Overly Physical Children

jls5121 · March 2014

Hi moms!

I have a question for all your parents of children in daycare. My daughter currently attends a home daycare with about four or five other kids, two of which belong to the woman who runs the daycare. The little boy is three years old and is BEST FRIENDS with my daughter. They do everything together. But lately, when I go to pick her up, he seems WAY too excited and is hitting her (not hard) with toys, pushing her down, trying to make her sit down, etc - just very physical, and since my daughter is so small (she's 2.5 but in the tenth percentile for her age), she can't really defend herself appropriately without hitting him back, which I'd like to avoid. His mom disciplines him for this behavior, but usually with just "We don't hit, we hug" or "That was NOT nice. Apologize to her right now!" The past three weeks, she's had a different minor injury each week - a bruise on her cheek, a scrape on her nose, a scratch on her forehead. And when i ask her about it, she usually says "I FALLED DOWNNN" which, after some research, ends up translating to "[insert name of little boy] pushed me!"

I know that kids take a lot of hits in childhood, and I'm not against having her around kids that are likely to shove or grab things away from her because that's life, but when it's every single time I see this kid, it makes me worry about what's happening when I'm not there - clearly not enough to seriously injure her, but I want her to be able to defend herself and make it clear to him that he is NOT to hit or push her anymore. Has anyone else had this experience? What did you do? Sorry for the LONG post. Any helpful advice appreciated!

ASmallWonder · March 2014

Well, you're right - kids get physical. It seems the woman is handling it appropriately unless you want him put in timeout. Could you talk to her about how she handles both kids when they become too excited and physical? By grouping them together and addressing it as a two person issue, she'll feel less like you're blaming her kid. I'd teach your daughter than anytime someone does something to her she needs to say stop and if it doesn't stop, she needs to tell a teacher/adult/whoever.

BeebopandBuddy · March 2014

You can't control the other kid, or his mother, so I would focus on giving your child the skills to communicate, as best you can, when it happens. Teaching her to say "no thank you", "hands down please" or "I don't like that" might be helpful. Also teach her that if she thinks her friend is playing too rough, she can say "I don't want to play" and go find something else to do. Using words to communicate is really the best way to "defend herself" anyway. GL!

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