WTF Wednesday

typeset · March 2014

WTF, March? Way to fail at spring.

WTF, aftercare teachers? The bar for three-year-old social skills is low, but I'm not bullshitting you that the kid needs additional support in this area.

WTF, MIL? Don't send me articles about curing my child.

WTF, pregnancy? How are you flying by this quickly?

spinsoffresonance · March 2014

WTF FIL, you're staying at our house, I try to go to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet and the floor is covered in pee. Are you 4 years old that you can't a) pee IN the toilet, and, b) clean up after yourself?

firebelle26 · March 2014

WTF self? Get a nightlight for the bedroom so you don't walk into the wall at 5 AM again.

WTF "HR Dept."? I don't know where your snotty attitude comes from, I'm just trying to get the facts straight since you give me different answers for the same questions every time. I just know you will be calling me asking for more shit while I'm out on leave. You're not even in HR, you're the damn Controller. Get your shit straight work, and hire an actual HR Rep.

ETA: too early for this shenanigans.

meli1025 · March 2014

WTF DH? We have the same exact cold. Stop acting like you feel so much worse than me. Try having this cold while creating human life. Let's change out of the cranky pants OK?

WTF weather? Let's get with the program. It's Spring, start acting like it.

awc1986 · March 2014

WTF braxton hicks?! At least wait until I can get home from work before ruining my comfort.

motoLyn · March 2014

WTF tag team of BH and RLP, I feel like I need a walker when I'm up and about.

WTF Baby Coconut, why do you insist on taking up residence on the right side of my uterus only to try and use my ribs as a kicking off point.

awc1986 · March 2014

motoLyn said:
WTF tag team of BH and RLP, I feel like I need a walker when I'm up and about.

WTF Baby Coconut, why do you insist on taking up residence on the right side of my uterus only to try and use my ribs as a kicking off point.

This sounds like my life

SMM1986 · March 2014

I'm in the WTF Spring group!
WTF Spring, I was almost late for work because even though there was no snow on the ground, my car had a frozen layer on and I couldn't reach the scraper in the back of the car.

chillypenguin · March 2014

WTF self? I know you are exhausted and in pain, but you might be induced in just over FIVE weeks and pretty much nothing is ready. Time to kick it into fast mode.

WTF DD? I love you more than anything, but I would really appreciate you sleeping through the night since its been weeks and this mama is tired..

hatrats · March 2014

WTF assholes downstairs? It's literally over 80 degrees in my office in the afternoons and you keep calling the facilities people to have the heat turned on? It *cannot* be that cold down there you selfish pricks.

Magheeta · March 2014

WTF sea bands? Why are you on my wrists? Oh right, b/c WTF morning sickness is paying a visit.

WTF fear? Why are you just now coming around and making me second-guess my ability to care for my child? Why couldn't I have been scared in the beginning??

Bootsie327 · March 2014

WTF, client? You want your training materials delivered and final billed by Monday, but you are giving me tons of changes 2 days late? I can't. So ready to be done with work!

WTF, weather? How about no, with the cold/wind/snow.

MamaCheez · March 2014

WTF big ol' belly, how am i supposed to drive with you rubbing up against the wheel. I wont be able to reach the peddles if i scoot back anymore.

WTF boobs, why so saggy still? you make me sad.

WTF boss, why are you limping if you have a head cold? Drama much?

83edwards · March 2014

ashtog said:

WTF 9 yr old son??? Why have you decided to start fighting with me about every little tiny thing lately?

WTF BH? Why are you triggered by walking, sitting, stress, a 5 min car ride..

WTF spring?? snow still on the ground? here I thought maybe we would have one baby born in a warmer season, but so far it's not looking like it's turning around anytime soon...

@ashtog My 9 year old argues with me on everything also! I think it is the age. That means it has to pass, right?

Roufi · March 2014

WTF FIL?! Just because you're staying in our home doesn't mean that your horribly trained, hyperactive, barking Jack Russel gets to pee on everything! Buy a proper crate that is big enough for him and actually closes because walking through dried pee first thing in the morning to find chewed up garbage makes me want you out (as if wanting privacy with a baby coming in 5 weeks isn't enough!)

Actually, WTF everything

SurprisePartySue · March 2014

WTF DH - (he's a personal trainer and we own our own gym) Your clients have been planning this surprise baby shower for you for two months now. I knew something would come up where you wouldn't be at the gym, so I have to tell you that you have a surprise at 1 in order for you to be there!! Why can't you just have a normal routine!

