Parenting after a Loss

WWPALD? (re: transition to toddler bed)

OK so, normally DS would be staying in his crib for a long time, because he hasn't climbed out of it yet and he likes it there and mommy doesn't like change.  ;)  However, we are going to use his crib for DD and upgrade DS to a toddler bed, which I think he will do fine with, because he's on a cot in daycare already so I figure he's halfway there.  Well he has been super sick for the past week (today is his first day of daycare all week) and sleeping horribly.  He's mostly better now but he is still waking up fussing/crying in the middle of the night, which I'm pretty sure is just residual from horrible sick sleep for a week (e.g. he's not waking up coughing or waking up with a fever or waking up with a runny nose; he's just waking up and wanting us to hold him).  My plan had been to transition him to a toddler bed in a couple of weeks so he could be in there before DD arrives and not associate her arrival with getting kicked out of the crib.  Now I am wondering, are we just going to get him on a good sleep schedule (HOPEFULLY!) by that point, only to make it all wonky by introducing the toddler bed?  Should we introduce the toddler bed now while he's sleeping really badly anyway?  I feel like both options are crappy.

On the one hand, I feel like we will get him back on a normal sleep schedule (he has STTN since he was 5 months old basically, even when teething, sick, whatever -- I know, feel free to hate me outwardly now!) within a week or two and then we'll be like OK, good job, now learn to sleep in this new bed!  On the other hand, he's already all wonky and out of sorts with sleeping and then we're like, oh you think this sucks, well here's a new bed too!  I'm wondering which is the lesser of the two evils.  Thoughts?

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Re: WWPALD? (re: transition to toddler bed)

  • No clue but curious what advice you'll get.  DS is still in his crib and like you mentioned, he does not crawl out and he loves his bed...so we have been loathe to rock the boat. 

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  • My plan was that if DS started climbing out of the crib then we will switch to toddler bed.  Doesn't look like it is going to happen before DD arrives, so a two crib household we will be.

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  • Can you spend a few days building some excitement about the 'big boy bed' so he sees it as something fun/exciting?
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  • We probably could build the excitement but I'm not sure that he will get it without seeing it, and we are waiting to put it together because we have no place to put it until we get the crib out of there.  So I think if he saw it he would be super excited, but I don't know that he would get it if we were just talking about it.  I think either way he will be OK being in the bed, it's just a matter of I don't think he will sleep well at first, presumably because he is going to relish his freedom and want to get the F out of dodge.  LOL

     

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  • I would just do it while his sleep is wonky.  

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  • Up until 2 months ago we were a 2 crib household. We just converted DS1s bed to a toddler bed since he could climb out. It's been hell ever since. I get another bed buddy every morning around 3. My advice keep the crib as long as possible...once they can get out of their crib your control is gone. I couldn't imagine that with a newborn.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • Haha @FmrAFBrat, that would scare the crap out of me! We are going to put a baby gate outside his door for this very reason. Honestly I am too cheap to buy a second crib when I know maybe we will get another 6 months out of it. I don't see him getting to age 3 and still being in there. And then I gotta get him a bed anyway. Cost cutting at its finest!
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  • He Lady! Is it not a convertible crib? The only 2 kids I know personally well enough to have heard about (sister's and BFF's) were able to keep them in a crib until 3. I would be hesitant to move him, especially with an infant in the house. If it isn't a convertible, can you get a new convertible crib and just have that one ready for when he needs it for a you bed? Giving a 2 year old the freedom to get out bed, baby gate or not, I think is going to cause a lot of getting up at first, for you and possibly baby if he is yelling for you. H will be in a crib until he is 30 :)

    But I know your DS can be much more laid back than my hell - raiser so he may do well. It will be an adjustment, but can't last forever!
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  • Oh, and with your statement about DS sleeping through the night, since 5 months you have now guaranteed that this one will never sleep ;) Bawhahahahaha!! Let me know when you get to your breaking point.
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • MickeyM04 said:

    Haha @FmrAFBrat, that would scare the crap out of me! We are going to put a baby gate outside his door for this very reason. Honestly I am too cheap to buy a second crib when I know maybe we will get another 6 months out of it. I don't see him getting to age 3 and still being in there. And then I gotta get him a bed anyway. Cost cutting at its finest!

    We got DS2s bed at Walmart...the one with the free mattress. It also came with free rails to turn into a toddler bed. I think it was $200 and made by Million Dollar Baby (Baby Mod). I think the Gracos start at $130 on there with free mattress. What's sad is I like the free mattress better than the one I spent $150 for DS1. They deliver it to your door for $9.95. Really worth it.

    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • They were sold out of the Graco Freeport which was the cheap one but here:

    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Graco-Lauren-4-in-1-Crib-Sweet-Dreams-Toddler-Baby-Mattress-Bundle-Your-Choice-of-Finish/14245026

    Just an FYI my toddler can topple the baby gate & has just figured out a way to disable it without making noise. Sneaky little dude. He also started STTN at 6 weeks and was always a good sleeper so this royally sucks. I couldn't imagine it with a newborn. The second crib was worth it...even just for 8ish month.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • Thanks ladies for all the advice and tips.  I think we will try the toddler bed, definitely before the baby gets here so we can have an idea of how it is going to go.  Worst case scenario, it goes horribly, we can put the crib back in DS's room, order a second crib for DD and in the meantime just stick her in the pack n play or rock n play in our bedroom for awhile, since she honestly won't care where she sleeps.  DS isn't much of a hell raiser (at least compared to the other 2 year old boys I know) so I'm not entirely convinced it won't work.  I think it will take some getting used to but we are thinking about switching him to his bed in the next week or two so we will have a few weeks to get it figured out before baby comes.  All we have to do if it doesn't work is just move the crib from baby's room back to DS's room and have baby sleep in one of our various baby contraptions in our room until we get another crib.  And then yeah, we have the toddler bed, but we would need it eventually anyway.  It's not like we'd have to throw it out or anything.  

    And we did get a convertible crib but IMHO I hate the look of toddler beds which have been converted from cribs.  I think it's my OCD, but the super high back and the super high sides with the very low front is just so asymmetrical it makes me absolutely batsh!t crazy.  I have mega problems LOL.
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    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

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