to start DD at a church mothers day out 3 days a week (9-1) in August when she will be 18 months old. This is really the age I feel more comfortable with her going to do that - and I feel like its most important for her to start having more interaction with other kids. Our Nanny will actually drop her off at the mothers day out some days, but will be keeping our son while I work. If you can swing it, its really the best of both worlds. I would just say have a plan or ideas about how you will socialize you LO, but really I dont think you realy have to worry about it until closer to 1 year old.

FutureMrsW9 · March 2014

I tried searching the in-home option in my area but nothing came up. Is there a keyword or different name to search with?

RaeJ004 · March 2014

For the first year I would do a nanny, after that I would do a daycare. DD was watched by family members until she was 10 months old. At that point things changed and we put her in daycare. She became a totally different kid. She really thrived in an environment with other kids around. However, each kid (and each family) is different. What works for my DD might not work for you. I would just be open to both options and be aware that you may have to change things up eventually.

tbmadeamistake · March 2014

We went straight to daycare, and it's been fabulous. I'll be staying home now that Charlie is joining us, because both nannies and daycare are two expensive in this area when you've got two kids. I love daycare because they have backup if a teacher gets sick, they rarely close for bad weather, and C gets used to seeing and dealing with different people (both teachers and other children). It's been great for us. I think if I had a nanny, I would definitely want him/her taking the kids, from a young age, to story times and play dates.

chloephoebecali · March 2014

Nanny now and daycare later?

bigdreams24 · March 2014

We do daycare 3-days a week and have since DD was 6 months old. Now that she is a toddler she learns so much from the other kids and is forming great friendships. In my mind there are a few pros and cons to each option.

Nanny:
Pros:
Child is in own home
Can go on more "field trips"
Child probably gets sick less
Forms a close bond with Nanny
Cons:
Risk having to stay home from work if nanny is sick
No one to relieve her if she gets tired during day
Child doesn't get as much social interaction with other kids

Childcare
Pros:
Social interaction with kids of same age and development
Structured activities, Tons of playground play at ours
Multiple care providers with scheduled breaks so workers dont get worn out
Cons:
Kids get sick more often initially
Can be pricey with 2 kids

I cant imagine doing anything else because we love our daycare! Happily our tuition will go down for our older daughter because she will enter the 2-year old program right with second DD comes.

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STMs: Daycare vs. Nanny?

Re: STMs: Daycare vs. Nanny?

Married DH 7/30/11

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