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How do you guys handle "nightmares?"

ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
in Parenting
DS1 is almost 4 and he seems to go through spurts of several days in a row where he claims to have nightmares.  I say "claims" because I'm never really sure that's what's going on.  He wakes up and calls for one of us but isn't upset or crying.  He wants someone to come sit with him and THEN he says he's "scared."  I think most of the time he happened to wake up and then just wants us in there.  I'm talking at 2 in the morning when the baby was already up at 1 and 4 or sumshit.  DH always goes in the first time and sits with him but then we end up frustrated because he could keep it going for hours and we're torn between tough love (i.e. we've tried to sooth you for a half hour, nut up and go back to sleep lol) and feeling badly if he's genuinely upset.  WDPD?
Formerly known as elmoali :)

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Re: How do you guys handle "nightmares?"

  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    @mrsbutt if that's all it took we'd be golden lol  This is literally him staying awake while DH sits by his bed and no matter how long he stays, DS freaks when he tries to leave.  Or, he'll be calm just until DH's ass hits our bed and then he calls out again.  Rinse and repeat forever.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • BeebopandBuddyBeebopandBuddy member

    We haven't dealt with them personally, but when I worked with kids and parents who dealt with it, I would advise them to speak in low soothing tones to calm the kid down at first. 

    Once the kid is calm, encourage them to lay back down and try to go back to sleep. Don't talk anymore.  Rub their back or hand, sit there with them, but don't engage with them anymore.  If they try to get back up or talk, just SShhh them and lay them back down.  Once they realize that it's boring and it isn't going to be a fun interactive time, they should go back to sleep.

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    @beebopandbuddy see that's the thing - that's exactly what happens.  There is no playing or talking.  We (usually DH) go in and have him climb back in bed and we sit with him but the minute we leave, he springs awake.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • BeebopandBuddyBeebopandBuddy member
    Can you try a reward for staying in bed quietly all night?  Maybe a reward in the morning, or a sticker on a chart for each day then a reward/activity when he earns 5 stickers in a week or something like that?
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    Hyup.  He gets a donut hole in the morning, not for not waking up but for going back to sleep peacefully and without a fight.  He loves those donuts but in the MOTN he doesn't give a rat's ass.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • BeebopandBuddyBeebopandBuddy member

    Maybe a book about how kids deal with nightmares so he can start to soothe himself...

    https://www.lilsugar.com/Books-About-Nightmares-Kids-21768399

    I'm thinking...I'm thinking...

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  • randomsalpalrandomsalpal member
    So sorry you are going through this. We dealt with this for a short period of time with our last DC. It always helped to sit with him and usually he went back to sleep in 10 minutes or so. Wish I had some advice. Hopefully, this is just a temporary phase. Hope things get better soon.
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