Vent - getting tired of people's opinion about my sons penis

beachcomberbride · March 2014

I just wanted to vent real quick - we decided to not circumcise, which is a decision that a lot more parents are making nowadays. This is NOT a circumcision debate, I really don't think that one is better than there other - my older two sons are circumcised, this one is not. Just a personal decision between my husband and I for our own personal reasons.

I really didn't think it was all that controversial, but every single person that we talk to asks the question "are you circumcising" and then when we say no, they proceed to get snarky and tell us why our sons penis will be disgusting, get made fun of, women won't like it, he'll get nasty diseases, and we are making the wrong decision. I find it in very poor taste to comment on what someone else is doing with their sons penis, and I find it especially offensive to act like my sons genitalia are disgusting because we are leaving it how God made it. Just this morning, one of my MIL's friends wrinkled up her face and looked like she was going to vomit when we said we weren't, and she said some very rude things that made my husband very unhappy all day. Anyway, I just wanted to vent about that.

Again, NOT looking to start a circumcision debate!!!

saisongbird · March 2014

Honestly? I would just say thanks for your curiosity, but it's really a private matter for my son. They can infer what they like, but at that point the conversation is closed.

pepperedmoth · March 2014

Tell them that you spoke to a specialist and she said that those concerns are full of BS. ;-) Seriously, this is my field and we are not circumcising either. His penis will not be disgusting and full of disease. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at their practically medieval ignorance. 8-|

They need to STFU and mind their own business because they have no fucking clue what they're talking about.

theluckiest9 · March 2014

If someone asks you should answer with a question - "are you/is your H circumcised??" That'll shut them up. A person's genitalia is no one's business but their own.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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rockopera · March 2014

TallAsh said:
I would ask, "Ew, why do you care so much about my son's wiener?"

(Proper medical terminology in honor of you @pepperedmoth‌)

Love this!

I would stop answering the question. Ask "why do you ask?" and put it on them. And the tell them it's a personal decision that you aren't sharing. Don't feel obligated to answer to random people, like your MILs friend. That's crazy to me that people think they deserve that information.

clo1982 · March 2014

Definitely wrinkle your nose right back and ask why in the world they want to know about your son's penis!? (In a shocked tone). Give a slow head shake just so they feel extra uncomfortable.

Privates are private and no one has a right to ask or comment.

SomersIsles · March 2014

I agree with @rockopera‌! When you think about it, why do they even ask?? It's such a personal question! I love the idea of putting it back on them. Points out how rude it is to ask.

huskymomma94 · March 2014

I can't believe people are asking. Other than one or two close girlfriends, no one has asked if we circ'd our boys (we didn't). I would just say that its private and you don't feel comfortable discussing your son's penis with anyone!

bingbongsmama · March 2014

It's kind of weird that people would even ask about something so personal that doesn't concern them

sebullows · March 2014

DH's grandfathers girlfriend asked DH this while I was nursing in the nursery. I wish I had been out there.

SurpriseAt39 · March 2014

The only person who asked me was the paediatrician in the hospital.

It's no ones business what his penis looks like except for (currently) people changing his diaper , and his doctor, and (eventually) anyone he decides to have a sexual relationship with.
It should be of no concern to the neighbour, a coworker, MIL's friend, anyone at church, etc.

If anyone asks me (and no one has...) I'd pretty much say what I just typed.

VineyardMel · March 2014

I can't believe people are asking you this! My BFF asked--right before changing his diaper--and that's it.

jennybean80 · March 2014

Just inquire if they are waxed or pierced (which ever you think will embarrass them more). When they look shocked just say 'well his genitals are private too'.

Christal161 · March 2014

No I hate this too! My mother keeps asking me why I didn't do it and I just brush it off. It's not very common in Asia to circumcise your boys (that's what SO told me) and it was really up to SO to decide so we didn't. Never heard anything from the nurses about it either.

hemeyer31 · March 2014

I have never ever thought to ask someone a question like that about their baby. I think that is so tacky, no ones damned business. Just because he's a baby doesn't mean the world is entitled to know his business. You wouldn't asked a mom if her 15 year old is circumcised- why would you ask about her baby?!? Same with being pregnant, just because I'm pregnant doesn't give you the right to pry into my personal matters and ask me shit about my cervix. People can be so stupid... Ugg.. Now I'm ready to fight. Lol

KariB509 · March 2014

People are assholes.

SmittyPants · March 2014

WOW what a bunch of jerks. I like what everyone else says and agree the question should be turned on them. We didn't circ either and the only person to ask if I did was a close friend (who turned out to be grossly misinformed about how to care for an uncirced penis) and even then I just said "no" and shut the convo down after a minute.

bingbongsmama · March 2014

ShellsBells1980 said:
What you do with your sons penis or ANY other part of his body is entirely your choice. As for anyone saying women will find it disgusting, well that's just pure bullshit!! Everyone is different, it would be one sad and boring world if we all had the same opinions. And to be fair, i'm a firm believer that in reality, it's not even your choice to make, it's a decision your son can make for himself when he's old enough, so leaving it as it is, is best. Unless there's a medical reason for it, let him chose his own path in life, including what he does with his penis, just tell closed minded people where to shove their unwanted opinions

This sounds a lot like you stating your opinion and maybe debating. We can all agree its an inappropriate question, but you just had to get your anti-circ agenda out there while you could.

saisongbird · March 2014

bingbongsmama said:

What you do with your sons penis or ANY other part of his body is entirely your choice. As for anyone saying women will find it disgusting, well that's just pure bullshit!! Everyone is different, it would be one sad and boring world if we all had the same opinions. And to be fair, i'm a firm believer that in reality, it's not even your choice to make, it's a decision your son can make for himself when he's old enough, so leaving it as it is, is best. Unless there's a medical reason for it, let him chose his own path in life, including what he does with his penis, just tell closed minded people where to shove their unwanted opinions
This sounds a lot like you stating your opinion and maybe debating. We can all agree its an inappropriate question, but you just had to get your anti-circ agenda out there while you could.

Seriously? There's no need to start a fight here. Some of us who responded are pro-circ, some are not. Calm down.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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HobokensFury · March 2014

I must say as the mother of a little boy I'm shocked how many people have asked about his penis. Everyone from my grandma to my mother's friends at work have asked. I didn't think it was anyone's business.

kimberpoo · March 2014

wow, I can't believe anyone asked you that! I totally agree with PP's...don't give an answer, just make them uncomfortable. We are going to circ, I didn't care either way but DH thought it would be the better choice just because most of the guys in our area are (Indiana suburbs near Chicago) and he didn't want our kid to feel self conscious when he played sports / gym class / whatever. If more people in our area weren't, maybe we wouldn't. but it's still not anyone's business but yours! I can't believe the questions some of you girls get asked by the most random people...and then their rude responses to your honest answers take the cake. hope you don't run into that again!

beachcomberbride · March 2014

Thanks for your input! I will take all of your advice and start turning it around on them. My poor DH is getting the brunt of it, his mom spent an hour on the phone with him yesterday telling him what a bad decision it was, he finally got fed up and told her that it is his child, and he will do with his child's penis what he chooses. She's upset now, and said "she will never say another thing about how we raise our child", in a very over the top dramatic fashion. LOL

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