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June 2013 Moms
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Well, I figured she would forget.

nikel13nikel13 member
in June 2013 Moms
My MIL can be self-centered.  Let's just start there.  Well, today is H and my anniversary.  We've been married 3 years.  I work with MIL and wanted to see if she would even acknowledge it.  I know, a little passive aggressive, but H is her oldest and the only child married currently as my BIL and SIL are getting a divorce or already divorced (huge lack of communication in this family).  MIL didn't say anything.  My parents, brother, and SIL-to-be (my side) all said happy anniversary and my grandparents sent a card.

I know this is whiny, but I would like MIL to acknowledge me sometimes when it does not directly benefit her (long history of that).  She has everyone convinced that she likes me so much, but I think it is all an act when you can't remember an anniversary.  I probably need to stop being surprised.  She almost missed the wedding because she couldn't leave her house in time.  Vent over. 
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Re: Well, I figured she would forget.

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  • PinkPuffyHeart2PinkPuffyHeart2 member
    WasNotWas said:

    I don't mean to diminish your feelings, but I don't really hold people to remember our anniversary outside of us. I barely remember birthdays, though

    +1

    But I'm sorry she makes you feel crappy. :(

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  • nikel13nikel13 member
    @WasNotWas It doesn't hurt my feelings.  It's more like a long list of things that she doesn't acknowledge.  It's like the fact that she only wants my daughter around when it makes her look good, or she only calls or texts H when she wants something from him (this includes on birthdays).  I'm just tired of being the one to try and make things work to have an actual caring family close.
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  • Cricket81Cricket81 member
    I think different families treat anniversaries differently. My ILs are all about their anni and expect the whole family to e available if they want to do something. Last year, at 8.5 months pregnant, I was required to go on a weekend trip with the whole fam that included a ton of walking. Ugh.
    My family is the type where it's really just about the couple and nothing is expected of anyone else. When DH and I were first dating, my now mil sent my parents an anni card and they were so confused.
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  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @nike13‌ I get that and it sucks. My ILs come into town without telling us and then complain they don't see the boys...umm let us know you are here
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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    And plus, selfish people be selfish, yo
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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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  • MufflerloveMufflerlove member
    If it was your birthday she should remember but I'm not sure people can be expected to remember anniversaries. My MIL gets pissed if we don't acknowledge her anniversary but really anniversaries are about couples. At the same time I find it hard to believe anyone would forget the day their kids got married.

    It sucks that she doesn't acknowledge you. Try not to let it get to you. Maybe she's just jealous of you. I know my MIL hates the fact I "stole"
    her son.
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  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @Mufflerlove‌ it's funny you say that, my MIL wore black to my wedding because it was "sort of like a death"
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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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  • ColieAnn31ColieAnn31 member
    WasNotWas said:

    @Mufflerlove‌ it's funny you say that, my MIL wore black to my wedding because it was "sort of like a death"

    She said that??? @-)
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  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @ColieAnn31 said:

    WasNotWas said:

    @Mufflerlove‌ it's funny you say that, my MIL wore black to my wedding because it was "sort of like a death"

    She said that??? @-)
    YEP! Under her breath, but I heard it
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                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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  • MufflerloveMufflerlove member
    @WasNotWas said:

    @Mufflerlove‌ it's funny you say that, my MIL wore black to my wedding because it was "sort of like a death"

    Haha that's hilarious. Getting upset about those sorts of things isn't even worth the effort sometimes.
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  • ColieAnn31ColieAnn31 member
    WasNotWas said:

    @ColieAnn31 said:

    WasNotWas said:

    @Mufflerlove‌ it's funny you say that, my MIL wore black to my wedding because it was "sort of like a death"

    She said that??? @-)
    YEP! Under her breath, but I heard it
    Wtf...that's terrible!
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  • nikel13nikel13 member
    edited March 2014
    Better yet, she called H and asked him to play video games with her and asked about the plans for BIL's baseball game tomorrow.

    MIL didn't wear black or anything, but was late for our wedding and had the ring bearer with her.
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  • megaroo64megaroo64 member
    Personally, I don't expect my MIL (or anyone else) to remember our anniversary... but mostly because I don't want to have to remember theirs!!  I can barely keep birthdays straight!  But, OP, it sounds like there is a laundry list of issues and this is the icing on the cake.  I get that.  Sucks that she can't be less self-centered. 
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    Bennett Andrew- 6/4/13      Nora Elizabeth - 10/3/14
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