RachelCA29 · March 2014

WTF Cat - I understand you want to go outside, and are just as upset about the cold weather as I am, but stop having hissy fits at 4 in the morning and knocking everything on my bathroom counter onto the floor or in the toilet. When I pee in the middle of the night and forget to close the door, it's not an invitation for you to trash the bathroom in frustration.

yvanehtnioj · March 2014

WTF, blood glucose? I'm not even supposed to have full blown 'beetus, yet your post meal numbers are ridiculously high sometimes, even when I ate my special little portion-controlled, high protein lunch. Sorry I had the gall to want my allowed and recommended serving of milk & fruit.

firebelle26 · March 2014

mary97 said:

firebelle26 said:

WTF "HR Dept."? I don't know where your snotty attitude comes from, I'm just trying to get the facts straight since you give me different answers for the same questions every time. I just know you will be calling me asking for more shit while I'm out on leave. You're not even in HR, you're the damn Controller. Get your shit straight work, and hire an actual HR Rep.

Let me guess, no maternity leave policy in writing at your company either? Try to get their responses in writing so if any issues come up while on leave you can have a record on what you have been told.

The only thing they have in writing in the handbook is that you can take 6 weeks of unpaid FMLA, and 6 weeks partial pay of STD. It's other questions that she never emails back on and just calls me. When I ask her to send her responses back via email, I get a different answer. So shady.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

WTF teeth. Why are you causing so much pain for DS?? Just pop through already!!

WTF dog? Why did you have to bark at 5:30 in the morning at absolutely nothing??

WTF DS? You slept like crap last night. Why did you not even take a normal nap? Momma needed that nap!!

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

And another. WTF DS? You're not quite 15 months yet. Why are you eating completely out of house and home? So far lunch has been a whole banana, goldfish, an entire pb&j (think 2 slices of Italian bread with pb on both pieces and jelly) and we're about to start on a yogurt cup. If that doesn't do it then I have no clue how I am going to feed you through the teen years!!

theoryofwhat · March 2014

WTF never-ending cold?!
You've stuck around for over a week now, can you just go eff off now?

WTF dog?! Learn this potty training shit. ....please?

sheriot · March 2014

WTF contractions? The fFn came back negative, so you can go ahead and cool it.

WTF pregnant brain? This many mistakes at work in just one day is unacceptable.

WTF H? I'd like to have some sex so let's pretend I'm not a baby beluga for the next few weeks.

Jennyinheaven · March 2014

Wtf blood pressure, why are you always high at my prenatal s and perfectly normal when I go to my non stress tests. Wtf self , why do you want pizza every single day

awc1986 · March 2014

WTF ticker?! 39 days?! When the hell did that happen?!?!?

eghulse · March 2014

Wtf DS. I get that you're sick right now, but I promise that sleep will help. You crying about every stupid thing because you're exhausted isn't helping anyone feel ok right now.

ns1 · March 2014

Wtf people? When did I become a spectacle? I'm not the only one who's done this have-a-baby thing. Stop staring at the belly or at least say something about it to make your staring a little less awkward.

sisterjanet · March 2014

WTF work bathroom? Why does a room with no stall dividers and only one toilet have two sinks, soap things, and paper towel dispensers, AND, what the hell is the chair in there for?

undercoverst · March 2014

sheriot said:
WTF contractions? The fFn came back negative, so you can go ahead and cool it.

WTF pregnant brain? This many mistakes at work in just one day is unacceptable.

WTF H? I'd like to have some sex so let's pretend I'm not a baby beluga for the next few weeks.

Haha! I love the baby beluga comment! I really want sex too but it's so damn awkward to do it!

wtf LO my ribs are not your play ground and my cervix is not a trampoline. Are you sure you don't want to flip?

keeumm · March 2014

@sheriot - I can't hear "baby beluga" without thinking of Full House.

WTF stubborn people? If I give you a suggestion for how something could be done in an easier way, why won't you take it? Doing the one extra step that I suggest would save you a ton of stress and also an annoying email to everyone.

Soupy84 · March 2014

WTF self - cant you read a damn recipe and do simple math? Started nesting and I think I just ruined a quadrupled spaghetti sauce recipe that was going to go in the freezer for post-baby meals. Now I am sure its going down the sink if I cant save it.

WTF DH - stop adjusting the temperature in the house. Its March and the house doesnt need to be heated like its the dead of winter anymore.

delatl · March 2014

WTF coworker who got poop all over the toilet and didn't clean it up this morning?

WTF sore and aching back, why are you killing me today?

And to be unoriginal but very honest...WTF Spring? Where the hell are you?

Tnpeach · March 2014

Wtf school! Just come and evaluate me, and put me out of my misery!

Wtf snow! 'Nuff said.

Wtf DD! I love you so much, but you don't have to plaster yourself as close as you can!

RachelCA29 · March 2014

WTF Baby Hiccups - I adore feeling you move around in there baby (so reassuring and hilarious), but hiccups twice a day? Kind of starting to worry me with that ...

JoelleOK · March 2014

WTF vagina - I finally get some but I don't get the O?

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